You reside in the depths of my mind
You always seem to come out at the worst times
The "what ifs" and "whys?" Seem to take control and never pass me by
No matter how much I cry
No matter how much I beg
No matter how ******* angry I am
You never seem to give

You're a weight
Nothing more
You drag me to the depths of my sadness
And leave me forlorn
Whilst I sit at the bottom
And think about what went wrong
I remember

          you've been here all along

At the bottom of my lungs that breath of old, stale air sits deep in my chest and weighs me down so
No matter how hard I exhale it will not leave my soul
I will fight and never let it take control. Darkness you are not my friend but What an enemy you've become
A worthy opponent with stamina and run
But please it's about time I've kicked you to the curb
Every street I walk down you're at every turn
And how I wish you'd die
And how I'd wish you'd live
And how I wish I'd killed you long ago With hopes you'd never give.

Why would I want to go to sleep not knowing if I'll wake up and feel happiness tomorrow?
To wake up and feel as I do right now would be disappointing and disorienting.
For what it's worth, I will wake up to see the light come and fade away again, bringing back the same darkness I've adapted to.
And I will stare at the light until it burns holes in my eyes
until i can see myself in the light because i need to be the light of my own life
I need to feel again
I need to step out of the darkness and embrace the warmth, for I will not fall victim to the darkness nor will I call it my home.
I am a nomad moving to and fro, but I will revisit the darkness
it lingers in my mind and for every breath I take I inhale a second time.