Last night
as I sat in
the ancient temple
atop the mountain,
my people surrounding
           me, generations
upon generations,
  voices ascending
       in the wispy and
            earthbound solidarity
                 of ancient prayers,
I felt the words
               rise up
around me, protecting, loving
their intonations
           tingling inside
the doorways
         of my brain
expanding the limits
through glass
and sacred ceilings,
       up unto the stars
celestial understandings
pushing through
my crumbling
walls to break
through barriers
         from the thickness
of night
reaching out
      into purity, a beckoning
             of light
and the words, the singsong tones
passed down from the ancients    
like candlelit incantations
         grew soft, invisible wings    
             that touched my cheek
                   the silky presence of
               the grounded power            
             of my ancestors
welling up in the
         dark caverns within
and as we sang
of new beginnings
         and listened with one heart
to the call of the shofar,
        that ram's horn of blessings,
                            my knotted
loops of longing
resonated in musical notes
strands of the primordial
               in the deep forest
echoes
             of my being
linking my soul's cry
to all the people
           of my book
in a long swirling line
              down to the river,
the desert, the oceans
a tight braided chord
of solidarity, of lineage, of blood
the flesh and bones of heritage
pumping crimson freedom
Yes,
somewhere,
          in even the most
                broken chords
                   of heartstrings
                tiny wings
beat                    
        hope

And I,
a goddess of the moon
do wax and wane
in my orbit
radiating light
as it fills up
every pore..
Every beat
of my heart
a testament
to the battles
and victories
of my fight
And to you, my loves
I will always
give my all
every
    single
      precious
        moment
of every day
and night

To the tunes
of my favorite music
I dance
as tears stream down
my tender cheek.
All I wanted was love.
All I wanted
was soul's relief.

All I know is that
I have loved
and still do
This bursting
in my heart
will not reside
I attempt to will it away
with magic, with potions
but it keeps
its embers
quite alive

Embers that dance into flame
flames that rise and rise
smoke that wisps
into your form
as I turn away my eyes

And I know
that like a phoenix
I will rise up
and love again
I will survive this difficult time
and I will flourish
until the end

In the meantime
I feel like exploding
into a thousand pieces ---
this ball of fire unfulfilled.
But I let myself feel anyway,
lest I turn to alabaster,
for I always prefer the passion
rather than be chilled

I'm
a slippery
little otter
          under your
             melting hands
              flipping 'round
        my wet dark tail
as you make of me demands
your requests
             get me hot
make me swirl and twirl
                             and purr
as if I am of cat family,
not salt-licked sea baby
all wrapped in
           squelching fur
Now I am running
through forest        
        achingly free
        and brazen-bold
my mind in present moment
a lightness in my soul
doing what it takes
to survive
in this world of coldness harsh
indelibly finding my way
back to my hidden
          backwater marsh
for my hearth is  lilting sea
                  my kin made of
                            flipper and bone
                           my inner wild
             sings primal melody
as I leap into
what I call home
for after the rough and tumble
and inhalation of ocean's scent
after the kelp is all digested
I will place my head
          upon your chest
and breathe deep in rhythmic  
ebbs and tides
as my sleekness
enters your soul's portal,
                 your quiet fire of spark
this is where I can nestle,
                    contour-deep
in the glow of
your flickering
                    heart

Here,
where there are
stands on wheels
and plastic bags
marked with long,
medicinal names
Here,
where children
must endure
fear and
so many
****** of pain
Here,
also exists
a world of perspective
and a world of kindness, too
a world of hope
and understanding
with dedication
true.

