I could say that
I was a pebble and you were a boulder
I could say that
I was like a small dwarf planet revolving around my sun
I could say that
I needed you

but I would be lying.
I try to need you
I try to feel the way you feel
I try to remember what it was like to love you
but I cannot.

I could say
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
but that’s cliche and a lie
that would make it worse.
I could say
“It’s not anything you did”
but I’m not sure if that’s a lie

All that I know is true is
you are the last person I want to hurt
but the last person I need

Sorry.

People say that rhyme about sticks and stones
but don’t dare tell me
that these emotions
that make you feel like you are having open heart surgery and running a marathon at the same time
hurts less than a broken bone.

Sadness leaves scars
whether they are physical or internal.
Grief leaves bruises
the size of your heart
Anxiety leaves you broken
and it takes more than a cast and pain killers to even slightly endure it.

Mr. Mirror does not see what she sees.
He see the truth, and shows it to her
But she does not have her glasses on.
She does not see what Mr. Mirror sees.

Mr. Mirror cannot smell
or taste
he cannot show what he feels
or hears
but he does hear the same sobs everyday
and feels like hugging her
and comforting her
but he cannot.

She tries
to like what she sees.
She tries
to give herself a smile when she sees him
but behind her face there is a girl
truly in pain.
Mr. Mirror did not see her smile for weeks.
One day she hopped in the bath.
Mr. Mirror saw it all go down from there
Blood gushed down her arm
her pains finally having a physical appearance.
Mr. Mirror was screaming
but no one heard.
No one could.  

Mr. Mirror did not see change for
three days.
He had to watch her
in that state
for three days
until finally a man opened the door
to see the horrible
tragedy.
Men in black uniforms came and took her away.

After years of staring at the empty wall
thinking of her
and how he couldn’t save her
a new lady started to see him every now and then.
She smiled every day
and all he could think about
was never letting that smile fade
but he can’t guarantee that.

I can’t hold on anymore.
I fall to the ground, panting.
I’m so tired of being in pain.
Nothing has every hurt as much
My sadness, anxiety, and stress
Do not even compare to
This physical pain and tension I am currently feeling
I feel it everywhere
My chest
My spine
I will never get used to it
I think I’m fine but then
It gets worse
I try to hide it in the most creative ways.
I can’t reverse the pain.