Her laughter floated,
like smoke on the wind.
All grace and beauty as it danced in the sun.
Short lived and,
short tasted before it dissipates.
Yet,
for all the music held within her voice,
the melody held delicate notes,
of heartache,
of sorrow.
I could always hear between the lines.
She made me cry while I smiled.

All my attempts
to grasp upon inspiration
that will linger for more than
just a moment,
end in flames and utter disaster.
Yea,
the fire lends me light
but it's a momentary
high before I drop from the pinnacle
and return to earth
with a crash.
I'll never stop the campaign
but I'm growing afraid
that if I continue this path
I'll wind up broken and cracked.

My words are stuck again;
my tongues gone almost stiff.
Guess I got hung up again.
Got caught up in the mix.

And there's no one to blame,
the tales always the same.
I'll always think of sunshine when someone says your name.

We both knew it had to end,
we both could see the rust.
I'm only sorry that I left,
before I lost your trust.

And there's no one to blame,
the tales always the same.
I will always see your smile at the end of my hard days.

When I get drunk alone,
I think of how you laughed.
Then I look down at my phone,
and I let the moment pass.

I swear there's no one to blame,
this tales always been the same.
I still hear your voice amid the murmur or the rain.

The wait here is breaking my bones,
I'm always searching for love or I'm searching for home.
No matter how hard that I seem to try,
I wind up just standing in line.
This whiskey will **** me no doubt,
but it's better than tasting your name in my mouth.
I can run, I can hide, I can waste all my time,
but you always wind up on my mind.
The good ones keep walking away,
while the worst ones come through and keep trying to stay.
I'm always asking the world to send me a sign,
but it seems all my hopes are declined.
I've learned on my own I can stand,
that won't ever stop me from grasping for hands.
At the end of the day I'll seek and I'll strive
for a woman who's strong, true and kind.

I've always been a sucker for the deceitful,
the dissolute.
In knowing such, it's become hard to trust my instinct;
it always seems to lead me astray.
I despise wasting effort,
I grow bitter and disillusioned with ease.
Perhaps for a loss,
perhaps for the better,
this realization has forced me,
into reservation.
I expect nothing,
I assume nothing,
I extend myself,
for nothing.
I'm waiting for the universe to align things,
to tell me I'm safe to dive in.
I'm willing,
but waiting.
Show me something.
Tell me something.
Do something!
Like gasoline waiting for a spark,
I've got the potential to start a serious fire;
I just need a little motivation.

I'll sit and smoke a cigarette with death,
before we step.
We'll share a couple shots of bourbon,
then we'll down whatever's left.
I could argue on our love,
and all the memories we've kept.
But a part of me is bound,
just to stand and accept.
I don't enjoy a wasted word,
it'll leave me bereft.
So I'll just look him in the eye,
take a drag and save breath.

I would've died for you
but don't think about it too much

don't imagine a knife in my hands
slicing away all of the parts of myself
that you decided weren't good enough for you
the parts you forgot to love

don't think about my blood
running onto your floor as you stand there
watching it and wondering
how you're going to clean it up
I'm dying on the inside
because you've stolen from me
the kind of love that is never supposed to leave

I didn't love you the way novels are written
we didn't hold hands and watch the stars
we watched the sunrise in smiles
we made memories at midnight
I never loved you with kisses or cuddling
but I loved you

so much so that I didn't need to breath
if the air in your lungs was slipping away
I would have cut myself open
and offered you my own
and I was hoping you would do the same
but I know better now

do not strain yourself on matters of my death
if i died from exposure you'd have my jacket
if I had a bullet in my heart I jumped in front of you
I would have

because the past no longer will influence my future
I will not die for you anymore
for you laughed at my love
and tossed it aside

so when you lay dying from the vacancy in your chest
because when I ran I left without a word
don't think too much about it

Locketh me up
Throw me in prison:
I'm in love dear sir
Oh didn't I mention?



©Brandon nagley
©Lonesome poets poetry
©Earl Jane nagley dedication