Here
Another world exists
and my heart
wishes to fly into
each and every room
and offer comfort
to these tender souls
to tend to them as flowers,
to watch them shine
and bloom
Hush now, no more tears
Let the pain disperse
into the air
We know that you are fighting
and that life is not always fair
Here
the doctors and nurses
are tough angels…
unable to be soft
yet not hardened
kind and strength-giving
as they administer the
remedies
to sweet children
at all ages
and all stages
not letting their disease
be pardoned

I know that the most strength
Comes from the Beautiful Child herself:
And she is my shining,
amazing being,
my Pixie of hope, my gorgeous elf.
I send my prayers
Up above
And thank the Universe
The stars
For giving us a freedom
A strength that is only ours
For releasing that unwanted thing
For giving us a miracle
And I raise my head up to the skies
Bless the spiritual
mental
and physical
And we continue
This process
of medicine
to keep it all away
just once a month
for a few hours
and exactly
four days

"May she always
and only be healthy"
are the words and prayers
to go with this endeavor
yes, only Happy and Healthy
from this day
onwards
into
her own
Vitalic
Successful
Forever

(Amen)

In this frazzled home
furniture is swirling 'round
I open the door

Take me to an exotic country somewhere
in a foreign land, where humid jungles create
misty vapors and sculptured dunes arise from sand
take me to that unknown continent
of untethered, love-soaked lust
weave within me slips of words
like prayers within cracks of an ancient wall
like garlands of fragrant, knotted trust
where the only language spoken is our eyes
locked in soldered magnet pools a world our own
where permanently autumnal air brings unlimited breaths,
our heat soothed by the coolness of stone
Wander with me inside caves and canyons
skip through flowered valleys of green
I will soothe the ache of your loneliness
in the twilight's sunset sheen
and in the rivers of me flowing
pure pleasure gushing rain
soaking up our glowing, as we purge all
poison's pain
            One subtle touch of heart
and I am floating way out into grounded space
I ask you, kindly, to slowly take me apart
in cinematic rhythms of timeless, zoneless pace
all the while the licks and drips
between the moans and sighs
as we travel landscapes of our skin
across maps of muscles, lips and thighs
Our mutual body knowledge comes in pieces that are whole
sweet chasing out of bitter as we ****** forth our souls
I  will pour my light into your dark
most blackened, wounded chasms
turning lava into stream
dark quakes in gentle spasms
So just take me there, over the edge
to that other country, distant world
as we undo facades in one quick impassioned rising
so unknown in this plane of routine and steady
I have my ticket to outdo our hunger
                     under stars
My luggage and passports are ready

And now is the time
             when I gather
my tribe around me
All the sacred members
            sworn to loyalty
from lands near and far
as we unify as one
and follow that distant star
                   move forward into
the deep promised darkness
                           of night
almost stealthily
as to not wake up the enemy
even if we know
that here there is no
                       real enemy
only the fragments of ourselves
that battle each other secretly
in our quest for learning
dreams that weave their way
                  around our brains
only the questions
that pierce with arrowed pain
with desert static glowing quiet
dusky murmurs of whispers
in their tacit riot        
                  braiding their way
like prayers in the soul
And so you are with me
            helping me stay whole                  
Holding my hands
as I go to release my burden
and let go of the tactical
                   remnants of what was
Express the undoing
                       that must happen
Put the new phase into
tender sprightly action
          there simply is no choice
no turning back now
and you my loving
                  truth warriors
Tribe of so many facets
You have encircled me with
          the most lit up aura ever
Together we long for the dream
beams of light
as we march forward
kindred spirits
into the glowing arc of dawn
and I am ready
to plunge
into the newness of fire
ride the waves of passion
feed pure white desire
So walk with me
             to the sacred ground
Soon I will be back
to complete the next round
The battle has only just begun
whatever has been started
simply must be done
As I step into
              freedom's new sphere
with you at my side
there is simply
no fear

'

One night
as I pondered the stars
and let my heart reach
up and out
A wish made
into the night
unto the Universe
for Life
and inner peace
to truly come
For the zest of living
and all its workings
to take place
I received a special signal
an inter-galactic message
and answer, if you will
without expecting
without
even being
fully aware,
my head turned
to the constellations,
to the planets above
and my heart became
one with the stars
spiraling into
previously unknown
orbits
and taking my soul with
for a ride
A trip that is still
spinning me
on my axis..
as I try to hold on,
I am tripping on the light
as it pours into
this sacred vessel
A molecular re-working
that is building up
lost tissue, found
Bloodflow restored
and roaring like a river
And I am
opening up
like
a rare species
of flower
a breed of vegetation
uncategorized
unrecorded
by humans

