to stand beneath a sunlit
flowering cherry
is to stand in the
presence of
god

even broken words
can point to the horizon
indicating the wholeness
of the swollen moon
as it hangs low and heavy
tumbling along in the
fullness of its cycle

even broken words
can point upward
indicating the infinite
in the cathedral skies
as translucent layers of
impossible number
and impossible shades of blue
together compose the deepest color
of the symphonic midday sky

even broken words
can heal

a river of dried blood, flash flood
awakened by the charade
of a pretended perfection, broken
hopes for the future gasp for breath

he claws for a branch, suspended
brittle over the black torrent
as if it could hold the weight
of a thousand years

and, like every final breath,
his last breath
is a breath
out

on dollippingtin’s fragglies
in briffelsy puff-tuft
all blashtered and baggsie
a glumpting was shand-cuffed

his flumper was sump-yunned
and when flayed o’er the shill
she snatchered the snubly
and waxered the wheel

and roiling and foiling
the glumpting did skyle
over the pull-say
and into the schmile

he de-ployed a ghastling
when she tripped a scripe lie
and he sarrowed the fragile
when she squatched like a flie

the glumpting was bashered
and turned the gaze mis-erly
mounsied the snubly
and roiled back to briffelsy

the moggetty corpsy was
blotted and ratten
and burbeling and gurbling
it sniffed like a trash-pan

the flumper lain deadsy
was found by the doll-po
and the glumpting was sentaxed
to scorpse in the prisco

morale of the taile:

if bashtered yourselves be
do not waxer the wheel
do not be a ghastling
just be a hap still

cross
the river
deep and wide
the gulf
of our
divide

should we
strain against
the current
or ride
the raging
torrent

life
is always
full of change
nothing ever
stays
the same

stand
on this
shore
with me
together
we'll live free

and move
mountains
to the ocean
like the channel
that is
flowing

within
the river
deep and wide
the gulf
of our
divide

indistinct ripples of memory
dance across your eyes
your name is known but vanished
like the time since i saw you last
like it was a different life
it seems so long ago
how has it been
twenty years

my friend

leaflets flirting with the warm breeze
sunset orange-coral nestling into grassy valley
             universal rose-colored lens half-hour
flower buds swollen with anticipated arousal

impossibly long shadows veil canyon walls
breaking rank, ducks' webbed feet descend
             glass-calm river pool flock-shattered
invisible trout shadows streak water-polished stones

butterfly-fluttered stomach flies with her touch
lightning-flash eyes shine under dark-forest lashes
             full lips birthing angelic-wit phrases
her room-lightening smile erupting with laughter

hateful floodgate opens
transgressions resurrected
impending failure thickens
all will be affected

blind to all but fault
swollen throbbing pride
withholding graceful mercy
none endure my chide

words divide asunder
biting truthful flow
searing core deep phrases
silver platter deadly blow

dust settles downward
precious love defiled
wasted vital resource
ego child beguiled

feathers grown long
downy infant transformed
dependent but independent

rotting nest disintegrates
slight breezes destroy
breaking home

unanswered food-prayers
turn terrifying sky unknown
into tempting frontier

brink-teetering feet
relaxing death grip
releasing into life

i was just a kid
the first and last time
i picked up a barnyard kitten
she hit me with every sharp thing
she had in her arsenal
including her hiss
which i felt as much as i heard
in the same way you feel the rattle
when you hear the snake
that day i learned that
even cute things can be ugly

the low-hanging clouds
mean that god is in residence
on the mountain of serpents
just west of here

tendrils of holy mist descend
adding depth to my perception
of the many canyons and rises
that are just flat foothills most days

adding understanding
by obscuring
showing me more
by showing me less

only god moves in this way
i bow my head in reverence
for my father, god
for my mother, nature

indistinctly
but continually
meeting
then parting
engaging and
retracting
embracing
but withdrawing

marry and divorce

ever present
but never noticed
pendulum's swing

walking after rain

deep-seated bone-chill is a cold reality
yet here i stand watching intently
as glacier-cold waters rush by a bend
in a thunderously steady march
navigating the rocky course
of my river with precision
and strict efficiency
always finding the
path of least
resistance

blood-twig dogwoods
howl at the blue moon
while hollow-eyed susans
dance on chinook winds

pale purple monkshood
death-rite prayer chants
are swallowed whole by
yellow-throat daylily laughter

the good-news sunflower
tries to misremember the
night-shaded moonflowers that
bind her gospel to the earth

morning glory intentions
are not what they seem
hearalded by down-turned
white-truth angel trumpets

the greatest generation
are only kids now
i pray they do better
than we

in my sons' eyes burns
a brilliance unmatched
my hope for a world
gone astray
 
my daughter's heart's full
of compassion and peace
my hope for a world
full of hate

