There is a fighter in me
that people need to see.
I have been through a lot
even though you may think not.

You told me when I would say goodbye
everyone would be glad to watch me die.
You laughed at my pain
even as it caused my life to be insane.
Hospital stays plagued my day to day life
not knowing if I would grab the knife.....

A soldier, over comer, survivor
the list can go on
I did what you thought was impossible.
I made it!
I am so much stronger!
This is who I am: a sixteen year old
who has made it through something so bold.

I am thirteen months clean
from a crimson red blade,
but honestly I still think
about why my physical scars
just had to go away.

I self-harmed to rid my feeble life
from emotional scars with an acute knife.
I was addicted for over five years.
Self-harm was my drug of choice.
Starting as an eleven year old
with eyes made of nothing but tears.

Finally through poetry I have an escape.
It became my voice
especially since to hear it is so scarce.

Using this avenue
I am learning each day to push on through
giving my hands something else to do.
Poetry has given me an outlet.
Not just the darkness that still tries to fight,
but an outlet for my voice
that is ready to soar to brand new heights.

Silence....
It's what I do best
in my thoughts of an isolated nest.
I promise I am not strange.
I just have to wait for my thought process to change.

It is hard for me to adjust to new people.
You can thank my past for that.
Years of society treating me like a ***** mat.

Please don't be offended
if I don't talk to you.
I am trying to withdraw from it,
but it's not easy considering
silence is all I could do.

Now do you see I am like the rest of humanity?
I have a personality, soul, and even a heart.
When I finally speak please don't take advantage
of the trust that can fly away
quicker than a speeding dart.

Over-all I am just like you,
but just a little different.

Depressed,Silent,Suicidal
"No one cares."
"The world would be better off if you were dead."
No one knows these horrid thoughts running through my head.

Amazingly it does not have to be this way.
Just because my voice is silent
does not mean I have nothing to say.
In fact confessing those lies
could very well mean I see the light of another day.

It is so difficult to tell you.
When cutting is all I used to do.
Please understand I cannot fight alone.
I promise I did try to.

Thank you for listening to what I had to say.
I know the importance of living to the next day.
Because I did not stay silent
I can hold this true:
Your compassion has become my greatest passion.
Helping the suicidal to make it on through.

I cannot believe this is true.
Hearing of another suicide
especially since it was you.

You brought so many people joy and love.
I only hope you found yourself some from above.
So many people really do care,
but the way you died will never be fair.
For a lot of us there is now a hole in our hearts
that is empty and bare.

Why did suicide have to claim you?
I wish there was something I could do
just to help you make it through.
I can't now,
however your death will not be in vain
and I can show how.
By at least keeping another
from feeling this pain.