I never expected
this to happen
Perhaps my spirit guides
do watch over me
Angels who know
darkness
while shining light
who know
pain
yet beat out
healing
from their
wings

Oct. 11 2015

Sometimes
         I feel a well
                   dug deep
         into my heart
  I try to stop it
but it quickly
becomes ocean
  and overflows  
     into great tsunami
          rises over all the levees
             rushes past dams                  
               breaks down tall
                   city structures,
              edifices crumbling
           in its path
     all the squid and octopi
    skitting forth
in wild pulses,
tentacles entangled
     in doorways and rooves
        slipping through narrow
                window-openings
                   as they pour ink
                       in clouds,
                         shifting shapes
                          in cephalopod excitement
                            while blue whales
                            and humpbacks
                               breach over bridges,
                             phosphorescent jellies
                          light up
                       the dark streets of
                      my arteries
                     electric eels illuminate
                    the alleyways of
                   desolation's thick syrup
                     and I cannot stop it even
                            if I wanted to,
                   these darkened,
                     swirling waves
I am both floating and flying
like a jumping manta ray
curling around the ferries
bobbing in seahorse iridescence
weaving between buses
as if they were corals

And when the storm subsides,
colorful rockpools form,
rich in diversity
It is there,
in between the
multicolored ***** and
succulent shellfish,
in a mermaid's
       voluptuous smile
and turquoise eye
that I see you,
so crystal clear
                I could reach out              
                      and bring you to me,          
                         holding you tight
                         until the
                gentle break
     of
          morning

piqued into a new glowing,
I strain at my bonds
shake the slick ribbon
of doubt
from around my mouth
sit on my hands
to keep from shaking

A storm is gathering within
my center
the hot pink light emanating
from between my thighs
fuchsia slicing through
                         moonlight
I look up
and drink in the milk
of the stars

I am ready.
to break through
time and space
mini-novas flying
'round my head
like spinning angels
iridescent dust,  
rising in slow motion
dragonfly confetti
in my hair
eyes a-light from
aurora borealis

Vulnerable by choice,
I stand my ground
push through rope and burlap
without mercy, for
burns do not matter
                       anymore
explode up and out
my soul's entry parts
wide open
I welcome the universe
letting the growing
inside, taking force
having its way with me
spidery vines twirling through
my ribcage
around my spine
the seeds I have planted
now pushing flowerbursts
through my heart
a bloom
for each beat
reflecting magenta

I had been sitting there
way too long
bound to this chair
my arms pinned harshly
by the wire
now I run with
my private wolf
head back
howling like the
wind,
hair wild
like the untamed
               journey
of my
                  soul

A certain spring has been
emboldened
buds open
with tender care
as the tiniest of shoots
grace the branches
of my heart
fragile yet steady
I wish to coax you out
of your spiral
keep it on slow burn
show you
how to embrace the dark
I beckon you
to the open fields
to lay amongst tall grasses
and look into my eyes
unlock the secrets
to my heart
to tap that quiet wilderness
you are building
with a bang
and a spark
You boast unexpected
naughtiness
that melds with my
sass and *****
at the same time
there are mysteries
as yet unsolved
Yes, this trip
could get interesting
In the meantime
what I wish
for you to hear
my lips dare not say
because on the eve
of this new
venture…
I just
want you
to stay

