if somehow, i forgot who i was;
do not remind me.
if i cannot swallow down my food;
do not tell me that it is because of the weeks i have starved myself.
if i feel this sudden guilt but do not remember why;
do not tell me why, say that it'll pass soon.
if i cannot fall asleep;
do not tell me i have insomnia, kiss my forehead and lay next to me to soothe my soul,
because i do not want to remember who my past self was.
i wanted to forget.
and i did
so do not tell me who i was, let me re-live.

She didn’t always drink her coffee black.
The milk would spill in, staining the drink
until the perfect hue was achieved
and she’d think what her mother used to think.
“You are always right where you need to be.”
And she’d watch a sugar cube float around
for a few minutes, until the bronze sea
took it away. And her silk dressing gown
trickled past her body just as her new
buyer came to the door. She took one sip
and tried not to let her mascara strew
or even let the mug smear at her lips.
She poured everything down the kitchen sink
and tried to forget what her mother might think.

Don't lie to yourselves,
and don't you dare lie to me
because I know that selfishness
doesn't tie nooses
nor does it
fire gunshots into the mouths
of the so called "selfish."
Shame and guilt are the culprits
the ones who cut wrists
and overdose on pills.
Yet, I'm afraid
that they are seldom
held responsible for their
actions.

You still look beautiful
despite rough finger tips,
arms thin as twigs
and dry cracked lips.
Take a breath
you've done far too much crying,
dry your cheeks,
try to forget you're dying.