If someone
does not want me
it is not the end
of the world
but
if I do not want me
the world is nothing
but endings

she said
on that
day

you will
be numb

we will
inject you
with thick
liquid

deadening
the pain

no signals
will reach your
brain

on that
day

so you will
not feel
a thing

I said so
how will
that be
different
from
today

she laughed
uncomfortably

I don't think about it any more
I take out the trash
noting
Sticks caught in the crotch of a tree
The wind does what the wind does
breaks weaker branches down
does not care where
it leaves
them
on its invisible way

Days do what the days do
they don't count themselves
worthy as they go
to release
the afternoon
to evening—
an artless
emptying
to a low spot
where tears tend to pool
if I'd let them down

“You know,
in that low spot
out there...?”
Where it's hard to see
Where its hard to care?

They take heart
out
divide it by energy
for sadness—
I haven't got

Watched the clock go round
wipe out my little plans
with relentless hands

...and I never got dressed today