There's a noose around your neck,
where you've hung your expectations
Too high.

I want to be your first
And I want to be your last.

I want to be the first person you text
as you wake up in broad daylight
And I want to be the last you see
as you yawn and call it a night.
I want to be the first to hear that joke
you thought up in a Biology class
And I want to be the last you’d want
to respond with a few vacuous laughs.

I want to be the first you tell of
a scalding sensation on the way home
And I want to be the last ingredient
to your creation — your critic over the phone.
I want to be the first you ask
what jacket and shoe colors suit you more
And I want to be the last to
be blamed if your heart feels a sore.

I want to be the first to see you draw up
a plan for a dream you’ve had for years
And I want to be the last beside you
if it fails and you’re drenched in tears.
I want to be the first thing that comes
to you when you hear the word “happiness”
And I want to be the last to know that
all along, what I’ve been rejecting is your best.

I want to be your first
And I want to be your last
But I can never be your first,
A question still if I will be your last.
For now, I am happy that I am
Neither your first nor your last
Rather, that I just am.

My mind drifts
untethered to the decomposing flesh
that binds it
traps my wings with bars of meat

my mind wanders through the world
one day i will not come back
freedom beckons
i soar on the breath of thought

may be i don't care about you
may be i don't like you
may be i don't love you
all these were
my wrong assumptions

Shave your head
Paint your face purple
And wear a zebra jumpsuit

Eat with both hands
Wink at passing strangers
And live in a secluded cabin

Join the circle of oddies
Tainted by social norm