On the outer
carapace of it,
     all seems ok
I am held
together by
single dry thre
                        a ds
like wire
and strips of
sinews
they keep me
tightly-wrapped,
a package of
molten powders
secret dynamite
waiting to
    e x p l o d e  in
exotic ticks
      of clockwork
but one scratch
beneath the surface
reveals my
inner truth:
How I wish,
by those
whorled and spiraled
powers above,
for the gently fluted
forces of my being
to be parted
like sacred seawater
with my psyche
   f l o a t i n g
just beyond
the zing of
       my brain,
no rational
           understanding
required
yes. I long
to be ever-slowly
           unraveled,
layer by layer
cell by cell
until all that is left
are the platelets
pulsating between
this heart
           and yours
each beat
betraying an
acute intensity
of how
I felt it,
      this tender
electricity
that crackled
        through and
                 between
            our bones
          from the
        very
      beginning
of
    our quiet blaze
our pinnacle
our quirky
metallic
     textures
our breath
mingling over
airwaves
         in heated
                 fluidity
   hotly drenched
in the iridescent
  dust of our
     star-marked
                     time

Take my face
between your palms
look into my eyes
and read me
let my mind imprint yours
emblazen you with  
naughty, loving thoughts
let the steam curl
up into your brain
get you high
Put your lips
on me
give me words
from your tongue
let me write on your skin
with mine
Embolden me
let the light from your
poet's eyes
inject and trip my mind

Then, knowing I am yours
feeling sure

Release me
Let me run
Let me shed inhibitions to the wind
Let them fly
As streamers of light
For I am blessed, today
I feel the power
of that untamed force
within

I have been left
            floating
     my arms out
in mid-action
as if to stop
what might have always
             inevitably come        
                   and I am dangling
above forest and brush
            above wild animals
          who look at me
in wonder
my goddess energy
in temporary shock
      my grief
billowing behind me
like an 18th century gown
in a black cloud of mourning
it threatens to
drown me completely
but my secret weapon
      is to let it ride its course
              to feel it in all intensity
For I know
this will pass
I will be ok
and so I let it go
untethered
like a river's rushing current
like a pocket of turbulence
like a storm that whips up,
engulfing quiet
in sudden froth
my hair flows
      like a manga warrioress,
about to strike
her revenge upon the Earth
rage in arrows that pummel
your confused, bruised heart
where truth hides
within layers
upon layers of
     veiled
night air

Sometimes
we must open
words like
unexpected
            gifts,
unwrapping
them with
reverence
           and honor
gently removing
their layers
ever so gingerly,
       ******* their
                   meanings
with utmost care
so as not to disturb
them as they sleep
tiptoeing through
the house barefoot
in a gentle,
        sacred dance
letting each
tiny wisp
of meaning
        caress our cells
in white,
feathery
seedlings that
shimmy in the wind
      Other times
we must let
each letter
     kiss the air
around us
      in a frantic whizzing
and imprint itself
upon our hearts
as they beat
   Personally,
     I prefer
to just sit still
upon the sand,
right where tide
licks my feet
in between that
mystical space where
           ebb meets flow
in perfect, utter silence
Then, in meditation
            stance, fingers  
                    curved up,        
I am
           ready for that
liquid receiving
letting the waves
of verse and rhyme
wash right over me
my very molecules
taking them in,
salty sweet
        in most
              delicious
                           fusion
as abundance
and the convulsion
of ecstasy
whisper
        my name

there is a tree
growing in this
womb
its roots cracking
from fissured earth
the trunk, in layers
                    unwrapping
sprouting solid
from ancient rebirth
Breathing light
into branches,
unfurling -
not always
with ease, yet
always in a rising,
not always in comfort
but in the end
a widening,
        lit horizon
of past blood lining shed
of crimson cycles renewed
of old patterns,
            gone and dead
of mosaic seedlings strewn
and now before
sacred eyes
a photosynthesis occurs
revealing leaflets, tender
reaching into
grounded universe
I am a star-system
a stellar orbit landscape
a singing cosmic rune
a ring of phosphate fire
under tourmaline moon
rubies, garnets, onyx
all pouring from this
innermost, feminine cavern
liquid gold, in lava form
precious metals,
a righteous storm
wild dancers
around the blaze
swaying magic
in midnight haze
and here I stand,
in uterine gleam
the fruit of my soul
the queen
          of my
dream

