if roots can wait,
beneath the earth,
for a rain they cannot live without.

and if the stars wait,
lingering in dusk,
just to see the moon once more.

then i,
full of burning ache,
can wait too.

I will wait for you.

why do i always have to fall in love with the people who will never love me

being lonely is different
then being alone

you can be lonely while surrounded by people
but to be alone is to be truly by yourself

and when you are truly alone
the worst kind of lonely sets in

books books books
such a wonderful way to escape
the crisp scent of a fresh book
pages upon pages
drifting into other worlds
so much better than reality
dragons and unicorns and demons
are a better alternative
than the boring normal world
libraries are a comfort
so quiet and filled with books

I'm sorry
There was a time for okay
This is the time for okay
I will **** myself and that's okay
You will move on and that's okay
You will all thrive and that's okay
You will all move on and that's okay
You will be okay
I'm sorry

I still remember
the first time
I thought about death.

Or— dying, in itself.

I remember
how my hands
gripped the wooden handle,
little fingers
trembling
from the intensity.

I was—
quite literally,
holding on
for life.

I remember
how curious
I was—
how my thoughts
raced
for endless miles.

What would happen to me?
Would it be messy?
How would it feel?
How bad does it hurt?
Would anyone miss me?
Am I too young?
Will it get better?

And so,
I put away the knife.

I climbed to the top
of my bunk bed,
each step heavy,
like I was
clinging to life.

And I continued
my cartoons.

I wish you would call
even just to
say
nothing at all