3AM
And just like that its the night before Christmas.
You leave your room, go downstairs: you must be quiet, everyone's asleep. You stare at the Christmas Tree that's glowing like the brightest star, that reminds you of all the memories before it all went wrong. You stare at it for a while. But after few minutes you leave and go back to your room. You slowly grab the blade and slash down to your wrist. You scream, waking up the dog and mom. Mom only heard the dog bark so she isnt aware that you are bleeding to death.

8AM
The dog barks widely, waiting for you to open the door, not knowing that you won't.
Your mom screams down the hallway echoing at you to take care of the dog, but you don't respond.
Something is odd. You are not replying like you usually do.

8:30AM
Mom comes to check up on you, she assumed you were asleep, she opens the door and finds your dead body in a pool of blood. What a shame, such talentful child passed away by thinking it is a failure.

The kiss of the man,
The scar on her head,
She saw the darkness in her.
The wrist that she cuts,
The wall that she punched,
She didn't speak that much.
The love she gave was never enough,
All she ever was her body,
Not her soul, not her heart.

I carved holes into my skin to my bones,
just so a glimpse of light gets into my soul.

Dear Holy Tree,
I invoke the thee.
Don't ever dissapear,
The gods have forsaken me.
Done me so wrong, so wrong,
That the voices never stop.
I thought they were my shelter, my refuge,
But all they did was give me an urge.
All i need is a bullet and a gun,
It's an act that can't be undone.

Why would I want to get to heaven?
What if in heaven is my assaulter that repented?
Why would I share an eternity with someone evil like him?
I would rather burn in hell and feel the pain of fire than the pain of despair for eternity.