There are days
when my soul feels
stretched out
like a ribbon
emotions
           hang
                  ing
from a thread
on the line,
like laundry, for
all to see, on pegs
vulnerable
           in storms
letting wind caress
and sometimes whip them
         round in beaten time
like a tempest
They tend to
get bruised, secretly
battered internally
as the surface of me smiles
and marches on
Vocal chords tightening
as the larynx longs
            in primal urge
     to take out the words
in one long
      graceful arc
             of purge
On these days I
need to sit
in the cloudforms
of my mind's eye
      and let myself feel
  what I cannot show:    
the daily coldness gnawing
    at my innards
      blow by icy blow
In these hours
I must let the tears
well up and run down
             until the sting of salt
penetrates the glacier
let the significance of
unspoken words
rise up from
the deep dermis layers
into my throat, my tonsils
up to the palate and tongue
               out through my lips
to the heavens,
releasing the unsung
         those words caught within
the walls of my neck -
they almost make me choke
exhaust contamination
from heavy, unseen smoke
  It billows up and out
and soon, like
hard-worked magic
this morse code is busted
because I am sick of feeling tragic
I command clear
communication
      to filter through
the spasms of fog
in drops of dew
I command my words to be heard
in tiny spikes of sun
And all the while
            in clear spirals,  
                    a prayer commences to
                        be spun:
for the harsh
               and bitter
be flushed out
             in unabated, icy rush
for my soul to rise up
           for the cleansing
in aching spirit blush
for the painfulness
of silence
to be ground out
upon the floor
for the shadows of
the violence
to be obliterated
to the
       core

Let my fingers
caress the wounds
of your chakras
in multicolored beams
                            of light
stroking the vibrations
Let me soothe and
lift them
to their peak
strengthen the strings
of violin tenacity
Let my third eye open
and meet yours
for a dance along
the astral plane
our gaze forever locking

For as it is now
we are restrained in our
rectangles of glass
boxes of electric ecstasy
beyond beautiful,
yet
what I would give
to lay one palm upon
your heaving chest
in fiery tender
To brush my lips
upon the tip of
your eyelashed ocean
yes
meet me
lash me to you
let me tremble
into the
humming of
our lips

Bring me forth
          from that nightflow
magnet for I
    have heard the calls
of my guardians
they have beckoned
                 me into a visionary stupor
pulled my head from the
           quicksand's mulch
my daily chores whirling
                         from my hands
             they are spinning me around
like a an electric charged
                   whirlpool of light
all objects caught up in
its path
             be they leaves
                              or rocks
or household appliances
and I am casting to hell
and highwater
            all of those warnings
as sacred adorations
nick into my solitude
I fling my demons to the skies
          release them to their
                              own salvation
I do not wish them before
                            my eyes
as I work my own deliverance
of beatitudes
   my own song of songs
spun into the glowing
Let them sputter and trip
over their words
           My inner hearing closes
upon their petty phrases as
they mouth them out of sync
             The path opens up before me
               as riverflow
                       in one graceful arc
Here I fight in my own
               siege of Orléans
No point in stopping me
because the vestige of
flickering truth is turning
into the solid molecules
                    of freedom's spark
right before
             your very eyes

I remember you
in shades of pseudo
toughness but really
inside sweet
a conglomeration
of rebel-quiet-luscious
flutter of Nordic
New York city eyelash
that fixed stare
strict leather
jacket flare
I loved your brashness
brazen statements
shooting from the hip
as you took your provocative
attitude stance
pouting fullness of lip
we listened to Patti Smyth
and Salem 66
"Wanderlust" curving
up my spine
tension building
in your room
as you stared at me
looked away
each subtly
heated time
your eyes found me
my pulse quickened
in shy leaps
I did not understand
my own feelings
only when
you finally kissed me
did my world spin on its axis
and I understood
that love goes far beyond
what  they say
it should
curve of waist
and gentle ***** of breast
under men's shirts
revealed
only then did I understand
who I am
and how that
fresh snap
of breaking boundaries
feels

I brandish
my sword
don my
war boots
Yes
This is a battle
and I
am set
on winning

You will
not push
me aside,
No.
This
does not
happen.
Good girls
Also
Speak out
we fight
for our
rights
more than
you know
And we are
Hell-bent
on getting
our way
We glide
in the air
as samurais
and take
what is ours
rightfully
often in quiet
heated flair
And you
My warrior
Of light
And darkness
I take back
what you took
from me
I claim
my rights
to love you
yet
choose
when this
will be

..and we can only give
what we can give.
I opened myself
and handed it to you
in trust
peeled back the layers
of onionskin
as they fell
upon the ground.

