It's not you I mourn
But the loss of your desire
You used to hold my eyes with yours
Then you had to forgo your love
Of which , I foolishly tried to regain
A love that you had cast aside
I realize now to recaptivate your heart
Was not a wild dream , but a futile one
I looked for every cause, that it could be
I  tried to blame it on evil tongues
But now , I thankfully know, that you
Yes you, Could not bear to hurt me more
By saying to me,
'You no longer belong to my heart'

Another day for Jonathon James
Eyes open in tiny smokey slits
Hoping , all day will stay in gloom
One drink did this to his head

Yeh one more drink than eight
Just one little drink couldn't wait
To split his stupid ***** head
Chaining him to his lazy bed

He dares not smoke his last cigarette
In case he coughs away his heart
And his fat head leaves his body
Looking up from beneath his bed

Ha has to make a few little steps
He has a crying desperate need
When he does , he'll feel so dizzy
But away from his bed he must go

He needs to build his caffeine level
But wonders how it will be done
Then he turns to the noise at the door
And in comes coffee on a tray

He and his girlfriend Joanna May
Sit up together slurping away
The day's getting better and better
Another day for Jonathon James.

I sat on the suspended bench
Charlotte on one side of me
And George upon the other
Leslie they both said to me
At exactly the same time
Why is it we seem so safe up here
Ah Ah I said secretly to them
It's because we three are special
Why special they both said
Because magic is here with us
The other day a princess was born
A little sister for her brother
Oh they said sounds good to us
Will we ever meet them both
Yes said I when the two of you
Stand before a mirror in a palace.

Apparentely
After a high powered bullet
Has entered your brain
You'll feel the pain
For the rest of your life

Today I was walking
Away from the café
Of internet usage
Where one can't get a coffee
When I saw a good friend
Without his cancer ridden wife
Who is wheelchair bound

He gave a big smile to me
Of which I readily returned
Somehow though he'd shrunk
Not quite his normal self
As we neared, he told me
She had died the other day
In quite a quavery voice
My heart went out to him

I couldn't help but say
'Okay if I hug you'
I did so without awaiting a reply
He said 'You are making me cry'
As I am right now , writing this
But like him, it had to come out.

Feet slosh in watery boots
Squelch is my sad music
Stink is what I'm made of
And others by my side
Fear is my companion
So through and through
Every day and every night
Every shell my night mare
Some friends are no more
As I'm here before sunrise
Awaiting the dread whistle
Rifle clutched in shaky hands
I think of my sweetheart Mary
To whom I shall be wedded
Of my brothers and sisters
Father and dear old mam
All too soon , I'll be over the top
Throwing fear to another place
Anytime now we'll be on our way
I hope I'll let no one down.

Back into our first love
Is where I want to be
Your smile in my eyes
My smile shining back
Our hearts are as one

My tingling lips await
For yours upon mine
Making my heart flow
With a love so strong
That I will surely burst
Oh my love , my love

It will not be so long
For our arms to entwine
Caress, oh sweet caress
Will be ours to share
Every hour of our day
Back into our first love.

Back into our first love
Is where I want to be
Your smile in my eyes
My smile shining back
Our hearts are as one
Is where I want to be

My tingling lips await
For yours upon mine
Making my heart glow
With a love so strong
That I will surely burst
Oh my love, my love

It will not be so long now
For our arms to entwine
Caress , oh sweet caress
Will be ours to share
Every hour of our day
Back into our first love.

They're coming, they're coming
Running, jumping, and floating
Zooming, racing and abseiling
JUST A DOGGARN MINUTE
These are not for sleeping
They're are not very woolly
And not going over fences
They're going into my mind
What are these varmints
I know , yes , I know
These are words, sentences
Paragraphs , and silly ideas
But they'll not help me to sleep
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Can you remember
When we were lovers
Not so long ago
Holding hands
Whenever we could
Never wanting
To let go

Can you remember
How strong our love was
Not so long ago
Loving looks
Sharing delight
In everything
We did

Can you remember
Where our love went
Not so long ago
Finding fault
Where none did lie
Not caring
For what we had

Can you remember.

As I write this
Tears
Tickle my eyes
Just heard
And seen
All by myself
I blow a cool blow
I shake my head
In wonderment
Escaping tears
Running down my cheeks
Her song
Is still inside
I don't want
To let go of this song
I need
Oh yes
I need
To hear it again
So I shall.

