the whole concept of storms used to scare me
the claps and strikes would cause me to not want to look outside because i was scared of the aftermath the storm caused

i'm not scared anymore—in the sense that now, you're the storm
you're the claps of thunder and the strikes of lightning and the pounding of rain drops that make me want to look outside to see all of the mist and the electricity dancing above us
you're the storm—you're the thunder with a laugh that echoes in my head all night
you're the rain that falls on top of my body when you need to catch your breath
you're the lightning that lights up the entire sky

capricorn: how often do you love for a second and then forget, how many times have you loved so deeply you've thought it might be to the grave
aquarius: can you listen to their favorite genre of music without breaking down yet
pisces: how many times have your fingers ached and you've felt like it was because of the months you've gone without holding his hand
aries: how many lovers bedrooms have you occupied, how many times have you wanted three words to occupy your bones and make you feel warm
taurus: have you learned not to fall in love yet
gemini: how often do you try to pretend she never happened
cancer: how many times have you sat outside with a bottle of liquor typing in her phone number that you deleted before you started drinking
leo: have you forgotten the way he smiles yet or is that saved in your phone still along with all the text messages you two have ever sent
virgo: how many times have you sat in someone else's car and reached for her hand before realizing she's not driving
libra: have you been able to say out loud that she doesn't love you anymore and not end it with a choking sob
scorpio: how many times have you woken up at 3am and felt around your bed praying to a god you don't believe in that she would be there
sagittarius**: do you still hear him in the middle of the night when everything is quiet and you're breaking

capricorn: someday you'll wake up and the sun will be reaching down your throat saying her batteries ran out and she needs to borrow yours
aquarius: someday you'll realize that a hurricane without an eye isn't worth it and i hope that's today
pisces: someday your mom will give you a life altering piece of advice and you'll sit for a minute and then disregard the entire thing
aries: someday you'll bite your tongue and someone else will scream in pain, you'll look at him and someone else will fall in love, congrats
taurus: someday you'll be the reason they whisper "love hurts just like morning coffee" in the hallways
gemini: someday the government will have made laws prohibiting certain behaviors, and all because of you
cancer: someday someone will grab your hands and tell you that they love you and yes, you should probably abandon hopes of being decent now
leo: someday you'll make the conscious decision to love someone and then wonder why it didn't work like you thought it would
virgo: someday you'll meet someone who you talk about sunsets and road trips and being the human embodiment of a storm with; love them hard
libra: someday you'll abandon taking photos of the sky and you'll later find yourself tasting colors in the back of your throat
scorpio: someday you'll get a coffee and give your name and the barista will write "very sad looking girl that looks like a walking orchid"
sagittarius**: someday the sun will stop asking for your half of the rent

how to say your name without choking how to embrace without clenching how to love without bleeding how to **** without detaching how to say goodbye without wincing

up close, you started to be 
less than enough; i saw the 
love you gave me and wanted
 more and i’ve never spoken 
words that tasted more like 
regret than our last goodbye
—i was wrong, but 
every time i look for the same 
regret on your face, all i see is wellness and moving on

i.** take a lesson from the way watercolor paint bleeds through notebook paper
ii. if i lose my mind and we lose our clothes i promise to never lose our hands and i hope you never hate me when the sun is up
iii. you made your bed now lay in mine
iv. my death wish is you telling me that you're sorry over and over again
v. all of these streetlights won't stop staring at me
vi. your eyelids, someone wants to kiss those and no it's not me okay it is
vii. what do you mean you don't keep all of my exhales in a glass jar
viii. i loved a thing once and then i died
ix. **** the world and then don't text it back the morning after
x. **** your love is my benzodiazepine
xi. are we making love or sulfuric acid
xii. how it is vs. how i want it to be vs. how it should actually be
xiii. oh, you didn't hear? your raspy screams and hollowed eyes aren't enough anymore
xiv. and now every car crash sounds like the last time you ever said my name
xv. pretty sure i have john f. kennedy's brain
xvi. you whispered "i love you" and it sounds more like an apology than anything
xvii. i have no poetry left inside of me, just a lot of white paint
xviii. accidentally bashed my head into a wall on purpose today and yes, i still have a mind and yes, you're still on it

capricorn:* cover your heart in acrylics like you are art and promise yourself you'll leave after this one last kiss (you won't, you never do)
aquarius: you never stopped trying to be your own worst nightmare and this is why people find their breath of fresh air in you
pisces: something about the way shouting something off of a rooftop never feels the same as whispering it in their ear
aries: you are both a quiet tuesday morning and a tornado in the middle of april and there's never been a more beautiful disaster
taurus: you are the apology strung between two streetlights and you will never give up on finding the worst person to love
gemini: you are something along the lines of a fairytale but i think your author was drunk because this isn't going how it should
cancer: you are something of a tsunami stored in shaky palms and uncertain breaths and she will still love you with 100 mph winds
leo: you are nothing less than the scream your heart begs to let out when you feel like you're losing them and i want to punch it out of you
virgo:  picking flower petals*—they love you, they love you not, they love you, they love you not, they love you, they know you want to die, they love y
libra: and ten years from now, you will still be falling in love with people the same way others skydive from planes
scorpio: you are more than the last "im sorry" between two people whose infinity was shorter than it should have been
sagittarius: death has been flirting with you from across the room all night long and there's a good chance that it's love at first sight

you deserve happiness, so i left