My heart,
in shining pieces,
glows like diamonds
fresh from the earth
raw, rough
yet ever-true
pumping blood and lust
giving it so darkly
yet with infinite light.
My heart, yes, my heart
Only this
is what I have
to give to you.

How I wanted
          to catch
the pulses of light
to cup them in my hands
and hold them
like precious chalices
made of fine materials.
Yet they seem to have passed
so **** quickly
along the overhead beams
like a conveyor belt
in a love factory.
How I wanted
             to capture
their flames
like fireflies in a jar
so many points of luster
an inner glowing
up into the realms of faith
of wisdom
of kindness
of pleasure
How I wanted
          to light you up
and be lit from within
for our points of darkness
to meet and explode
as shooting stars
bound for the same orbit
expanding until they could
enfold it all.

Now
it is up to me.
I must calm
the heart and mind
caught up
in turbulence,
storms of inner fires
I must calm the winds
lest my deepest self
blow away
I must save myself
before morning
and let sleep caress
my inner wounds
let the bounds of
lovingness
forgive me
as I forgive myself
for loving.

Sometimes,
in the Land of Dreams
I can see my own karma
a flicker
of flame
like those ashes that shoot up
from a summer bonfire.
Tiny lick of a second
Before it fades
I reach out to capture it
like a firefly in a jar,
But with a kiss of white heat
It is gone.

Sometimes
in another land
I am an archeologist
digging deep into the Earth
uncovering secrets
revealing artifacts.
Looking for the bones
of my past existence.
Searching for selves
I cannot remember
In order to  hold them
Up to the
Light.
Then after digging,
behold the curious sight:
Me, on the earth, on my knees
mouth open in amazement…
for instead of bones
I have found fire opals
slipping and sliding through my fingers
Cool and smooth
glowing in the night
their brilliant iridescence
lighting up my palms
like a dance of fireflies.

And then,
A most peculiar event;
A hot crimson glow
Emanates from inside, above
And below


Could it be?
Is this real?
I check once, then twice
Yes, my very bones
have turned into opals
Making me gleam from within
Sending out messages of light
Into the full dark
Of the deepening night
Trying to catch a signal
in the air
crackling along those roots
hardwired within .
Roots, like bones.
Growing deep into the earth
where precious stones reside
I am at a loss for words,
just feelings now
and have completely
forgotten my pride.

And  I stand there,
in contemplation,
all lit up from within
radiating light
unto every direction...
I think:
"This is the place to begin."

And all at once
in the blink of an eye
the opals pour from me
right out
And as those fine stones
slip from my bones
I know I have changed
both within
and without
the fire implanted inside
never to go out

Why sleep
        when the words
             are running through
       the maze of my mind
gushing up through
my pores
     in liquid divine
Why sleep
      if my fingers could
           be interlocked with yours
wrists pinned
    our legs a-tangle
          souls wrapped
             around each other
                    like the crush of
                    viscous silk
my breath
          entering you
                  with the purity
           of the most nourishing,
                            ink-stained milk
How on earth to sleep
when this wild restlessness
electrifies my bones
makes me roam into
     the caverns of deep
            as the rushed heat
          disintegrates my clothes
             my inner loneliness
holds me in the night
spoons me for comfort
cups my ******* hard from behind
grips my throat
and squeezes me
with its presence
crushes my heart
with its emptiness,
                   its ghostly weight
tries to steal my breath
attempts to control
my fate

