This is a poem about an
Unfinished love affair --

Like the bottle of milk left
Overnight by the counter
Where we kissed for the

First time.

Like the fruits on the table
turned sour.
I remember what you said
when I saw you for the

Last time.

(dear darling I am so sorry
For my wrong do doings)
(thank you my angel my sugar
My love my regret)

But you do not understand
And never will
That I did this for myself
And never you.

I watch your hands
As they touch things--
(swirl a pen,turn a page)
And recall how heavy they were
When you held me
Tentatively, wonderfully, fearfully
Like an unripe peach, a lotus bud,
How you did with me things
You couldn't do alone.
And your hands still move as if
Still promising to do the same for me.
And I thought: be still, my heart
Time makes excuses for itself.
Then feel, with a slight tenderness
And a drag of regret,
This lost love.

you who sit huddled away from me
retreating into a home not home
a warmth not desired by any chamber in your heart and freezing mine you who were born some three hundred days before me yelling with your infant breath the fate of me of you of us you who stare intently passing torrents of electrifying passion through the fluid remains of my soul and
you who possess a playful tenderness an animalistic wildness a maturity not yet attached onto the cold of your skull what is
the shade of your lips and the shape of your teeth and the indentations of your heart?
I long to know the intricacies the curvature of your inch by inch holding up in my two hands as if handling a museum and tell you softly whispering on the lobe of the ear my dreams my hopes my insatiable desire to be yours

Tear down my skin and I am a piece of white flesh
Cut me and you will find darkness
Reek of pink champagne and blood
And a smell of desire and greed
Slice me on my lips and you will find
Coldness. Steel fingers and plated heart
And still i bleed
Down the sides of my mouth and from all ways i bleed
***** breaths and i melt into
A muddy concoction of emptiness.
Burn me into nothing but flesh and blood and i shall rise like  dust i rise
Like the smoke i rise
And like your heartbeat i stay alive.

You were freer than a free verse
And even sonnets could not keep you.

Tonight we got drunk on papayas,
Sitting on the sidewalk sipping
drinks, careless laughter
exploding from our mouths when
the moon split itself
Down our throats. In the messy
medley of the night I felt you on

my skin, remember:

How I lost myself in the fine lines
Of your lips where you claim
Your flaws fall into.

How I tried to swallow them like
apricots and how - in almost exact reciprocation
Of the same passion -
your eyelid moves which say:
I love you as much as I love God.

You are four light years away
And tonight I got drunk on papayas.

This is not a poem because
Sonnets could not keep you safe
And free verses compete but lose
Their flame, for

Like a landslide you let love slide,
I let love leave then.

I look at you on the sofa.
Lying there all young, healthy
And warm, and I don't just want you
In the obvious sense; I want your
Liver, kidneys, flat stomach, strong,
Long, young legs.
Frankenstein's parts-storage
I want your youth.  

I can't have it. I can't take it
And have it. Angry. I want to
Kick your ***, but not really.
I want your mouth to
Expell something
Other than this
Teenage girl
Chatter.

I want to hit your pretty face
With all of my one-third-life-crisis-
Frustration behind it
With a pillow.
Eat feather, child!
Chew cotton!
Munch goose!

Straight left-straight right.
I have fought men
Twice my size,
I'll beat you up
Until you
Suffocate
And surrender
From
Laughing
So
Hard.

We'll meet again
Behind the sunset
The light of dawn
The hues of blue and pink
We'll meet again

We'll meet again
Behind a bookshelf
Behind a swinging door
Behind your eyelid moves
I see you and
We'll meet again

And when we meet again
Tell me how you feel
When we meet again