I see
tears
before
sunlight,
feel
pain
before
warmth

sense
invisible
shackles
grow
so heavy
I can
barely
move

In
quiet
desperation
my body
attempts
to
drown
itself

My cat follows me around the house
Poor little guy doesn't realize I'm lost

Here I sit.
I don't believe I'm sitting. I don't believe in anything.
I can think I'm sitting. As long as I maintain that I could be wrong.

I don't believe in love. Even if I wanted to.
I can tell how I feel when you're around. And how I feel when you're not.

I don't believe in life. Or death. How could I ever rationalize a belief in something I don't understand?

I think. About fireflies, world *******, scotch, and jokes.
The jokes are to make you laugh. It's my favorite song.

I don't believe in anything. I envy those that do.
I'm just a lonely nihilist who wants to believe in you.