As of lately I have felt more free
But not in sense that one would naturally assume.  
My freedom is one more personal to me,
It is one that is still in bloom.  
Yes, to some freedom is money,
Life is all about acquiring wealth.
Well let me tell you something honey,
One thing more important is health.
Others may require something deeper,
Something one may not see with the naked eye.
Yet one day you may come across a keeper,
And without knowing, you let them pass by.  
Love is something everyone searches for,
Whether that be in money, people, or possessions.
Yet somehow we always require much more,
And desires turn into obsessions.  
Once we require more and more,
We become human parasites.
There is nothing more to explore,
We will have tarnished our paradise.  
Do not live in past, there's no need to rewind.
Do not live in times yet to come, they have yet to occur
Just try to relax your mind,
And to the present moment you will transfer.
There is something beautiful and FREE about living in the now,
A poem may not even suffice.
It's a mindset rebirth, one you have to allow.  
Yet, I highly recommend you take my advice ❤

As far as love and life goes, I have no idea what I'm doing.  
Half of the time I don't know what or who I am pursuing.
Isn't life funny and confusing?
Half of it were worried, while the other half were just simply cruising?

What is love without fear ?
Everytime it fails you, you get stronger my dear.  
Don't let heartbreak become your demise,
Don't let love become something you despise.

Keep your head high you beautiful being a light,
Continue to make this world feel love with all your might !
Embrace the days of good and bad,
Don't ever let a rain cloud in the sky make you sad.  

You are beautiful addition to this earthly plane,
Live this life where there is so much to gain!
Love yourself and accept your own flaws,
Don't you ever dare put your love on pause (:

I always seem to make the same mistake,
Every time I fall in love it's a heart ache.
Hopefully, soon, I find what I'm looking for,
No longer will I make myself suffer, no more.

There are times like these quite often
I can feel my brain start to soften
My heart begins beating in my chest
My thoughts never cease to rest
I feel so lonely in this state of mind
Everyone I love has left me behind
Even with there friendly gestures and hellos
I'm in such a deep place, yet nobody knows
Loneliness can be a friend to you
It will stick by your side in whatever you do
But it will also part ways
When you start coming into better days
The hellos will start to become cherished
Where before it would have perished
You start to realize God was opening your heart
To those you were supposed to love from the start

You don't know what missing him means.  
Missing him is waiting 3 years for him to return.
Missing him is his return, and then shortly after his departure.  
In the past his departure was school, going away to college.
This time it was you, Wanting something different.  
There's no reason for you to miss him when he's already yours..
All I ask is that you know what you have and keep him happy.  
He may have hurt me over and over but maybe you're different.
Deep down he has the most beautiful heart.  
He cares so deeply for those around him.  
I know he'll make you happy, if you let him.  
Love him deep and passionetely.  
Don't let your demons get in the way..
You can't miss him until hes gone.  
I miss him everyday.

Today was the day I found reasoning.  
Reasons to all the madness you've bestowed me.  
It was true, the spark was not there anymore.  
But the deceitful lies should have been saved for yourself.  
I didn't need false hope to be okay with you again.  
A friendship would have sufficed.  
But you're so selfish that you thought you wanted more.  
Instead you've left me here again.  
Guessing why I wasn't good enough this time.  
The truth is the complete opposite though.  
Were you good enough for me?
After all these years of self-improvement on my part.. You're still the same.  
You don't know what you want, as far as love goes.  
You will never be satisfied if you're always expecting something from nothing.  
Love can't be forced, I understand that..
But a friendship after so many years of being close,
That would have been ideal.  
You wanted the whole thing.  
You wanted the comfort, the love.
You wanted all of these things from someone who was trying desperately to love themselves.
Someone who didn't even feel comfort in their own skin.
Boy oh boy did you let your colors shine this time.  
It's true, I am very devestated.. Losing you was hard for me.
Realizing that I was putting you on a pedestal where you didn't belong, is the worst part.  
Realizing that I have wasted my time and love on something, never to be appreciated, kills me.
But God works in the most beautiful ways.  
I prayed for him to show me who you really were, because of my doubts.
He answered my prayers the day you called me and said you couldn't do it anymore.  
I know it was her, the reason you left me.. the one that you believe got away...
But just wait and see, one day that girl will be me