all i do is sit and wait
the feeling isn’t great
when all i do is give and you take
your energy seems fake
is what i’m doing a mistake
this feeling makes my stomach ache
when it comes to me all you do is flake

your name will always be a reminder
as to why storms are named after people
you came and destroyed me
flooded my soul with your waves
of distruction
washing me away
took everything i had and you wrecked it
full force and left no trace of who i was behind
but a rememberence of who you were and what you did

Seconds
Minutes
Hours
Days
Months
Years
Fading Slowly
While I Too Faid Away In The Background Too
Do I Give Time , Time ?
Do I Run After It ?
Do I Melt Like Dalis Clock ?
Or Do I Advance Through It Like Doc & marty?
Ticking
Just Ticking
Time Is Running
And So Am I.

i do not want a love so deep the ocean gets jealous
instead i want a love as pure as child
who loves their mother whole heartedly
to feel something so real
that can’t be concealed
it’ll help me heal

Trying To
Repeatedly Get
All These
Pathetic Emotions / Thoughts Out Of My Head
Pleading With Myself
Every Moment
Endlessly
Dying To Forget & Get Rid Of This Impulsive Behavior

i am not quite religious
but everynight i pray to God
you continue to shine like the stars
in the night sky
knowing i am a sinner
i’ll get on my knees for you for all night
it’s such a delight
laying in bed while you hold me tight
even thought its not right
hoping it will end with us seeing the light

ever wish you were a raindrop ?
dropping out of a cloud
falling onto someone’s window
having them trace your every move
then disappearing
and having them wonder
where’d you go ?
i wanna be that rain drop
i want someone to follow me and
wonder about my disaperance
tracing my steps

I am homesick for a place I can no longer call home
i can no longer get accepted with wide loving open arms
the door is locked and no one no longer lives there
it is abandoned and cold just how you left my heart
homesick for a place where my soul was filled with joy and my heart with love
i am home sick for a place that no longer exists

because like a rose with thorns
i am beautiful but hurt when touched

i am a tornado
just a whirlwind of emotions
knocking down and destroying things
taking everything with me
because i self destruct
from all the emotions
i surpress from myself and everyone

i've been drinking lately like there's a message at the end of every bottle
hopping to find one written about how I'll get my life together but it seems like I haven't been drinking enough to get to that message
or maybe the message is to quit while i'm ahead

i’m stuck in this phase
and everything is just a daze
my life’s been a crazy maze
like a cat and mouse chase
i’m running out of grace
can’t keep up with the pace
i’m coming out last in the race
am i just a lost case?

when i see toilet paper i think of you
because you’re so full of ****
and i want to wipe away all the
filth and lies that you have
and flush you down the toilet so you can disappear

your lips are full of poison
the way i taste the lies off your mouth
taste bitter
the sound of your voice while you speak those worlds of filth
make me nauseated
word *****
everything you do to me
it kills me slowly

you are my sun
you brighten up my days
you are my moon
keeping me at peace
you are the stars in my night sky
you shine on me at night
you are my entire universe

i got tangled in your web of lies

i was the fly that got trapped

When i first kissed you it felt like God created you for me

I felt like i was the other half of your rib , your eve

You held my hand with such security , the way a mother holds her baby the first time it's in her arms

We fit perfect sleeping next to each other , You were my missing puzzle piece

at times i feel like i'm going to erupt
like a volcano
or crumble like the berlin wall
or be like humpty dumpty
and take a fall
or break into pieces like the berlin wall
but instead i stand strong like an oak
not this time i will not choke

i have been destroyed
like the tower of babylon
i've fallen apart to my ruins
and there's nothing left of me but a deserted memory

do you ever think God gets upset when we don't love ourselves enough ?
to  think it's crazy that he's known me before i was even born .
that's true love , for someone to still love you
wether it's good or bad .

that date you went on
made me cry all night long
couldnt get over the fact that you are gone
but in your game i was the pawn
but tonight i realized you were just a ******* all along

you don't want me but you don't want anyone else to have me
what a shame
when you play with my feelings like a game
but i am the one to blame
cause you toy with me and its lame

I was born on January 22nd , that makes me an Aquarius , which is an air sign
All I know is that it makes me a chill sign
Which is ironic because I am always dying inside
Walking around like everything is fine
I don't know how to swim and I like boys with the brightest smiles

I am still learning how to be vocal
Other times I am either too loud in quiet places
Or too quiet in loud places

when we kisss i can taste the lies on your tongue
bitter sweet , it’s my favorite treat
the sweet taste of disbelief
knowing i am not the only one
because when everything is said & done
you get to shout “i won”
in this games played for two
in which i had no clue
while you let feelings brew
letting it simmer through
all no thanks to you

bitter can either be a taste or feeling
i don’t know if i am dealing with both
i have to let go of those feelings
i need some growth
it’s just the way your name rolls off my tongue leaves a bad taste behind
when you come to mind
it gets me feeling upset
this is a secret that can’t be kept

i am jealous of the pillows you get to lay your head on when you sleep
because i wish it were my chest you would rest on so you could hear my heartbeat

i am jealous of the sheets you grab to keep you warm
because i wish i were there to hold you so you could feel the warmth of my body

we were in constant dispute like the Capulet's & the Montagues
but a love like Romeo & Juliet
like Tybolts & Merctuios hatred for each other , very passionately
ride or die like Romeo & Benvolio
trying to hold each other down
sacrificing lives for on another
but just like the poison Romeo drank
you were poison to me

Frequently wondering what’s
Really going on
At this point and time
I’m tired and really need to
Get away before leaving without  
Looking back and pretend you don’t
Exist to me

These days have been have felt like I am stuck in a Stanley Kubrick film
Just normalizing the traumatic events
I am looking for someone who is heaven sent
Who would let me vent
And sit in my tent of emotions
Dealing with all this commotion
Of the world falling
I need something calming

i always said when we kissed you i can taste the next couple years of my life

your lips held stories of our love that was yet to be told

your eyes were the window to our escape , shining so bright

your voice was my night time lullaby

your hands held the key to my heart

and you , you were just everything i have asked for and so much more

i have  been sad these past few days
my mind is in a daze
thoughts of you in my mind running though a maze
i think to myself this heartache is just a phase
while you leave my texts unread and keep it delayed
i sit afraid and think
letting all my feelings sink
knowing you treat my feelings like a kink