"close your eyes"
you said.
so i sat there with
my eyes closed.
and as i sat there
on the
floor of your white
bedroom
i felt your gentle
hands hold my face
and guide it
towards yours
so you could
rub the buttery lipstick
on my lips.
i felt it for just a minute
before my mind
turned on.
i wondered
why you told
me to close my
eyes.
was it because you
were looking
at my lips?
i hope the rest
of the makeup on
my face
covered up
my red cheeks.
the romantic
tension hung in
the air like the
set of heavy curtains
on the windows
of your white
bedroom.
the cloth was draping onto
the floor and piling up.
making an
ocean of cloth surrounding
us. but it's
hard to float
in the sea of cloth
and i ended up crawling
out, coughing.
i never
did learn why
you said
"close your eyes".
eventually i
opened my eyes
to your white
bedroom
again. but
this time it
looked different.

"can you come
get water
with me?"

the phrase that would
silence our entire
classroom.

everyone knew
that the
water fountains were
the hotspot of drama.

back then the
matter was extremely
serious.

now it's a joke.

we used to think
our
problems were
these serious things.

but now, as i
stare into the
abyss
of loneliness, i
understand that

it can't be that way anymore,

and it never will be again.

seeing headlights
pass by
and watching the shadow
dance on the walls
reminds me of
lazy summer days
at the lake house.
in the upstairs room
where i would lay next to you
on the big white bed.
we would go downstairs and
have a cinnamon roll
or two.
then splash around
in the lake all day with
the mud in our toes
water around our ankles
scrapes on our knees
cold water in our belly buttons
life jackets pushing
against our chests
and the hot sun
baking our soft skin.
back then
the days were like months
but everything got fast
once we changed grades.
the days were like hours.
i was too busy
to watch the shadows
dance on the walls.
i woke up alone
ate a bowl of cereal
and saw you in class.
no more mud
no water
no scrapes
no life jackets
no sun
but every moment filled
to the brim with
the feeling
of a crush.
hazy daydreams in math
vivid fantasies in english
wild hopes in art
always on your team in gym.
back then
the days were like hours
but the hours were filled with you
and now my hours are
empty
desperately trying
to find someone who
i can compare to you.
the shadows
don't dance on the walls
in my room anymore
but when i see them somewhere else
i think of you.