You are real..
You aren't imaginary
Even though I know that

I can't help, but feel
That one day
I'll wake up
Open my eyes
And see that you were all in my head

A dreamt up
Imaginary waste of time

When you are near
I feel as if I am alone
So why should I believe you are real

Your presence is less than lively
Your words ever dull
I feel no comfort from what you say
Or how you look my way

Your words are like the cafeteria lunch menu
Back in school
Very bland with nothing new to show

Your words are like a record stuck on repeat
The same old lack of enthusiasm
The same lame response
Time after time

Your words drain me
They **** my creative heart
It's as if they set fire to all the things I had hoped you'd say

Your words,
What little you say
Drive me to madness
To tears
To hopelessness

Whenever will you learn?
Expression is what I yearn for,
Passion filled words are my desire
A man unafraid to show his own heart

Remember the days of easy innocence, where summer was our whiskey
The sky of red and orange and pale purple as the sun set was intoxicating

"Light the fire!" she cries, her hair a golden flame of itself, tasseled and wild-
"Lord of the flies," now she cries, "lord of the flies"

And sometimes we'd be alone but never lonely
Or at least we never realized
Lady Southwest with the chestnut eyes
She's missed it all but somehow endured-

And here I am
I linger on the wonder of little things, and hide behind my boundaries with thoughts that nothing could ever harm me, here

Today was perfectly normal until I saw you.
Today was just fine until I had to pretend I
didn't notice you and act distracted by nothing.
I was ok until I recognized you and flinched.
My heart raced but not like it used to.
It pounded in fear instead of fluttering lightly.
I had just started to rebuild myself.
The cinders of my confidence and strength had
started to glow dimly, my assurance whispering.
In that moment they were instantly doused.
Leaving me weak and allowing my eyes
to nearly betray the ashes I have become.
I never tried to tell if you had noticed me.
Relief flooded me pathetically as you left.
I'm not proud of how cornered I had felt.
I'm broken but I need to believe I'm improving.
With ashen fingers,
empty eyes,
and shallow breaths,
I weakly pick up my pieces.
Some day I'll be whole again...
One day I'll look back at this and laugh.

Step 1: Kiss her, hard.
Step 2: Let her swim through your body and feel her fingernails accidentally chip a piece of your heart off.
Step 3: Do anything and everything that absolutely terrifies you, then do these things again, with her this time.
Step 4: Climb a mountain, then write her a letter once you reach the top; spill your guts out onto that piece of paper and watch as the snowflakes turn into words and -27 degrees turns into excruciating emotions.
Step 5: Realize that death is just another form of telling her that she's beautiful & listening to her sing in the car & watching her graduate from the school we call life & letting her run her sandy toes through your leg hair.
Step 6: Jump off of a cliff made of her memories, then sink to the bottom of that ocean which is filled with contaminated smiles and laughs that you haven't seen or felt in ages.
Step 7: Congratulate her on her new job and marriage.
Step 8: Give her newborn son a big hug, for the both of you; knowing in the back of your mind, that should of been your little boy to give kisses to on all the boo-boos and scratches he gets.
Step 9: Accidentally see her across the park, jogging (so beautifully if I might add), and walk in the opposite direction.
Step 10: Keep on living, without her.

Should you ever leave! he’ll become a Homeless man broken and cold on the street, his Dreams will run away as far away from him as they can be.




His Lonely Soul would try to find a way through his torched mind as his memories slowly eat away at him.




His heart was Crumbling the more he prayed for his Smile to come and save him, his Destiny was lost in a Shadow with many tears Lost in Dreams whispering to him. 




Isolated from the world his Hour Glass would never set him free, Everyday was a battle as his Nightmares took hold of him.




Death wouldn’t even wait around the corner to come and save him his life is now filled with Misery and cold pain from deep-within. 




Silence was not a wish that held the key to his destiny, his Smile made no sound as his tears would start to scream.




Should you ever leave you’ll take away everything that’s close to him.




Jidos Reality 15.10.12

Absence is presence, but not of the same.
His absence brings the presence of sadness,
And a presence of sorts, who lives in my mind
But is simply lacking
In smell
In form
In wonder.

His absence coincides with the presence of my hands,
Touching my forlorn, desperate face,
In places he might touch if he was present.

The dawning of the sadness
Upon another lonely absence,
And an inadequate presence trying to catch up.

My sadness provides me with comfort
Sick, isn't it?
It's just something that's always been there
Consistency
That's comforting to me
And as much as I want to feel the sunshine on my cheeks
And have flowers bloom within my mind
Part of me is so scared to leave my sadness behind

Since the day I met you
I've failed to flow rationally.

You challenge my mind
(One of few, my dear),
Yet you play with my heart.

I don't know if you know this
yet
but I would happily turn our jokes
of love and marriage,
our hypothetical daydreams,
Into reality
-should society permit.

But I know these dreams:
my happy nights;
your morning messages,
they are just dreams.

And without you,
I must learn to flow
like I did before.