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Him
"Can I see them?" he peered
I tugged my arm away as my hair covered half of my face
I didn't want to see how vulnerable I was
I'm nothing more than a selfish beast
He was bewildered
I looked at him and his eyes were full of sorrow
He cared so much for me
He needed me
I knew I couldn't endure my whole life without him as well
So I let him
He carefully rolled up my right sleeve,
Revealing my pale, lifeless skin full of scars and unwanted memories
I felt tears in my eyes. I am shattered.
I couldn't look at him
And the next thing I knew, he pulled me into a soft,warm embrace
I could feel his breath tickle my neck
His velvety pink lips nibbling on the pale flesh
"Hush, love." he whispered and wiped the tears from my eyes
"Don't leave me, okay?" I begged
"Never in a million years."he said looking into my eyes once more
His beautiful orbs mesmerizing me
He lifted my chin up and kissed my parched lips
Wanting him and only *him
Out of my soul.
This world's defeated.
Growing gets old.
I do not wanna be this.
I've got a friend.
We've got a secret.
Tell me tell me, my baby-
Now what are you feeling?

It's the white and black panic attacking back at me
Anxiety smacks a crack in my cranium
Titanium strength and resistance splits into
Blurred vision-
Was a visionary for religion.
I ditched it, admit that I miss it, but this is
The dismissive kiss off my fingertips. With
Big lips on a mouth with a tongue thirsty for solace
And stable walls to hold it all together.
Whether it's the back-breaking, ground-shaking calm of whatever,
Or the never never say never, you're ever-changing
It chains me to an unreal reality.
*Am I really existing?
Written March 23rd, 2011
Music slithers through my skull
Like a struggling maggot-
Drowning in my brain fluids.
I gotta shake my head-
This isn't real, nothing's inside.
Hollowed eye sockets ooze black
But everything is gray.
And my mind is still rotting maggot music.
It's pulsing, throbbing in dull metals
To slit my tongue in two for the blood of one.
I can't feel this, I can't feel you, I can't feel...
I am a worm, and I'm covered in dirt
And all I can do is play my part, and
Play music.
Written October 14th, 2011
Use me.
I am your toy, just a little doll
For you to play with.
You can bend me any way you want.
Spread my legs wide open so you can come inside.
You can *** inside if you like it,
Do whatever you want to me.
Just use me.
Cause my plastic doll heart cannot feel.
And I only want to satisfy you
In all the wrong ways.
You could drag me around on a leash like a dog,
And I'd follow you closely and lay on your lap,
Lick your wounds and be your best friend,
Or maybe just your favorite toy.
So hold me down so I can't escape.
Whisper in my ear that you need me
So you can put all of you inside me,
And take all that's left of me out.
Tell me that you want me
More than any other toy in the chest
And use me until I just fall apart.
Break me.
Cause I'm worn and tired
And you might want a new toy soon if you're bored.
Until then just **** me.
**** me until my entire doll body comes alive,
And ***** you like I need you to use me.
Then just leave me there, lying naked on the floor,
With no place to belong, when I long to be held in your arms.
Tell me you're finished with me.
Then just kick me under your bed,
And forget about me.
Written August 28th, 2011
There was an old woman,
Who lived in a shoe;
She ate peas with cumin,
And smelled like shampoo.
She listened to Poison,
And had 7 cats;
She ate berries of boison,
And did acrobats.
She worked at a ***** house,
Made dolls on the side;
She hated to work out,
But loved ham-fried rice.
She had crusty socks,
That she'd hide inside books.
She had hide-a-key rocks,
And rusty fish hooks.
Her only collection
Were lamps with no shades;
Her only rejection
Were moles with no names.
All she ever said
Was the great "cellar door."
And now that she's dead,
The shoe lady's no more.
"what an odd woman,"
I said with a poke.
"she's surely a strange one.
I smoke too much dope."
Written July 11th, 2008
She ripped the stitches out of
Rotting skin and sinked in to
Seeping sin, dripping crimson
Crashing to the ground.
That same hole in the earth
With a cold to call home-
Not alone down there, she lets
The worms observe her every move.
Wriggling in dirt
Her thirst pulsed hard and black;
Can't take it back,
Too late to save that day
So let yourself unravel with the sutures
There's no future when you're dead.
Written sometime in October, 2013
Who says depression
Must be gray?

It's not

I see red
In the blood
From my cuts

I see,
Blues, greens, purples
In the bruises
From the
"Accidents"

I see white clearness
In the tears
From the sadness

I see orange and yellow
From the hot
Bursts of pain

So take it from me,
Depression
Is not simply
*Gray
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