the beautiful
scraping sound
a glacier creates
as it grinds
through granite
that resonates
in million-year
wavelengths

the subtle
quivering
vibrato
gently expressed
by the breeze
as it plucks
a harp-string
spider's web

the horrible
dramatic
crescendos
of horn-shaped
funnel clouds
as they blast
knee-high
cornfields

the sublime
whispering
harmonics
heard in the
dead of night
as the world
dances
around
me

like a tunnel with a retreating exit
he felt his life slipping away
tightly held with his hands
loving hands that had never
ever caused pain
life became a lightning bolt
here and gone in an instant
only memory remains

and as the darkness gathers
all light and life into a pinpoint
he looks to his left
(it's always to the left)
and his angel unfurls her wings
and through her eyes he receives
the strength to hold on
and **** the unbearable thirst

on good days
sunrise follows sunset
the world of beauty
is born fresh each morning

on bad days
sunset follows sunrise
darkness is coming
we're all gonna die

every other day
(most) days of the year
i have more important
things to do

like eternal lovers
beneath liquid grey skies
rising and falling
water carved and weathered,
the waves of dry earth
giving birth to a mountain
that feels like forever
to a sojourning heart
that reverently prays:

my father, my mother,
my brothers and sisters,
are nothing but earth and sky

how am i supposed to

keep the house clean
while
doing my office job from home
while
home schooling my three kids
while
distancing myself from everyone
while
being so stressed about coronavirus
that
it feels like i've done a week's work
by tuesday

and

how do i do it all
without paper towels

i am tired

but i am still healthy

looked up to you so long
i stumbled on your feet
didn't realize we stand
on the same street

but your status didn't fall
in fact you helped me see
in view of everything
the one i need is me

he's lived ten thousand lives
he's died ten thousand deaths

he's helped uncounted beings
and he's hurt everyone

he's summited every peak
and died in every valley

he's been both emperor and thief
both savior and tyrant

he has laughed and he has cried
he lives and then he dies

still faithfully he trods
the path that never ends

the path seems like a circle
but the circle is a spiral

or so he tells himself

i carry many telltale scars
but the deepest of them all
lies at my dead center
a permanent reminder of
the lost connection with
my mother

in the end,
hopefully
it seems that all
was for nothing.
that means that
our goal
has been met.
as a family of humans,
around the whole world,
we came together
and kept
our distance.
in doing so
we defeated an
invisible enemy.
together.

i am
but a memory
of who
i am
yet to be

i thought i was once a bird
rising falling with the breeze

i thought i was once spider
knitting delicate death traps

i thought i was once a mouse
nocturnally gnawing secret doors

i thought i was once a bee
flower jumping bumbling expert

i thought i was once a vine
strangling hosts as i climb

i thought i was once a lion
and all did bow and cower

i thought i once lived a life
or separate lives
one after the other

i was a bird surfing wind and breeze
i was a spider crafty web spinner
i was a mouse skittering dark passages
i was a bee flying life spreader
i was a vine by nature climbing and killing
i was a lion maimed and disgraced

i thought i was once another being
or so i told myself

at this moment i am
crystalized and solidified
into this body and mind
that i call my self

when i die i become liquid
i exist only as a part of the whole
just as floating ice dissolves
my self will disappear

until i become a self once more
just like rain freezes to ice
melts and flows to the sea
then evaporates and falls as rain

but for the present moment
i pray that i'm as strong as a glacier
scraping canyons for mountain springs
carving a better world for those that follow

sometimes
i want to implode
and swallow the things i said
turn back time
crawl into the womb
and never come out again

a lily summer blooms on horizons
glistening with mercury and wonder
as waterfowl slow dance in the pale light
of a dying and star-crossed moon
to the hollow echoes of ill-fated waterfalls
that refuse to surrender to tidal gravity
and in the end, it all means nothing

but the sun still rises
and his childhood eyes open
brimming with curious wonder

just pick up
the pen
let it flow

just pick it up
and you will know

what needs
to be said
or rather read

someone
will read it
relate it
restate it

just grab
the pen
let it bleed

let it bleed
for you
for him
for her
for them
for us
let it bleed
altar wine
savior's blood
permanent ink

on a bright sunny day
in a wildflower meadow
near the mountain top
i fell into the chasm
that broke and split
me in two

in the dazzling sunlight
seated on a petal
of a long-stemmed beauty
the breeze whispered my name
and turning around
i found you

in the darkened recesses
of the innermost cavern
and under the trapdoor
hidden in the floor
of the bottomless pit
i found you

i was born
in a frail basket
on the river of souls
that unceasingly flows
from heaven to hell
and back again

riding the rapids and
swimming the pools
i float through the
valley of time
as it reveals itself amid
the eternal mountains

when this journey
is through and i reach
the deep sea
my reflection will join
the countless stars
of lifetimes past

and there i'll be free
until i descend
to do it all again
and there i'll be free
until i descend
to do it again

is it what i see
or how i see it
that matters?