Could you dream
Your way into my life
Could you
Climb into my awaiting heart
Could you live
With trembling moments
Could you try
To calm me down
Could you go
To almost any length
Could you take
My rough and smooth
Could you give
When I don't deserve
Could you feel
My great intent
Could you cope
With my ups and downs
Could you read
My great many poems
If you could
I would be yours.

Did you
Have to do this
Did you
Have to do that
Did you
Think of my hurt
Did you
Think of us
Of us
Did you
Think I'm strong
Did you
Think I don't cry
Did you
Did you
Yes I cry
I cry
I cry
Yes I cry.

Different pictures
Painted now
Colours changing
Day by day
Gallery opening
Then closed shut
Why this paint brush
Why not that
Lines of nonsense
Lines of life
Lines of mind
Blocked in features
Shaded in green
Purple brainwaves
Sprouting out
Shooting at stars
Glistening bright
Sure as blackholes
Through the night
Mixed in mixers
Gaudy blue head
Curdled red spots
Why not you
Spray on graffiti
Lost on trains
Found by a policeman
Without dreams
Softly softly
Turn out the light
Dream a little
Wake up bright

Don't look into my heart
There's nothing there to see
It's just an empty shell
For all eternity

Oh Susie Oh Susie
I'm so missing your love
Aching , hurting, crying
I'm so missing your love

Don't look for my smile
It's hiding upside down
Never to be seen again
Trying to hide the clown

Oh Susie Oh Susie
I'm missing your love
Aching, hurting, crying
I'm missing your love

Don't look for who I am
Not even in my passport
I'll never be the same
Adding total up to nought


Oh Susie Oh Susie
I'm missing your love
Aching , hurting, crying
I'm missing your love

Don't look into my heart
There's nothing there to see
It's just an empty shell
For all eternity

Do you know
Do you
Know
What you've done to me
Do you
Do you know
What it's like inside
It's
Tormented hell
Memories destroyed
Lifeline gone
No cruising ground
Hanging on
Just finger tips
Where do I go
When so afraid
Hiding
Yes hiding
Myself away
Scared
Yes
Scared to love again.

Coming into his station
Slowing right down
There he is standing
Outside my window
He gives me a smile
I give him one back
He's moving slowly
Towards the door
I sit remembering
Our bursting lust
Spread every where
Day after lovely day
No end in sight
I move my tight fist
Nails of a hornets bite
I touch the seat
I turn to my left
And gaze at emptiness
A cascade of tears
Avalanche down
My crumbling face
Trying to form icicles
On my wobbly chin
My great sob
Shattered the silence
Of the carriage.

I love you in every way
I want to squeeze you tight
Right throughout the night

All over and around
I love to hear your sound
I want to love you tight
Hold you with all my might

Keep me in your arms
Fill me with your charms
Never throw me away
Don't ever stop your play.

Do they
Do they really see
The despair
Of
A broken heart
The torment
The empty hours
The doubt
Yes
The self doubt
The trudge
Of revisiting
For
No reason
Do
They really see it
No
They do not
For sorrow
Is only
Deep
Inside
Never
To been seen
By those eyes
.

Fade away  fade away
But don't fade out again
I don't know where I'm at
I've lost my  place
I've lost my niche
My corners occupied
She stood in the rain
Time going by so fast
Train left  on time
In the same dimension

Fading away
Fading away
But don't fade out again

I don't know why
It hurts so much
I don't know why
I'm losing touch
All of the things
She said to me
Was never meant
You can have my word
I trust you with my life
Left me twisted inside

You can have my cup
You can have my spoon
You can take my batman
And my star wars too

But don't fade out again

I feel emotion
Of what?
I know not
Deep so deep

A deep sob
From ?
Very low

My eyes awash
With these tears
I don't know why
I feel this way
It's so strong
This sorrow

I'm
crying now
So bad do I feel
What is it ?

Maybe we all
Have this unknown
I don't know why
A great pain

There's no reason
No reason at all
But it's got me
Helpless in its grip.

