Strength is the ability to stare fear in the face,
*and smile at it.

My ashes will dance in the air of time
My body will feel the warmest fire
My soul will leave my body to swim in the water of void
And my name will remain on earth unstained

Termites won't feed on me
My bones remain whole
As my days traveled into the coffin of divine treasure
As my sun continues to shine in the ether where God lives

Written by
Martin Ijir

I write frequently about you now.
It's all I can seem to do to stay sane.
I like to believe I'll be free one day, free like I was when I met you. Free before the storms of regret and life in general set in.
I know I should get up, go do something and have fun. But I've never felt so alone. It's probably not even half of what I truly deserve.
I'd like to believe that you are the same nice and caring you. You would wish me the best and let me know that I will never be alone even though you'll never be here. And I don't think I have experienced a darker time in my life, and all I really needed is you. But you sent that part of you far away and I wonder if it came back here, lurking in the corners until it was found.
It was found. And it will never be replaced or taken away again.
If there is one thing I wish I could tell you it's this,

You are you
And he is he
Please never mistake the two
Because he is a haunting I no longer wished to have known
And I will take you wherever I go.

I realize how horrible that is. I can never take what I did back. My second biggest regret will never trying harder to reach out to you. My biggest will always never realizing it was always you. A silly face drowned out by the shadow from the sun, it's something I will never forget. And even when I'm mad and lost with things I don't understand, even though my words don't mean anything to you anymore and aren't reason enough to write songs of. I hope you find it in you to trust me when I say that I hope you have endless silly faces. I hope even when the suns shadow covers your face, the light you both give off brings it back from the unwanted dark.
And I don't know if I'll find myself again or if I'll find someone else.
The only thing I do know is that I will always keep that part of our lives in my heart.

And at last I understood why they all hated me.
All at once I knew in my very bones
that even as a child they would look
into my eyes and couldn't see a person looking back.
They could read nothing in me, could not own me,
and I could see right through into their souls.
All the lies they had built for themselves,
all the powers of their plastic civilization
meant nothing when they looked at me.
I am a jackal of the desert, born of horrors
and raised with the spirits of the dead for guides.
When they look me in the eyes
they know fear.