is it what i say
or how i say it
that really matters?

is it what i do
or how i do it
that truly matters?

is it being alive
or how i live my life
that really, truly matters?

does the caterpillar
fear
the entering of the cocoon
in the same way that we
fear
the entering of the tomb?

thick
no end to beginning
no way to begin the end
turning around
i see myself, feel myself
lost in the middle of everywhere

i look at you
you look at me
i only see myself
staring back into my eyes

do unto others
as you would
just remember
the others are you

when i walked in your shoes
and saw through your eyes
understood misunderstanding
not realizing that the me you saw
was the you that I see

living a blind life
seeing another
without seeing
myself

dawn breaks coral-fire
valley-gathered fog
soaked with sunrise

river exhaling mist
currents toppling downward
cracked limestone bedrock
canyons split by time

desert-barren foothills
frozen waves of earth
breaking on blue ridges
bristling thick with fir-tops
cornered coyote mountains
snag wayfaring clouds
compiling afternoon thunder

ebony nocturne charcoal cathedral
lunar vivified névé snow glow
celestial entity diamond light show

still, i stand still

history making
still, i stand still

untold years
thousands deep
still, i stand still

distant peaks
runoff snow
universal life-blood
still, i stand still

river bend
greening life
stampede muddy
valley floor
still, i stand still

hundreds flee
panicked hearts
shrieking predators
swift advance
sun-bleached skulls
but still, i stand still

heap of kin
dead and dying
trail of death
circling omens
battle wounded
facing demons
and still, i stand still

my kind ends
my home gone
tipped balance
lost race
drying tears
last breath drawn
sun is down
still, i lie still

rubber ducky billows
bobbing in a blue sky bathtub
floating on a morning breeze

clouds moderating
liquid vitamin d sun
seeping deeply into pores

sundial shadows
belie still feet
connecting patio cracks

sweet daffodil vanilla air
narcissisticly teasing nostrils
spring swirling deliciously

a morning with no agenda

the golden age will start
when children of the father
and children of the mother
join hands in the realization
that they are sister and brother
all living lives of loving each other

and in seeing the beauty in all
ignorance and judgment will fall

and so let it begin
and let it begin with me

change

something
has to change

in this statement
lies a message that could
help us change the world

the problem we have is
we don't know exactly
what it is that has to change
it's just something

let's start with ourselves
and change the only person
that we have any control of
into that shining human being
that we think should fill the world

and the years fall away
like pages torn noiselessly
from the skin-bound book of my life

and dropped from a magnificent height
they flutter samara-style slow
lighting upon the dusty hardwood floor
like feathers piling up softly, silently
as they clutter the the library of me

and i sift through the pages
scavenging for gilded gold
but instead i find only me
and for once, that is enough

and for once, i am enough







.

last thing  i remember
counting backward
cold room fading

chest cracked
exposing heart
broken but
still beating

illusion of control
dissolves like
anesthesia

hours and days
coagulate
dripping
through
my fingers

am i ok
not sure i want 
an answer

sternum
consumed
blue flame
of pain

but

dawn's light
growing

and

i awaken
three month
night

i am ok
but i will
never
be the same

now
I bleed
for all

and none

will bleed
for me

its like i'm in this tiny aircraft
climbing steep and fast
when we hit rough air
i lose my grip
f
r
e
e
-
f
a
l
l
i
n
g

i
n
t
o
a deep
and dark
bog of depression
and it always alarms me
how i'm always so surprised
because it always goes this way
i trudge thru the swamp of sadness
just like atreyu did - a smile on my face
my savior up ahead and behind her
is this tiny aircraft-its always there
and i always get in gratefully
the mire quickly shrinks
and i do it all again

bright melodies of light
weave rhythms of shadow
that dance as songs of twilight
as the veil of night falls

so i sing my last song
with all my might
before the dark
claims the last light

clouds and wind spring loaded grass
rolling thunder broiling crass
spoken slander breaking glass
fleeing hatred is gaining mass

life worth living lightning flash
trundle blazing accidental crash
frozen wasted rainbow smash
shattered life like counterfeit cash

blood moon night will never last
steer the ship with splintered mast
script is written drooling cast
well of souls still holding fast

the queen of sorrow all will serve
pulse beat stop the quickened nerve
just ahead see deadman's curve
all is lost with no reserve

broken halo stolen grace
battered heart and swollen face
fiction's fact nowhere place
rapture's heaven leaves no trace