I am a home.
I welcome you home.
When you are sad,
to I you come.

“Don’t touch me”.
That’s what I think in my head every time
you come near me.
“Don’t touch me”.
Keep your fat fingers away from me.
You ***** me
with your eyes and your mind,
you kidnapped me.
Took me on a rollercoaster of a emotions
only to drop me from the top.
You dropped me from the top
and expected me to land on top
of you.
I wouldn’t touch you even if you paid me to.
Even if you wanted me to.
I would rather choose to lose
everything
than to be caressed by you.

I married you.
Decided to spend my life with you.
But
That was before the betrayal.
Before the kid.
Before you did what you did
and said what you said.
Before sleeping next to you meant
sexually being touched
and before you stopped trusting me.
So I sleep away
from the stress of being awaken.
It’s nice.
Being able to think and hear my own thoughts
instead of hearing your snores
that rock me almost as much as your words do.
Did.
As much as your words did.

This is goodbye
and saying I’m sorry would be a lie.
Since you are unable to recognize
what was blatantly in front of your eyes.
I must leave.
I must flee.
I must retreat
and the next time you see me,
make sure you ignore me.
Pretend you ain’t see me.
It’s over.

Sincerely,
Your Ex-Wifey

and my chest keeps constricting.
tightening.
and my eyes keep watering.
gushing.
and my head keeps hurting.
throbbing.

feels like theres a hand clamped around my heart .
squeezing
and tightening .
tighter and tighter .
until I can’t breathe .
like I’m trapped in my own head ,
nailed to my own
coffin .
almost like I dug the hole ,
so now I have to lay in it .
a bed of nails ,
to be my home for all eternity .
granted my own void .
a black hole filled with nothing but misery .
a place where you’re
married to the mistress of death .
a sneaky snake who slithers into the darkest parts of your mind
then brings them out .
no ‘out of sight out of mind’ ,
it’s always on your mind
all of the time .
it’s anxiety.