a bag full of clothes
and my favorite book:
I didnt know what it meant
I just knew that you were gone,
that you wanted nothing to do with me.
I figured I'd leave you alone,
give you some time to yourself.
You seemed better off without me anyways.
But I didn't know what that bag of clothes
and my favorite book
would do to me.

As soon as I got home,
I opened up the bag
and the first thing I noticed was your scent.
God...I missed my best friends scent.
It's weird, you never really miss something like that
until it's gone.
And I never really thought I'd have to miss that.
I tore through the bag as tears flowed down my cheeks
and my heart broke more and more as I realized
just how many skirts, shirts, and dresses I had shared with you.
God, I miss you.
I miss being able to share my clothes with you
and I miss hearing your laugh.
I miss that time we spent all night talking on the phone
or in your room.
I miss that time you tried to teach me how to twerk,
And I failed miserably.
I miss telling you that your dreams of New York would become reality.
And I miss you, just in general.

I know you've cried because of the pain I've put you through,
And dear god am I sorry for the way I hurt you.
You, more than anyone in this ****** world,
Deserves happiness and love.
I'm sorry for what I did,
For hurting you in the worst way possible,
And I am so sorry for being the complete opposite
Of your best friend.
I love you, and I do not deserve your forgiveness,
but I just need you to know this.
I just need you to know how sorry I am
and how much I love you.

My mind begins to race
And i struggle to keep up with the chase
My imagination runs wild
But honestly im really tierd
Why cant my mind let me rest
Maybe it feels I need to process and digest
But you see, id have to disagree
Because I dont want to think about climbing a tree
Why cant my mind let me be
Id really like it right now if I were asleep

Forgetting I am fugitive.
A new scar on your soul.
All the heartbreak I stand to inflict

The sirens beg.
Choking.
For the understanding below paling flesh.  
A spoonful of sugar over this fantasy.  
Brown blood pressures the cell's telephone calls.  
That word is mistaken.  
The lies to bring sunset into sunrise.  
When the capital fails and the rest is wax. my search can stall.  
O' and bone,  oil and bone.  This luxury tinned.  Beat warm, earn the warning.  
Lude rests and he sleeps and he falls into me.



Fall asleep sutured life.
Wake a corpse in the graveyard.  
A scar to shine bold.


No jewelry to tell my troubles with.  
A skirt nests between zero and one.  
Cinder block or wood. My back arches. My back twists. The bed shadows my guilt.  Waving and flapping above my head.  
Donate your own home. Your wounds for the increase in volume.  Guilt watches the river and trembles.  



Forgotten anchor.
For the mass has replaced you.
The last transmission.

The stone is cold against my cheek
bring the glow closer
I can feel the heat
hear the spark
smell the fluid
see the flame

Slowly the rock glows through my skin
and burns
the sharp touch signals
a rising nether
where thoughts float free
and men don’t cry
and I don’t care

The fire burns low
and the stone grows cool
I am left
exhausted

Was I flying?
I never left the couch.

Travel the world
see the rainforests with full and pointed leaves
swim in the streams and feel the smooth mud
eat delicacies that make men weep
smell the refuse of a billion
lie in the arms of strange lovers
listen to the sound a rose makes when it bends in the wind
now return

See her there sitting between the stacks
the phosphorescent light is harsh on her skin
the world is laid out before her
can you tell her about the rain forests
about the leaves that fell with forceless precision,
about the streams that chilled your bones
and made you feel alive
about the food that drove you mad
and the blinding smells
tell her of supple foreign skin
about the rose so delicate that when it finally snapped
so did you.

Could she understand?
Would she care?
"What do you know?" she asks.

So you try to explain,
you paint the most vivid picture
of nature, man, beast, land, space,
love...

"What do you know." she says.