I stopped writing for a while

before that I stopped drawing
before that I stopped making videos
before that I stopped crocheting
before that I stopped reading
before that I stopped something else

I'm left to wonder
if I keep stopping
when will I run out of things to stop

I stopped leaving my bed if I can help it
and I stopped caring too much about it

I stopped writing for a while
but I'm trying to start again
it's been a while since I've had a start
maybe just starting is the hardest part

(In Memory of J. W. T. Jr.)

He was a soldier in that fight
Where there is neither flag nor drum,
And without sound of musketry
The stealthy foemen come.

Year in, year out, by day and night
They forced him to a slow retreat,
And for his gallant fight alone
No fife was blown, and no drum beat.

In winter fog, in gathering mist
The gray grim battle had its end—
And at the very last we knew
His enemy had turned his friend.

i tried to write a poem
i've been trying for a while
to write the ways in which you always
seem to make me smile

i've tried to tell our stories
through the medium of rhyme
but every time i start to type
the words fall out of time

it's always been so simple
i can write when i feel wrong
but it all seems so unnatural
now i feel like i belong

i don't think i can do it
'cause i don't know where to start
so if i see you in my poems
it will mean you broke my heart.

Remember our walks in the park, how I ran from you and you chased me and I have never played such an exquisite game of tag. Remember the laughter, the summer skies and sunsets, the way I link my arm to yours like a crisscross safety net that never said forever but almost
Remember my secrets, how I have them all to you and how I took apart my pride piece by piece
I put my shield in the paper shredder and I said "there I'm naked, ask me anything" and you asked me what I was afraid of and I was afraid of losing you but I said I was afraid of spiders
Remember the first time you held me, drunk and stupid on a front porch in the rain it was approximately one in the morning and I whispered I love you under my breath and you didn't hear me but looking back I wish you did
At that point I had already started writing about you and I guess you had been looking for ways to escape
Remember the dark, remember me kissing you back while you threw up everything you couldn't take in your cup anymore
Remember sitting in the corner of a coffee shop and you were trying to your work but love gets in the way of that sometimes and I was reaching under the table. Remember the laughter.
Remember dancing around my room to your favorite song about me. Remember the laughter.
Remember going swimming in full clothes, it was so cold and it was so peaceful and playful. Remember the laughter.
Remember the staying up all night getting high, playing music loud, and you couldn't keep still, remember the laughter.
Remember lying in bed, drunk and I couldn't see straight and you could see right through me, remember when I went swimming and you watched me.
Remember going walking, and you loved to play soccer and I tried but I was no good, remember the laughter
Remember the late night phone calls, rambling about our days, about our family, about our favorite memories with one another, remember the laughter that bled through the phone
Remember when I called you crying choking on my words and we went back to the same coffee shop where I fell in love with you and we got a free coffee
Remember asking me to homecoming, remember showing me your new guitar, remember listening to the song I wrote about you, remember showing me the song you wrote about her
Remember me as best you can
Don’t forget about it all
Don’t forget about me