Sometimes tears,
Are like walking through raindrops,
They hit you,
But they run off,
A few cling to you,
But not for long,
And you know that soon,
They'll dry.

But sometimes tears,
Are like walking through puddles,
That soak through your shoes,
Get your socks wet,
Keep your feet cold,
And won't go away,
Until you get inside,
And pull off your shoes,
And your socks,
And walk bare-footed,
Until they dry,
And you can face the storm,
Another time.

"you're my siren,"
he confessed to the hollow of my neck.
"each kiss is a song,
and i would swim across
the entire ocean
to hear every note."

I wish to be a statue
Frozen for a moment
For an eternity
Beautiful
And lifeless
And hard
Enduring
Strong in all the ways I'm not
And unfeeling
Untouched by tedious things
As emotions
Love, pain
It's all the same
Bouncing off my shell
Like beads of rain
I feel nothing
The weather may move me
The weather may change me
The weather may destroy me
But the weather is kind
Maybe this time when I fall apart
I won't feel anything

*Marble Eyes Will Never Cry

For so long I had been suffocating
I forgot what it felt like to be able to breathe
I looked to the sky and in the orange hues of sunset
I found my freedom
And in the crisp night air
I found my soul
Even contained within the confines of my car
I could feel the vastness of the Earth
And it's heartbeat reverberated up
Through the mountains
Through the pavement
Through the tires of my car
And kept my own heart beating
And I thought to myself
"This is what is means to be alive."
And maybe for the first time, I truly was.

I gave up my voice
To make you happy
Maybe if I'm silent
I can pretend nothing's wrong

"You're such a fish out of water"
You say
"No one else would want you"
I believe

I used to love singing
Until you told me my voice was flat
I keep my mouth closed these days
"Silence is fine," I tell myself

I used to take walks on the beach
When I was young
That's where we met

I haven't been to the beach in a while
Now, for some reason,
The smell of the salt air
Makes my stomach turn
And the sound of the waves
Makes me flinch

It's fine, though.
Everything's fine.

You always spoke too fast,
And then stopped yourself, apologizing
Mumbling now
You always danced much longer than everyone else at the parties
Did you ever think you'd make it out alive?
I wish the answer was yes
((Even though I knew better))
You always stayed in bed for far too long
And cried much too hard
And loved people who couldn't feel the same
It started to wear on you,
Funny what love can do
It fades
Or did it never exist?
Why am I here? You asked me
You asked me often
I answered the same each time
'You and the universe are the same, and we need you here'
Maybe it wasn't good enough,
Maybe it was my fault,
Maybe It was my fault
You're breathing faster now
I try to calm you down,
It never works,
It never works
I got angry,
Impatient
Maybe it was my fault-
Is my fault
I don't know how to write anymore
Your hands always guided mine,
Your hands don't exist anymore
You always played your music too loud,
You were only yourself while you were drowning your thoughts out with song
People would yell at you,
And I'd try to sing along
Maybe I didn't sing loud enough
I'll never forget the day you turned your music off,
Both literally and figuratively
An allegory,
Or is it irony?
I don't know anymore
I remember you laying in the wooden bed-
Box
Skin soft, artificially pink
I showed up to your wake, drunk
((Wasn't much of a surprise, was it?))
You'd always told me that you would be the first one to go
Sadly it was true,
Should've been me
I punish myself everyday for it-
Trust me
I showed up drunk
Funny how my veins were filled with the same poison that killed you
Maybe I subconsciously meant to do that
I showed up drunk
I jumped in and tried to resuscitate you,
They dragged me out and gave me this look
This disgusted, disappointed look
And I realized that's how people have been looking at you your entire life,
And I finally understood
They threw me out and I fell to my knees
I understood why you took the blade
Took the blade to your--
I saw you laying in that box,
And wondered where your soul was
I remember those nights,
I remember those late nights
Clutching each other in the cold
Wanting out of this town,
Of this world
I stayed
You relied so heavily on me and
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry I couldn't stop you from lifting the bottle to your lips,
The blade to your wrist,
The gun to your mouth,
I'm sorry I couldn't quiet your thoughts
Now I know how evil they were
I'm sorry I couldn't stop you from lifting the bottle to your lips,
The blade to your wrist,
I made a home in your veins
so when you cut them,
I died with you
I fell to my knees and finally understood