And I do not let it
No way
           hell no
I will fight this
to the end
I will keep myself alive
and my soul will wander
through the night air
my womb
will search
for her home
as the blood spills
from the tip of my pen
and my heart beats
in lit
darkness,    
      alone

You touched my clavicle
and all was electricity
my bones humming
my blood a rush
You said, "Hey, let's glide
through this beauty
in the way only we
know how"
It felt right to me
so I took your hand
and put it where the heart
meets explosions
and we ran into the burning,
ourselves a wildfire,
pouring cups of
that exclusive
homemade magic
and lifting it to each other's lips
arms raised to
the crash of skies

Somewhere between exalted ****
and archangel,
I slide between your cracks
melt down your shadows
heat your bones into
gentle soup
take your froth
and spread it like cream
over my peaks
And you, just looking at me
with that adoring gaze
You teach me
what love is

Deep inside,
it is about to burst out
to come up through
my skin
Flowers weaving through
my ribcage
my lungs, breathing
cannot stop them
as they wind their way
and push through
An entire garden
growing in my heart
I am ready, so ready
for the next, most
beautiful part
Irises, roses, hyacinth
flourish in full bloom
Crocus bluebell coxcomb...
They burst their colors,
making room

Take me to a higher place,
let me give of myself fully
Let this love wash over me
in a sacred river's rush
let inner joy course through my veins
let me open myself to trust
I want its head to rear up
petals to burst open
as the stamen stands with pride
This will come
it will happen soon
For there is nothing more
to hide

My heart
     unpeels itself
in slow motion
    ribbons elegantly drift
  to the floor
once again  I am entrapped
           in a butterfly dance  
as I move towards connection
         entrapped in a cage
of my own building
           stewn all over
like carnival confetti
         utter joy at the beginning
a true celebration
        and then…the explosion
a fissured opening as
painful as a birth
I am all at once
A part of the cracked
                 and steaming earth
In the darkest corners of my mind,
I search rooms at a
mysterious party
as if in a dream
Who do I look for?
I pass each space
Couples on beds
   in their thrusts of passion
beckon me to join
Despite my burning up
I ignore
I know that I must reach
The open field
  sit in sweet solitude
place my hands upon the runes
of my heart
explore its mysteries
and then
only after I am sated
by my own passionate
embrace of mind
only then,
with fire in my eyes,
will I be able
to run freely
to you

in the icy swirl
          of deep-inhale
            I reach down inside
                      to darkest
       heated flesh-fabric
removing the clothing
of my soul,
feeling the layers
                slowly  undone
                      the flay
                        of my own fleece
                          the peeling
                    of my own pelt
            penetrating
                through tissue,
                     a journey to the
                          deep heart of me,
                         cut in one clean move
                         and yet, like a miracle
                  there is
             no pain
                   just magnet-connect
                     beyond the cusp
                            of words
                              that curl from our
                                             tongues
                                      rising up in
                      latticed affirmations
                    a cleansing in frost
a constant, aquamarine renewal
and there is no past
no future
      just this prism
           of crystal liquid jewels
      flowing in
gentle,
         cellular music
             straight into the strands        
                    of our veins
and I miss you
like you have gone
on the long winter hunt
my longing splayed out
like an animal skin on
                    four poles
its tendons stretched
beyond measure
yet holding fast
with a roof over my head,
                    I acknowledge
             my restlessness
I am my own
       hunter-forager,
         both searching and found,
                     gathering up bits  
               of velocity
stroking the ribbons
of passion
stoking the fires of my
              heart and hearth
protecting what is us
like a lioness
for we are overflowing
with both strength
         and tenderness
              our own bones
ingredients of the wild soup              
of our feral union
of our constant rebirth
our very dna
          weaving itself
like heartstrings
               in the rush      
of
       time

I am trying
to flush you
out of my system
like a drug addict
I am in withdrawal
Every sentence
you whispered to me
every word
of love
imprinted upon
my heart's walls.
I am remembering
the intimate talks
under the stars
on those private
night walks
in the cool
dark air
that soothed
and excited
my burning heart
as secrets and confidences
we did share

As I think of
the sound of your voice
I also know deep inside
That there was a risk
in my secret choice
a danger of loss did abide
for I have others to think of
and that was
too difficult for us
to bear
Yet whilst I realize
that this decision
is wise
the heart is
still prone
to tear.

