I had to keep back tears
when I discovered
that the plant
which I had nourished over years
      first in a ***
      then in the tiny frontyard garden
      where it had   after a while
      found its space amid the dominance
     of  honeysuckle & the bougainvilleas
had simply been cut off at the stem
by the guy I had paid to clip the hedge

     which he actually butchered to a degree
     that it looked like shrubs by the trenches of World War I
     devastated by artillery, grenades, and machine guns

I think I will not ask
for his services any more

the year is new
the problems stay the same

the one or other
   may have gotten a new name
yet the proverbial hope
    that they would simply disappear
   with time passing
remains just that

still  every year begins
    with quickening hearts
    and firm decisions
    the best intentions
    and new hope
that we will finally do
those things which to achieve
we’ve had on our mind
all these 12 months
that now belong inevitably to the past

so   in the early hours
of the latest new beginning
we promise to be strong
always prepare to meet the unexpected
and get things done at last

but first   dear friends
first   we shall celebrate
our chance to see the new year’s sun arise

LET’S HAVE A BLAST

if only i could
**** myself
w/o anyone knowing
just
remove myself
and leave life behind me.

"I await a guardian."
Shrouded forms who wrench and weave the hidden things I can't percieve,
into twisted thoughts of rage and woe
which drag me through the flames below.
"I await a guardian."
Bony fingers who clench.
Macabre lips who **** to kiss.
Weapons of hunger, instruments of fear...
"I await a guardian."
Joy becomes a distant memory,
replaced with bells that clang and roar.
The light has passed the spectrum,
fading to a shade of emptiness.
Kneeling in the dirt with
hands across my face; demons mistlike in their flight embrace my sorrow,
their sweet delight.
"I await a guardian."
All I need, is hopelessly gone.
All I need is hope... gone.
All I need is hope.
All I need... hope.
I need hope.
...hope.
HOPE.
What brightness in brilliance through such confines of the black. Shadows cannot hide when you shine like the sun.
The brazen bells have silenced and the mist is all but clear, scattered in the lucent are abandoned tools of fear.
"I await a guardian?"
I have become the guardian.

I fell in love with a girl,
With no hope on my side.

I fell in love with a girl,
With twinkles in her eyes...