Freddy
Really
Ending
Dreams
Daily
Yours

Are
No
Different

Hopes
In
Safety

Not always
Allowed
In
Lost
Souls

All
Ready
Everyone

Wait
Awhile
I'm
Turning
Into
Nastiness
Grotesque­ly

First was my eldest sister
Of what , I knew not
She cried and cried
I could do nothing
No , nothing at all
And I didn't know
My elder brother
He cried a lot too
What's happening
Stepfather calls
They both enter
The bedroom
Then it's mine
Yes my turn
He was bare
He made me
The very same
No , please no
It really hurt
And I cried
And cried
What have
I done
So bad
So bad
For this
This pain
Two years
Next brother
Two years
Next sister
Two years
next brother
Two years
Next sister
Yes , we all
Witnessed
Every time
Mother !
Always at work
Nights
And I
Yes I
Did nothing
NOTHING
I did nothing
To stop it
Next
My children
Oh yes
My children
I hate
My children
I see them
In my guilt
Of doing
NOTHING
Hurts hurts
Loo problems
I said
Husband did it
But
He did not
He didn't even know
I told his mother
I told the doctor
He did it
They both said leave him
So in my mind
His fault
Get rid , get rid
He knew nothing
But he had pain
I made sure of that
Because
Looking at him
Made me feel
GUILTY
When
My stepfather died
I cried and cried
Why oh why did I cry
Though not with joy
I still wonder why
He made me rely upon him
He scared the hell out of me
His whisky made him worse
I even bought him presents
Trying to curry favour
Why, why, why , why
I don't know how
He's put
Something
Very strange
In my mind.

Love may go
Love may stay
Do we lose
Do we win
Do we care
Do we grin
What we do
what we don't
Be it good
or
Be it bad
Love was here
Love has gone

It's him
I know it
It is , it is
Let it be him
That swaggering
I'm it walk
That dinky great
Ginormous smile
Just like mine is
Right on now
Our smiles
A mere breath away
They've intermingled
Already across air
Like this knee shaking
Is really kissome
The kiss lovenly
Welding our lips
He taught me how
He's so very good
We taught each other
Our love making
We love each other
But not now in love
TONIGHT !
TONIGHT !
YIPPEE !

Here she is
A picture
Of innocence
Is she
As she seems
Or is there
Something else
Lurking underneath
I'll never know
Because
I don't know her well
But
It's nice
To have this mystery.

Hold me til it hurts
Squeeze the bad out of me
Let me be a good loving man
Give me love to keep me clean
You know I need to feel fine
So fine
So fine

Keep me strong in your arms
I just need you this way
Stop my mind from going astray
Let your love envelop me
You know I need to feel fine
So fine
So fine

Stroke me ever so tenderly
Caress away my thoughts of shame
Your love does hold me so still
No cheating upon you anymore
You know I need to feel fine
So fine
So fine

Hold me until it hurts
Squeeze the bad out of me
Let me be a good loving man
Give me love to keep me clean
You know I need to feel fine
So fine
So fine

No matter that birds do fly
That whirl and soar in the sky
No matter that the sea has tide
That rises and falls as on a ride
No matter that storms do so rage
Turning calm to havoc like a page
No matter that animals do so roam
They that do it have no home
No matter that bees go for pollen
To make honey to be reaped by men
All I want is peace in my soul
That's what I really want for me.

Hutch hopped about
Foraging as usual
Sundance stealthily
Crept towards her
Hutch sensed danger
Turned this way and that
Wrinkling her nose
To test the breeze
But did not detect
Her murderers crouch
Sundance sneaked
Towards a **** position
Getting ready to pounce
Hutch twitched her nose
Oh no , she thought
I'm being stalked
Sundance leapt into space
That's all he had
Hutch had gone.

I lie side by side
With myself
Wondering
Where I am
Did I have to leave her
To free me from her lies
I could have stayed awhile
Enjoying her womanly charms
Lived with her wantonly ways
Trod on day by day
But
Had some place in life
No matter all the strife
But
No I could not
Face
One more miserable day
So here I am alone
Wondering where I am
Lying side by side
With myself

I can't reach as high as you
I'm between down and up
Midway to your star
You're going into orbit
Far beyond my range
Send me down a life line
To pull me into your arms
Don't leave me all alone
In my downside swamp
Cos baby I need you
So close by my side
Don't fly so high
It's a long way down to earth
But not to my heart

I need you to teach me
To aim up high like you
To leave my lowly thoughts
And climb up there with you

To climb up there with you
Is what I've got to do
To climb up there with you
Is what I've got to do

I'll reach out for your love
And fight my lowly life
Get up there next to heaven
Help make your dreams come true
Soar in all higher plains
Just to be alone with you
But, letting you fly higher
To achieve your wildest goal

But
I need you to teach me
To aim up high like you
To leave my lowly thoughts
And climb up there with you.

