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Kelsey Rhoads Jul 2017
Crawl inside my body
Find me
Where I'm most broken
And love me there
If you understand, I'm sorry. Stay strong friend.
Kelsey Rhoads Jul 2017
Sometimes I tell myself I'm happy
Even though I'm not
To take away my pain
After all, it's the thought.
If you understand I'm so sorry. Stay strong friend
Kelsey Rhoads Jul 2017
It's 12:40 and I can't think
It's 12:40 and I can't speak

November 14, 2016
My friend committed suicide.
He left behind his newlyborn twins.
He left behind his mother, his friends.
I'd just talked to him the day before.
He laughed, we laughed.
12:45 p.m he was pronounced dead.

I have written a song for my friend.
He committed suicide.
Not so long ago.
April 27, 2017.
7:15 pm and he was pronounced dead.
I will forever miss him.
I had just talked to him.
He tried to warn me.

May 7, 2017.
I tried to **** myself.
Went into my bathroom.
Took over 400 ibuprofen.
Was in a coma.
My little brother found me vomiting.
He's nine..

How are these true stories funny?
How do people laugh and joke about it?
Knowing that it literally ruins people's lives?

How do we socially ignore it?
Why don't we at least try to help the problem?
Why don't we talk about the things that need to be discussed?

You can make a difference.

Yeah, YOU.

YOU can start it out.

Someone makes a "joke". Call em out.

Because everyone's worth it.
These people suffered and with people still using it
as a joke while their gone is unfair and disgusting.

But that's not it. THEIR worth it. But so are YOU.
If you understand I'm sorry. Stay strong friend. Sorry I haven't been on much, it's been hard. Real hard lately losing another to suicide. Being one myself. It's hard. But I'm always here if you want to talk message me, and we will get through this together.
I slipped up.
I slit cuts.
I didn't mean to.
I drew blood.

I read online
When I was probably just 14 or 15 years old
That most people don't stop until their 20's
And it scared me
But I thought
"No, I'll stop right now"

But I didn't.
I couldn't.

I slipped up.
I slit cuts.
I didn't mean to.
I drew blood.

And now that I'm older
It hurts more to try to hide it
And now that I have people that care about me
Often times they don't understand why this part of my life is still relevant
And all I can say to make them understand is

I slipped up.
I slit cuts.
I just had to.
I drew blood.
Kelsey Rhoads Jun 2017
I miss you man won't you come back
You were loved man didn't you know that?
You saved my life, I could talk to you
I could have saved yours if I only knew

Was it my fault that you ended your life?
Did I hang the rope, did I sharpen the mind?
I can't help but think that the night I O.D'd
That you came and rescued me

I am writing to lessen my pain
Hopefully somehow I keep sane
On occasion you'll see me cry
And understand clearly
I didn't want you to die
If you understand I'm sorry, stay strong friend
Kelsey Rhoads Jun 2017
Your memory comes flooding in tonight
Like a punch in the gut
I spent the day actually happy
I can't help but feel guilty
How could I be so happy
When you could be here
It was your choice I know
I still can't help but feel guilty
You tried to warn me
Screaming
Begging me to save you from your own mind
Thoughts
Self hate
Yet,
I walked away
...
I should have known
I can't help but feel guilty
That you could still be here
I wouldn't have tried myself
That maybe we could have been
Anything then we are now
And I can't help but feel guilty
If you understand, I'm sorry. Stay strong friend
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