The night sky above us was splattered with stars.
Millions of them.
Galaxies and constellations right before our eyes.
The universe was dancing and rejoicing
To a cadence that could not be heard, but only felt.

Lord am I unholy
Torn is what they tell me

Marked by my sins
From my beast within

Holy I know not
As filth is my only friend

Peace is not within me
As I walk down this path of pain

Despise I let control me
Love is not my intentions

For I know no difference
Torn, as I am filth

I pour in my own misery
Stole is what they gave me
Control is when they try to save me

Yes I am the one, the only one
That would carry on this far

Lies in my head
Take me from this life of misery

I have no allegiance to my soul
For I am already torn

As I pray to my master
That I made a big mistake

It was what controlled me
That led me to my own misery

Soul searching for a life there after
Same old trip that held my hand

Drifting endlessly in darkness
Flying not wise to notion,
to get my own way

I’m sending you this message in a bottle
To see if I can touch your thoughts with mine
Although the hopes and laughter,  I send may reach you after
They’re tattered by the ravages of time
I watch the bottle drift to the horizon
No hope of whats inside reaching your eyes
But if by chance they do, and my bottle comes to you
It may then be a memory, in disguise

My words to you are those I’ve said today
Tonight they drift upon the sea alone
Years from now to find you, just someone to be kind to
Even though by then I shall be gone
So watch over the ocean for a message
Sent from I, so lost and long before
To read the hopes and dreams, of a man insane it seems
As we stand upon a past,
and future shore....

Dean Evans
8-14 2012

I hope one day it will fade
Like the breath or smudged finger print
on a freezing window on a car
that’s driving a little too fast

I hope that one day you find her

Whether that’s me or she or we
never speak again,

at least I know you’re happy

I hope you remember

I hope my eyes are burned into your membranes and every night 

when you fall asleep you see a flash of blue
and feel a sting of red

I hope I am the forget me not and the remember me always

I’ve always been the stranger flower in the garden,

but you loved that

I hope you love yourself

like I loved you

Fully, compassionately, with a loss of all fear—

soaring on the wings 
of child-like faith

I loved you like I loved Santa, 

the tooth fairy and 

the Easter bunny—

I loved you like
I knew 
you weren’t real

I loved you like
I knew 
you couldn’t stay—


But love yourself in a new way
Love yourself within the steely
strength of a thousand straight backbones

A thousand concrete cubes

A thousand “I love you”s
You were my first kiss 

of the old year 

and my last poem 

of the new

please tell me 
I
didn’t waste my new words

on you.