You had no right to leave me a note
Such a cheapjack note of betrayal
You wrote in your measly sly note
And I quote with tears streaming
'You no longer belong to my heart'
How dare you say that your lover
Is no longer worthy of your heart
And further more, my strong anger
Is , because worst of all
You **** well beat me to it.

'Well I think it's outrageous'
The snow was falling
'What is outrageous'
A snowball wanged past her right ear
'That there is a Santa Klaus'
A large ****** of bells was heard
'Of course there is'
Ten dwarfs strolled past
'Oh no there isn't'
'Jingle bells , jingle bells'
'Stop it , or we'll be'
Jingle all the way'
'Like this all night'
'Hurrah for good old Santa Klaus'
'O.K. maybe there is'
'Hurrah for Christmas day'
'And maybe there isn't'
A woman walked past
Carrying a giant Christmas tree
'O.K. this Santa Klaus bloke'
Followed by a black cat
'Mistake'
'Who does he think he is'
A dwarf said 'hello Dancer'
'Well he's a nice chap that'
She ignored him
'Has white hair all over his head'
But stuck her tongue out
'All over his head , he'll be blind'
A stray reindeer went by
'No not over his eyes, everywhere , but'
Whistling a happy tune
'Sounds like a strange fellow to me'
Two hedgehogs were pulling crackers
'He also has a sled , pulled by reindeers'
A mouse went past on a pair of skis
'Ha Ha .Pull the other one, what does he do'
The coffee bar opened
'Gives presents out , all over the world'
The elves reached their workshop
'Now you're really joking'
And started making presents
" Oh not I'm not'
The fairies started to wrap them
'Oh yes you are'
The octopuses are not in this story
"Stop , stop , stop '
The sled was being filled
'Look I don't believe a word of it'
For millions of children
'But you have to Rudolph'.

I'm terrified
Terrified
Of loving you
It'll only
Break my heart
Something
I shouldn't start
But do
What you must do

I'm frightened
Frightened
You'll goosebump
My brain
Drive me
Completely
Insane
I'm scared
But do
What you must do

I'm worried
Worried
Of this
Knifes edge
Balancing
Making me
Dizzy
By the day
I have caution
But do
What you must do

Father
He's leaving us today
Going to a place
So very far away
I must say goodbye to a friend
He's now waiting for me

I know there's no need to hurry
It'll take more than just a moment
But I have to speak
For my very own intent
I must say goodbye to a friend

Soon he'll be only a memory
Someone whom was so dear
A very special friend
Of that I'm very clear
I must say goodbye to a friend

It'll take some time to do it
Not in a great big rush
Many , many things to say
In a way full of much
I must say goodbye to a friend

I've known him for a long time
Ever since I was born
He's been quite a man
Someone I couldn't scorn
I must say goodbye to a friend.

Is there any sense
In anything we do
Is it so stupid
Anything at all

Please please tell me
I know nothing
Nothing at all

Why should people die
Shot through the head
Is there any reason
For barbaric ways

Please please tell me
I know nothing
Nothing at all

Is there a just cause
For bombing towns
Is it for self ego
Or to pass away the time

Please please tell me
I know nothing
Nothing at all.

I stood
Where?
I stood
Where he had stood
Some moments before
I savoured his manhood
I let it wildly engulf me
I let my mind explode
With just gone passion
My hands clasped together
Kissing his muscular air
It will be soon again
I'll be swept off my feet
I know I'm impatient
For this splendor called love.

I think that I
Should not
Write poems
That
Upset people

It's incredible
I love you
After all
It's only you
But , not only you
It's you

It's amazing
All you are
After all
It's only you
I know I said it
But it's true

All this time
I've ignored you
After all
It's only you
You've got me
Through and through

I can't believe
I want you
After all
It's only you
I'm so happy
I've got you.

It's so warm
So comfortable
So safe
What's this
Upheaval
Great force
I'm being pushed
No I'm not
Yes I am
This power
Upon me
Rises
And falls
This pushing
Is stronger
Squeezing me hard
I'm stuck here
Half and half
Another great squeeze
Now , I'm in the cold
Upside down now
Someone is smacking
Yes smacking
My bottom
And making me cry.

