At eleven past twelve,
(beautifully one following the other)
I lie here, under the stars,
With every possible ache,
Eating my heart and soul,
******* marrow from my bones.
Turning ashes out of my body.
Oh how pity!
The feet lies with the same blisters,
I was talking about.
My heels pain, out of the burden,
Carried all day.
Tired is my soul,
Tired is my hope..
Dead is my desire to live,
To wake up, for survival.
No arms wrap me tonight,
No chest lie so close,
But only cold tonight.
How I forgot, the clock strikes same,for us both.
It is for you, now,
Eleven past, thirty three minutes,
For me too.
You must have been dreaming,
In your sleep.
And my soul half awake,
Half dead of all the pain.
How I dreamt of holding on to you, to sleep.
And, how I lie here, paralyzed (of mind for now).
How you promised to count stars for me,
To not forget, once we lived the same.
Its not the same forever, I guess.
To change, is moving ahead.
And dear,
Let us lie separate under the same sky!

More cold is my heart,
Dead I have always been.
And no one cares.
You ignite the fire in me,
The fire knows no own,
It grows to burn me too, the dead bones.

i'm sorry i seem weak to you.
i'm sorry you're not used to swimming in my brash words,
my confidence in myself.
i'm sorry you're intimidated by me,
by my successes and dreams for a future you're not included in.
i'm sorry you couldn't see me for the beautiful person i am;
i'm sorry you didn't learn earlier that i do not tolerate abuse.
but mostly i apologize to myself
for putting my body through the kind of pain it went through,
the kind of pain i called loving you.

You won't forget me,
Like the back of your hand.
You never truly will.
I assure you with everything I am.

Because I am the song you've never heard;
The book you've never read;
The painting you've never looked at;
The one you've never thought of in your head.

I am the sea you've never swam in,
Or the keys you've never played.
I am the star you've never wished upon,
Or the prayer you've never made.

I am the dawn you've never seen,
The pillow you've never had at night;
I am the door you've never opened;
The glasses you've never used for sight.

As I came to know and realize
You like the back of my hand;
Knowing you exist, in my eyes,
I assure you with everything I am:

I never truly will,
That I will never forget you too.
But you've never known me in the first place,
So it was never the same for you.