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I changed my mind.
I'm not doing it anymore.
I don't need to add anything else to everything that's drowning me.
Two weeks would be hell
And I don't think it will make me happy.
I just won't be happy period.
There's not much I can do about that.
I have tea so...
I am not writing and doing nothing because I need a break from working, I am doing it because I am upset and I am trying really hard to escape myself.
I can't I can't I can't.
I didn't want to get up today.
You could be miles away
an untameable distance
impossible to reach
tomorrow or today
yet you sit two feet that way

Your could be slipping
falling of a cliff
into a darkness i can not follow
one hand dangling on the edge that is ripping
yet you stand firmly on the ground without tripping

You could be blinded
Sight blocked out by an unpenetrable veil
hiding me from you, unable to see the present,
memories forgotten as you go unreminded
yet your eyes shine, filled with confidence, decisions decided

Perhaps it is me
an impossible treck away

Perhaps it is me
slipping from the edge today

Perhaps it is me
blind folded, hidden from you

Perhaps it is me,
a small candle,  wishing to burn anew,

yet I battle for every breath to pass
as the oxygen is taken by your inferno
my speck of light, shining through miles of darkness
your blazing fire, through clear glass
snuffs out my flame, turning it to gas
If you wake up with red puffy eyes and messed up hair, a body that would not be considered "perfect" by society's ******* up standards, wearing scrunched and unflattering pajama pants and an old stained T-shirt for a band I don't even like with a sore throat and a pale face, oily skin and rough hands because it's getting cold and dry this time of year, and you sit at the table and have your tea with me in the morning, still quiet and barely awake, how you look then and there will be when I love you the very most, because that's when I know you see our relationship as something that doesn't rely on us always finding each other's outward appearance attractive. But, that is when I will find you the most attractive of any moment in time, when you wake up, and look like YOU.
one day, idk.
Who knows if I even WILL get married. I highly doubt anyone will want to marry me, but eh. whatever. It's nice to think about.
If I can find a guy who will watch "When Harry Met Sally" with me, without complaint, and will be okay with me talking through the entire movie, at 1 AM on a weekday even though we both have to work in the morning with tea, chocolate, and a fuzzy blanket, while I wear ugly sweats and an oversized hoodie with no make up and messed up hair, and somehow, if he can still find me beautiful at that moment, I know I've found the one.
that won't happen, of course.
Forget "If..." more like "if only..."
just a nice fairytale impossible day dream,
and I really love that movie.
Thank you for teaching me what it means to find someone not only attractive, but incredible, but know better than to sacrifice who you are to make them like you.
That's pretty much the best thing you taught me.
Other than that, you just **** and really hurt me.
That's about it.
So thanks a lot.
just a stupid boy.
Is any other girl out there sick of society's definition of beauty when it comes to our ***?
What do YOU consider beautiful? Ignoring what society seems to think it is. Please comment and share your opinion.
Also, repost if you can identify with this. The MUST be someone else out there.
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