I must get down town
Get my teeth sharpened
To give a nastier bite
Yes a bite to remember
That my victims will not
Oh ! how nice to bite
An evil dream come true
My claws to be done too
Making a loud clash of course
If not , I'll be empty of my music

I have to keep an eye out
For him with the Vorpal sword
I believe , he's my mortal foe
Resting by the Tum Tum Tree
Awaiting to cut me down

I Jaberwocky , with eyes aflame
Like to whiffle along
Through the beautiful Tulgey wood
Bubbling in tune as I happily go
Sensing danger near at hand
Swish , swish , swish went his sword
Sway , sway , sway went my body

But the devil, he ****** well is
Dug , dug , dug, deep inside of me
My green blood Spraying all around
He galloped of without a horse
With my head  held high aloft
But, so much little did he know
That, when night should verily fall
Cronjyceuse will set me right as might.

Learn to love
Learn by doing
It's so good
Learning by doing

Learn to hold
Learn by doing
It's so nice
Learning by doing

Learn to kiss
Learn by doing
It's so sweet
Learning by doing.

Rope did pull
Bell did toll
Sound stood still
Where is sound
Tis high above
Tis lowly down
Tis not here
In deaths ear
Coffin did slide
Flames did engulf
Not one heard
My deep sob
It tried, but
Did not escape
From fiery lips
Turned into ash
To be thrown
On stormy seas
To worldly sail
For my evermore

Whoever you are
Whatever you are
Wherever you are

Is there any sense
In anything we do
Isn't it so stupid
Anything at all

Please please tell me
I know nothing
Nothing at all
Why is it so ?

People do die
Many many shots
Fired through heads
Is there any reason
For these barbaric things

Is there any just cause
For bombing towns
Is it for a self ego build
Or to pass away the time

Please please tell me
I know nothing
Nothing at all
Why is it so ?.

Load the gun
Unload the gun
Gulp of whisky
Load the gun
Unload the gun
Think of them
Their romancing
Another gulp
Load the gun
Get outside
Stand by the car
One last gulp
Walk to the door
Deep , deep breaths
Break in fast
See them together
Raise the gun
To my temple
Pull the trigger

Lovers betwixt heart and when
Every moment with you
Tis like a teardrop astray
No telling its quiet demise
My lips dare touch yours
As indeed , favour returned
When next , my handsome beau
So much I need to renew
Now time is in such disarray
We know not our next caress
We can but make a lovers tryst
And hope our love entwines again.

She could do better
But doesn't know how
She doesn't know how
If it's to be
Let her
It's so plain to see
She's in love with me

Cos she's a wandering woman
As free as a bird of life
Cos she's a wandering woman
Never to be a wife

Why should I be sorry
That's she's painted so
That's the way she is
No one can tell her so

Cos she's a wandering woman
As free as a bird of life
Cos she's a wandering woman
Never to be a wife

She is who she is
Tormented girl from where
She'll keep on moving
From here until there

Cos she's a wandering woman
She's a free bird of life
Cos she's a wandering woman
Never to be a wife

Life is what she wants
There's no way to change
She'll go on foever
The way she has to be

Cos she's a wandering woman
She's a free bird of life
Cos she's a wandering woman
Never to be a wife

I can't believe myself
I'm so full of her
Can't let her go
Cos I love her so

Cos she's a wandering woman
She's a free bird of life
Cos she's a wandering woman
Never to be a wife.

She doesn't shower
Nor take a bath
Neither does he
She doesn't look
At her nakedness
In her mirror
Neither does he
She does not
Spend hours
Applying make-up
Neither does he
What they do, do
Is get on with it
Just like all flies do.

Maybe tomorrow
Could be sorrow
But , today is joy
And if it could be
Let it be for sure

Maybe tomorrow
Could be sorrow
Today is my joy
And if I love you
Stay around some more

Maybe tomorrow
Could be sorrow
Today is our joy
When I talk with you
I'm asking for more

Maybe tomorrow
Could be sorrow
Today is my joy
Maybe not tomorrow
Maybe not at all

I stood
Mouth
Wide open
What a fool
That I am
I tried
In a stupid way
To help
But
I yes I
was stupid
I didn't
Think
That I
Had no right