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jordan Mar 2020
the silver side of the cloud
floats on the far side
remembering not the price it paid

the glory days are far behind
night life stretches out ahead
the path is felt not being seen

the witness ran away
the judge's mind is blind
the jury is ripe with enemies

and yet

there is a home for you
in my stillborn heart
submerged in the warmest blood
jordan Mar 2020
and deep inside
the king of dust
wishes all he knew
was covered and ******
into a forgotten land
of stone and rust

and the queen
she plays along

and the king
he knows he must
wallow and wail
in the tenement halls of lust
he cannot be left alone
with his lack of trust

and the queen
she sings his song

his humanity dwindled
when he called himself just
in the face of all
that will combust
and the pressure
of the thickening dust

and the queen
she suffers long

but the queen
has been done wrong
  Mar 2020 jordan
Lily
The man was leaning back in his fancy wheelchair
So much that he was almost parallel with the ground,
And while everyone else who was
There for the church service was freaking out,
He was as still as a gym before a free throw.
His left leg was not present, his right one at an unnatural angle,
And my mind started to conjure up a bomb
That had thrown him through the air,
Away from his friends, his commander, away
From his life as he had known it.
He had large homemade, not quite mittens,
But knit sock-like articles over his hands,
Alternating orange and black yarn with only a couple of
Cute errors where orange touched orange or black touched black.
A slight grunt, a swift motion, and the mittens were off,
Revealing a left hand twisted into a fist and a right hand
In a white cast, hanging limp at his side.
His soft peppermint scent, large wrinkly face, and wispy
White beard was reminiscent of Santa Claus in the mall,
Though Old Saint Nick was never that far back in his chair.
His assistant was a frantic college girl who looked like she had lost a child at the park
And was trying to decide whether to ask for help or
Continue to struggle helplessly on her own.
Each turn of a dial or press of a button pushed the man farther down,
Until his feet were almost higher than his head.
Yet on the man’s face was the type of smile that a grandpa has
When he’s about to checkmate his grandson in a game of chess;
Triumphant, knowing, loving.
He must have seen me openly staring at his cruelly funny dilemma,
For he turned to me and grinned,
“Don’t worry about it; makes life interesting.”
I smiled back, not knowing what else to do.
As suddenly as a pitcher throws to first,
The man jolted upward, and his chair returned
To its normal angle.
With the crisis averted, church
Began, and although I tried to focus on the preacher,
My eyes and mind kept wandering to my veteran.
His one leg tapped to his own drum,
His strong voice belting out the melody on the hymns,
And a hard “Amen!” was heard every other sentence.
Happy.
He was happy.
He had one leg, two useless hands, was living in a place away
From family and friends, with much of the joys
Of his youth over, past, gone,
Dead.
But my veteran was happy.
His frantic college assistant seemed very pleased
That his chair didn’t have a repeat episode on the way out
Of the chapel after church.
He shot me a quick nod as he was wheeled out,
His wisp of a beard bouncing on his chest.
Perhaps he would have been a Santa Claus at a mall
In a different life, one without war, sadness, pain, hardship.
Maybe he could have been a more active grandpa to his grandkids,
If he had them; he could have played football catch in the yard,
Secretly baked cookies for Grandma with them at two in the morning,
Get on the roof and scare his kids hanging Christmas lights.
Maybe he could have done and been all these things, but for the
War, sadness, pain, hardship.
I know what the veteran would say to that though:
“Don’t worry about it; makes life interesting.”
Thought I'd write about a character I saw at a veterans' home church service this Sunday.  I thought he had a good lesson to teach, although he wasn't aware he was teaching.
jordan Mar 2020
there's a loathing inside
that i'm loath to admit
but as much as i hate it
i'd be remiss
to ignore and abhor
a piece of myself
until it screams out
in selfish affection
demanding attention
or at least an admission
of that part of me
that's in darkened remission
until the ripe time
it breaks free at last
destroying myself
and all in my path
jordan Mar 2020
i sit in my red-brown chair
my favorite old leather chair
the one with the big brass tacks
and while looking out the window
at the snowy mountain that rises
from the ancient sandy seabed
of the blue-green valley floor
i come to the understanding that
there are bottomless holes
in my heart and soul
that can only be filled by the
golden-orange sunset clouds
as they drift in complimentary contrast
with the wide violet-blue skies

and as the heavenly color fades
i feel a piece of me cry out
fearful of the imminent
blue-black night
  Mar 2020 jordan
Rachel
The dandelions are new today
Up on the mountain top
Blades of new grass are alive today
Up on the mountain top

I came to pray to renew today
Up on the mountain top
On my knees in the dew today
Up on the mountain top

Asking for help I'm askew today
Up on the mountain top
Searching for the god I knew today
Up on the mountaintop
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