and its weird because I don't really know him
but just the thought of getting to know him makes the butterflies in stomach have seizures.
I don't really know him
but I think he might be the one who saves me

Like coffee in the morning
I grew used to you somehow
It started bitter and without warning
  it is ending that way now

Like Gene Kelly or Sinatra
You have Marlon Brando class
Went to pop music from the opera
Now I cant stop thinking about ***

Like two stings out of tune
We always seem to clash
Bring your beauty to the room
Where the music doesn't match

Art is ever changing: lke w/e idc
People rearranging: Thrz no bEutY Ne wer3
(Jaha baha LOL
They prolly tlk like diz N h3L7 )

I. Boy with the silly laugh
We were best friends.
You were there when my father left and I was there when you had your heart broken.
I knew you didn't love me. But I didn't care.
That was the beautiful part about it.
I still loved you knowing I wouldn't get love in return.
I hope you found what you were looking for.

II. The first boy I ever thought I'd marry
We spent so much time together and yet it never seemed like enough
I remember the first time we slept together.
My curfew was 11 but I still walked through my front door at 8 am the next morning.
My mom was so mad, but that night you tasted like heaven and I knew that's the only time I would ever get a glimpse of heaven.
If there is a God, I know he brought you to me.

III. The boy who ran out of time
I remember the day I met you, you played with my hair.
I remember how you'd always smell like vanilla and coffee.
I remember our first kiss, how your tongue would glide around my lip.
I remember the scratches and the screams to the angels.
I remember the day I last saw you.
I remember a full sanctuary with 100 shades of black.
I hope you're resting. I hope you're in heaven playing baseball like you did as a child.
I hope you know that when I told you to leave I didn't mean for you like this.

You say, "I ate so much I want to go anorexic"
You don't know
but I'm anorexic
I'm a loose cannon
Doctor says I'm gonna die any day now
but I can't stop
All I think about is food, and calories,
and how good my hip bones would look if I was only 5 pounds lighter
I have no friends anymore.
But I'm surprised.
Even I hate me.
Even I don't want to hang out with me.
I have no life besides sitting at home thinking about carbs
As dead as I look from the outside I feel more dead inside
As cold as I am all the time, my heart is colder.
So don't you dare say you want this life
Don't say this is desirable
Because its not..


I hate myself.
If only I was skinnier...