I saw the flames
He jumped through
He just leaped through the fire
Completely unhurt
I was amazed
Id heard tale of such feats
But even still
To actually watch it happen
I was enthralled
I was awestruck
And then i desired to feel
Those flames lick my face
I wanted to feel the heat
And yet remain unscathed
I wanted to jump
And so i did
I ran towards the flames
I was so excited
I wanted to leap through the air
But when i came close
When i saw those flames in my face
I stopped
For a split second
I stopped
I hesitated
And that threw me off
So as i jumped i fell
Into the flames
And i got burned
I have the scar on my knee
Its not bad
But **** did it hurt
I have the giant bruise on my side
And **** did it hurt
But none of my physical pain
Hurt nearly as much
As the embarrassment did
As much as knowing that everyone had watched
That everyone saw
That everyone knew
That i had failed
I had fallen and got burned
And that pain was unbearable
I had to leave to step away
I couldn't face anyone
And so i went off
By myself
And sat and thought
And made the decision that i would play it safe
And not take risks
And thus I wouldn't fail
And thus I wouldn't face the pain
I could just stay safe
But as i think about it
I remember the rush
The flames licking my face
That moment before i fell
And i felt amazing
Before I hesitated before i jumped
I was excited
I was doing something
And it was a rush
So yeah i fell
And yeah i hurt
And yeah the pain was real
But thinking back to it
Id do it again in a heart beat
The only difference is
I wouldn't hesitate
Or if i did
Right after i fell
Rather than leaving
Id run at the fire again
And id keep jumping
Until I finally made it.

Drowning?
Or already drowned
The demon screams
The child hides
The parent leaves
The monster hurts
The child aches
The tongue is twisted
The knife cuts
The wounds never heal
The scabs stay open
The blood leaks
People stare
Its brushed away
But the pain stays
The voices are louder
The care is less
The friends leave
The numbness stays
The people seem smaller
The fakness
All the acting
All the fake smiles
All the lies
All the "im oks"
Im drowning......
.....or maybe im already drowned.

Im not what appear
This smile is but a mask
For im not really here
I just to pretend to be to complete a task

A task of fooling you
Into thinking of me
As someone like you too
Instead of who is really me

But im nothing like you
Im so dark
Its nothing new
This crazy story ark

But listen my friend,
You need to hear
This relationship is at an end
You dont want to hold me dear

There are sins unknown
Scars covered up
The darkness has grown
And its so tough

To tell you this
But its only fair
For you to know
Before we become a pair

You need to know who i am
And that this isnt I
But this is where i stand
Im just a demon standing by

This demon inside
He controls me
He makes me hide
Who im to be

And so im sorry for fooling you
But its ok
Because maybe your fooling me too.

"Everyone will hate you eventually"
They said,
"For some it just takes times."

Sometimes im silent
Not because i dont have anything to say
But simply because
Its hard to talk over the voices in my head

The first doll is really big
She looks very strong
And even intimidating
She seems so tough and powerful
Beneath this doll theres a sweet little girl
Who loves to show her affection for others
She loves pretty and sweet things
Shes a good christian girl
Always does whats right
And beneath that doll is a screaming lunatic
And insane person who cant be controlled
A mad person with a thurst for blood and vengeance
One who is obviously weighed down by the past
And beneath them all
The tiniest of dolls
Is a sad little girl
Not more than five years old
Shes crying, she never stops crying
Because the only doll in front of her that she can see
Is the screaming lunatic
And the only emotion this little girl knows is fear.