Loneliness is found
58 minutes later
In the arms of a stranger
Wearing what's left of a hiked up dress
Biting down on a down pillow case
Just to ******* own emptiness

Tell me, tell me all about it
Tell me all my wrongs
I'll take whatever weight I've been gifted
Lift it, mesmerize the script and just spit it

And if you're willing
To follow this feeling
Then you can have what I've got left
It isn't much
But a touch is still a touch
Even in times when I don't feel enough
Burning just to burn bright
Lie to me and tell me it's all right

© 2014 Peach

but I will miss
writing
in the afterlife.

it was the only way
I could slice open my veins
and bleed out my words
without making a mess.

I pride myself by my addictions.
The deaths I should have had would make me immortal by default.
And still, I breathe and scoff at it's lagging effects.
You can't have me.
I lay awake alone and thoughtful,
I answer your call at a moments notice.
I leave you be whenever you're done and continue to indulge my thoughts,
You can't have me.
I mark myself as a timeline is marked with lines and events.
My scars could tell a story that I would only know the punchline to.
I color my skin with fantasy and ink to hide the other uglies I make,
You can't have my stories...they're mine.
If I were to smile upon greeting then I would have already lied to you.
If I were to kiss you then you would have fallen.
I pride myself by my addictions and you cannot be one of them.
You can't have my love.
I'll give you a laugh and company without expectations of it being returned.
I'll give you my time and a kind deed or two.
I'll give you a friendship and a wall to hide behind.
Just be warned, you'll want more
And I will not oblidge.
You cannot want me because I don't want you.
Or anything.
I will not take your sympathy or your truth.
I will not take your heart or your push.
I will take your body and your smell
But ******* was never love
And shame on you for not knowing the difference.
I can take your ****** but You can't have my trust.
Now you turn to me with inclinations that I have misled you.
The hurt on your face leaves me annoyed and impatient.
The effects of my drug and my addtictions take hold
And I leave you talking to a corpse that has no use for words.
The dead are silent and patient and will never talk back.
They always wait their turn and never take it.
They limply create a warm illusion
But they're colder and colder with each toss of sound.
You cannot make me warm...the others guys took it from me long before you.
So let it take me back into the ground.
Leave me buried and I'll leave you alive.
A fair trade in my book.
The moment you try to be my savior
Will be the moment I will become your destroyer.
You cannot have my soul, it was mine to lose in the first place.

So you want to **** me?
Does my consent only require me to be paralyzed?
So high off the ground and out of my mind
I'm sure I'm asking for it anyways.
So you think I'm helpless?
As an eleven year old it's easy to dismiss.
The struggle only make your muscles tense
And tightens the thirst that I do not want to quench.
So you want my virginity?
Well Sir, get in line.
What you think is there is already lost
And my innocence is on a replaying loop.
It stops when you take it from me.
Starts again when you're done.
So you're too inebriated and stumbling
To be accountable for what you want?
You're shocked when I assume the position
And simply give up a ****.
You think it keeps me up at night?
You think I waste a thought on who goes in and out?
You think I waver at every touch
Assuming it's the first I've felt?
You want it to be special?
You want it to be pure?
You want me to feel some pleasure
Aligned with ******* for your thrill?
You want me to be dizzy?
You want me to be lost?
I've made my bed and you've thrown me down
Upon the screeching springs.
In theory I play the *****
The freak in the sheets that everyone adores.
You take me once and then you want more.
Well have it all for all I care.
Between my legs or in the air.
Against the wall or in a chair.
Boy, I'd ******* anywhere.
As long as there's a focal point
To direct my glass like stare.
I'll take your mind to a thrilling place
But don't expect me to be there.
I'm the one girls whisper about.
The glory **** in which they clench their teeth.
The ***** with absolutely no back door shyness,
The girl that your man wanks off to before he sleeps.
Most would take pride in this.
Most would wear it with a grin.
Most wouldn't even give a ****
Just before they're about to give in.
As for me, I simply tolerate.
Everyone is a predator.
Their intentions can always wait,
Till they pounce and tear and fornicate.
Not all of them walk away.
Not all of them always stay.
Not a simple word to say
After they've achieved their fantasy lay.
So come at me with what you think I crave.
Force me down and spread my legs.
The little girl in my head is away
As I assume she won't ever return this way.
So you want to **** me?
Well, tell me something new.
It's not something to be taken as offense
But I've ****** myself over enough
To enjoy that ******* truth.

before I run out of falling space I just wanted to tell you that it wasn't your fault.