seventy two degrees
cross cross on the hardwood floor
bohemian rhapsody
and moscato sangria
we spent the first minute of 2019
clinking plastic champagne cups
and making noise
i hope they heard us in hunstville
we’re the type to cheer
for other time zones too
i loved giggling and starting something new
i hope new year’s eve comes around again
next year too

you snake your arms around my neck
wine stain on my lips i said
i love you
i got this year for you brand new
it’s enough to know my name
is on the tag.

i do it all for the noise
that it causes
treat it like a
kick it like a
habit
my beauty sounds like a yawn
i'll put us in story mode next time
so maybe we can finally dance like we mean it
falling asleep to the thought
of travelling back in time and
meeting a beautiful face
that i don't love nearly as much
as i love yours
i'll wade through my sad memories
and you'll comb through yours
and we'll know we could have done things
so much differently
but that would mean we wouldn't be here
sitting cross-legged on the living room floor
fingers twisted and hearts broken
fixing a world
that never wanted to be fixed.

we rise from the wreckage
and i love you just enough
to know that you love me too.

i’m sure my shoes will slide off my feet
without the velvet straps
and the wind will slip in
through the knits in my sleeves
and my lipstick will end up
on my chin
and my mouth will go numb
craving a new taste
but this anger that i’m harboring
is fruitless and useless
i just like it
so **** much.

why do i crumble
fall into pieces of
oats and sugar
something beautiful
in a white bowl, but
a mess on the floor
when i wake up
in an empty house
why do i wither like
brown leaves
under brand new and
borrowed boots atop
autumn sidewalks
when i’m alone,
i’m alone,
i’m alone
it is not enough
to eat breakfast
however small
to wash my hair with
coconut milk
to not step out into
the busy street;
i freeze before the ice
touches me
i do not allow
the chance to warm
my own hands
i lie down, on
***** sheets,
and wait for someone
anyone
anything
to awaken me

while finding fascinating ways
to confront the ache in my jaw
i try to find a compromise
with the weather:
you can rain today
so long as the rivers
stay off the streets.

just let me
make myself sad
in peace.