I do not know what become of
Frank’s biological right leg,

whether it was severed
and incinerated or he

was born with only one
and crutch bound until

fitted with his first
artificial leg.

I  do understand the look on
on his face after he unlocks

the prosthetic from his
femur and massages

the foot pain on
his stump.

Do you also wake up in the middle of the night and almost reach for me
because you forgot that I'm not there anymore?
I slept next to someone else last night,
But I had a dream that I was next to you,
And I have never felt more disappointed in my life than in that moment when I woke up.
I can't tell which is worse, the disappointment or
Trying to sleep while holding myself together because it feels like everything is about to spill out of me.

According to everyone I should just go meet someone else,
but it's not that easy.
I have no interest in talking to anyone when I'm sober,
When I'm drunk I just end up telling everyone about you.
I can't tell if I'm waiting for someone to confirm that you're never coming back
Or for someone to lie to me so I can feel better for the night.

Can I ***** out all my feelings too, along with the *****?
I almost thought I had, the night I was dry heaving into the morning.
That was the night I got so drunk I couldn't stop asking everyone I saw
Why
Didn't
You
Love
Me?
I'm sure all the strangers in the room thought I was crazy.
I have dreams about you all the time and even in my dreams,
You still don't love me.

If I stare at your Facebook chat bubble long enough,
Will I see the three dots of you beginning to type a message?
If I stare out my window long enough,
Will I see you walking towards my front door?
I still want to punch a hole through the wall whenever I hear a song that you used to sing to me.
That's become particularly annoying
since the Chainsmokers got popular.
Apparently I can't get over you
while still listening to your SoundCloud playlists
But I'm not sure what else is worth listening to.

The other day, my friend commented on how fast I walk.
I told him it was because I had gotten used to your speed
since you're much taller than me.
In reality, I think it's just to make up for the parts of my life
that haven't been moving at all.

I've said all I can say
I gave my heart and had it thrown away
Never thought I could have it all
To live I felt I had to heed your call

The little cuts so do add up
The gashes run too deep
Couldn't learn to keep that love I once felt long ago
I knew I had to let it go

I think back to that day
You turned your back and spirited away
Damaging pained and darkened heart
Our passion sundered souls were torn apart

It took all of my strength to live
Had nothing left to give
Wondering if you were aching too
I wept to keep a part of you

I found a place to dwell
Within myself I found my heart as well
I finally learned again to be
What I had lost you couldn't take from me

The scars I wear all over me
I know to let them be
They are part of me forevermore
I only had to find the door

As the raven whispers to the dove
Someday I will find love
Until then I will always journey on
And live my ever changing song

I lost yet found
a piece of myself
there with you
in the moonlight
I lost my heart
it is no longer mine
but now lies inside yours
My soul was found that night
between the trees
and water of the steam
I found it in a place
I never thought to look
in another...
in your heart.

I found it in your words
...I love you
Tentatively
I felt them twist
their way inside me
sinking further
than any other
They reach through me
waking a desire
I didn't know existed
A helpless passion

I found it in your touch
softly
like feathers
yet it was capable
of breaking down
these walls
I built up high
around me
You touched me
like no other
timidly yet possessively
you stole my heart

I found it in you


©ShawnaRenea

So not to surface after a torrent aunt Lorrell  was buried nine feet
deep on a hillside in a rural cemetery next to relatives with headstones
of Pauline, Bebbe, Margaux,  and Bror—common French and Swedish names.

Our bodies are temporary blossoms; family history says
Lorrell had four *******, Bebbe a glass eye,
and Margaux webbed toes.

I await.

One dozen migratory Black-and-white Warblers lay
like fallen piano keys on the sidewalk in front
of a 14-story glass constructed building;
I watched as the janitor swept
them into the street.