I'm afraid...
Not of the Monsters, skeletons, and demons all.
Have we have them? Why yes, we have them all.
But it isn't them that we're afraid of, not by name at the very least.
It's what they remind us of, that we recognize the true beast.

It hungers and rustles
just waiting inside
of the seven deadly sins, mine are of anger and pride.

They show constantly. No matter how hard I try.
And every night I wonder, what will be tomorrow's next lie?
I can not focus, breathing is hard to do...

But with you?
With you it's different.
You. Are. Different.
Besides my flaws, and my terrible sense of self-image
you see through it and see what's left of me.
And with you I can be calm.
I can breath. And be free.

And you care.
So I'm afraid. That if I let you care further, I'll hurt you.
I don't want to see you ever hurt, by anyone.
But especially, by me.
I want to change. I have to change. Before I ask you to stay.
Because the last thing that would hurt the most,
is you running away.

Because if you're afraid of me.
Than so should I be.
I"m afraid.

"That's outrageous!" He said.
"You're a ******* fool" I muttered.
That's pennies on the dream.
If you think that the four dollars
   And 29 cents is for a piece of plastic with some ink and a ballpoint then you're probably just making a grocery list.
A pen  is not for scribbling to do lists.
There is an app for that.

A pen is for unlocking dreams and opening windows.
It's for recording the nightmares and victories of a life worth living.
If you don't have PTSD from one thing or another by 28, then you aren't living right.

"You're a madman" he chuckled.
Maybe so.
But I think the price is worth it.