O comfort me, winds from above
Let me heal from
this burning love
Let the power of
my being
Release my pain
And be so
freeing
I raise my arms
in supplication
I let the calming
night air
rock me to sleep
under Orion's belt I wander
thinking of healing
emotions so deep
soothing my heart
soothing my soul
filling the wound
with a poultice
to seep

And I know
that in my mourning
a lesson will be learned.
Perhaps inside
a small voice of warning
to ensure that
in the future
I will not be burned.
I will feel passion
with joy
and wonder
but make sure
to choose wisely
before it gets deep
to keep my heart
from being pulled a-sunder
to keep my eyes
from wanting to weep.
I will walk through life
and enjoy it
Take it by the horns
And celebrate its fire
I will feed my intelligence
with fodder
of poetry and music
feed my soul
with love and desire
I will strive for perfection
and be a good woman
a great mother
yet never give up
on my dreams
and when needed
I will call upon
divine intervention
to bathe me
in the
sacred light
of its
comforting
beams

take me
to the
space where
the  magnets of
                  our souls
rise up in mad thunder
sadness pushed
right out of stratosphere
a tidal wave rush,
       no warning--
as flames seep
through our skin
the burn cleansing
those cracked cuts
                          of glass,
searing granules of pain
that foam up
             from our pasts
and our wounds
get so pumped up
with love
       they bloom exotic
into
      floral entities
curious and strong
offbeat shapes
of undefined texture-
yet they suit us,
each throbbing petal
      intoxicated in
endorphin glow,
         softening as
tender eyefuls
of kisses embed
themselves in
our torrid earth

I will wrap my tendrils
                       around you
I will carry us, freshly seeded
   through these aching,
whipped-up winds
I will follow the arcs
  of aurora borealis
         beatific crystalline
I will let the wings beat
fast and full,
as they are meant to
I will release the
quicksand haze
of heaviness
that sometimes consumes us
and unravel depths
of the chaos within
In the meantime
just underneath,
a mere scratch
   under surface
a width of a molecule
from the pulse of skin
roars the breath of
            eternal blaze
etched in the silent layers
of your
              tattooed gaze
inked upon my essence
           in ancient runes
carved upon my heart
my quivering thighs,
a bond sealed in blood
and lingering sighs
Under dark rocks
rays of prismatic
                     rainbows
burst forth
unexpectedly,
        in phosphorescent miracle
release us from
our caged-up fury
Liquids morph into solid,
still iridescently fluvial
I reach out to you
pour fire
       in your veins,
for you are
      my Light
ebullating our souls
in healing trance
through the
       restless echoes
of
      night

I want you
like I long
for a return
to myself
as if
to enter
my own
psyche in a
a single lit-up
journey, its
incandescence
led only by
pure breath alone
thoughts out of
bounds as
they fly off
unknown
into the night,
fulfilling
thick waves of desire
dreams in vibrations
love in realms
      higher
the cells weaving skin
go so much deeper
a craving for
a force
uncontrollably sweeter
and I know
that I am intense
with it, like that
but I would not
want it
any other way
for in this
weightiness of emotion
it's the weightlessness
       that stays
a breaking down
of barriers
that ultimately leads
to letting ourselves
open like blossoms,
to see and to be seen
for what is
heaven
but a soul recognition
revealing innermost depths
by our own volition
It is a return
to the lull
of the subaqueous rhythms
to the instincts of pre-birth
          of subconscious decisions
blood knots twisted
                     into the cord
                               of the heart
                       linking its beats
                     to a light-infused
                  spark
sealing the deal
without drowning,
your heart beats into mine
soul within soul
in connection, divine
For the inner eyes
              see in colors
beyond usual hues
and from my
innermost womb
shines a most
beautiful
                  view