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Josie Patterson Nov 2014
flashing blue lights
stop lights
car lights
the light in your eyes
opening me to the night
a glowing spark sending
fear far from you and I
in a world where all we need is ourselves
we forget to live with each other
around the fears and doubts
that no doubt
are here
i hear you now
i look in your eyes
not letting myself fear the contact anymore
connection is intimidation
it has been for years
the closer you look at someone
the more flaws you see
so we live saying
look at me
but not closely
i cant let you see me for me
like keys on a keyboard
you press into me
embrace
my forehead pressed against your chest
feeling the pulse of your heart
like a tapping foot
restless heart syndrome
the words from your breast speak louder
than word of mouth
or words from mouth
and i love you
i love you i love you i love you
i really do
and i feel cheesy as all hell writing this down
but holy **** do i love you
and you are far away
and i cant handle that very well right now
i need you
i just need to be held
and hear your voice
and kiss your stupid face
because i ******* love you
and i cant think of any other way of putting that right now
im creatively drained
Josie Patterson Nov 2014
your face is like marble
perfectly contoured to reflect your state
an evershifting masterpiece
like sand flowing through an hourglass
time slipped away
and your hair like a beach on a crisp day
your voice like a warm stream
my limbs long to intertwine themselves with yours
like the twisting knarls of an overgrown cedar
growing into one another
and though grainy through pixelated screens
you are beauty
in unconventional ways
the words i use to describe you are mundane
and unsuited to yourself
though the english language could not have the capacity
to encapsulate your beauty in any words
and you are
beautiful i mean
i see you
and i cant believe that i am the one to give you butterflies
when tones buzz
and miniscule letters are recieved
i physically cannot contain my feelings
i do a lap
jump up and down
run anywhere
to try and come to grips with you
and how you feel about me
because the butterflies that i feel when i even think about you
fill me to the brim
and burst out in a sigh
or a squeal
some physical reminder of the way you make me feel
like a young mountain range
we are still shifting
and evolving around one another
your magnificent peaks shadow my jagged cliffs
and our plates push up against one another
creating friction
in the best of ways
but the best of days
are made even better
by simply reminding myself that you are a wireless connection away
an entity to feel emotions towards
because your beauty
will always be real to me
and if i ever forget to tell you
please read this poem
Josie Patterson Jan 2014
As far as I know you are still there
Sitting
Waiting for a peace that will never arrive
Waiting for me

You patiently sink
Away into the splintered wood beneath you
Softly your lips brush your fingertips
A breath with the power of a butterfly
The claws of steam grasping the clouds
Floating far above
You

Blindsided by guilt
A murky puddle of fate surrounds your boots
Tendrils of anger escape through flared nostrils
Still
Sitting
Waiting
For a man that will never arrive

Wind is flowing past your hair like a stream
As fragile as the china in your shop
And I suppose
I am the bull now
Tearing through your armour as if it was tissue

You sit still

Waiting
for a love that will never arrive
Waiting
for a peace that will never find you
Waiting
for a woman that will never come
Waiting
silently
for me
Josie Patterson Jan 2014
Honey I shrunk the women
I shrunk the confidence
I shrunk the spirit
I shrunk the waist size
I slink away with my gains
Things I gained from the physical and spiritual loss of our women
with each plate a terror
each bite a struggle
And each drink a small respite from the hell that is consumption
More than 50% of our society feeling afraid at the table
Do not dare to eat anything bigger than your fist
Your stomach will not hold it
You’ve trained it to hate food as much as you do
As we enter the throws of adolescence
And our ******* grow
and our thighs swell
Filling the space around us with anatomical care
It appears as though our body is trying to hide parts of itself
Covering up the sharp edges
So we don’t cut ourselves
But that doesn’t stop us
We struggle for decades, Years
Because though a minute on the lips
Is forever on the hips
These negative body images we teach girls to strive for
Last longer than forever
and are much worse than a bite of food
abstaining from the simple sensory joy
that comes with a piece of chocolate
Or a plate of fettuccini
simply because if you did
“No one would want to see me”
But when I look at a plate of food
I do not see a challenge
I am lucky
I see potatoes stuffed with a healthy body image
Noodles topped with good self esteem
And broccoli steamed in my confidence
I am a minority
Because when most girls look at a plate of food
Even subconsciously they see
Salad with a dressing made of clothes that don’t fit
chicken with ******* that are much too large
And Macaroni n’ oh please Let my stretch marks disappear
Before I have to go to the pool
I feel an ache in my chest
But my pain derived from empathy
Is nothing
Nothing
Compared to the aching stomachs, sunken eyes
and sharp cheekbones
Of the victims of our worlds view of women
We are taught to be
Curvy, But not fat
Skinny, But not anorexic
Entertaining, but not over-emotional
unattainably perfect, but not fake
and our whole world is becoming one big contradiction
One plate of food
One advertisement
one beauty product
One girl
At a time
And we can try to place blame
We do try to place blame
We try to blame men
Or the government
Or the media
Because in the end they all had a part to play
But this took centuries of existing in our society
Millennia of festering patriarchy
Largely male dominated history
The dehumanization of the female
Springing from the hyper-sexualization of her body
The largely stigmatized natural functions of the menstrual cycle
The somehow simultaneously glorified and yet also disgusting ******
The lack of female leaders in our world because they will either be painted as a *****
Over emotional
Hormonal
Distractingly attractive
Or not **** enough to be in the public eye
And the process of women shrinking to allow men more room to grow
Josie Patterson Oct 2012
Tea
once there was a gorgeous girl
she was never understood
she left her beauty and passion
floating in a pile of blood
her fears and doubts have come back
along with plenty more
they're drinking tea inside her head
they spill instead of pour
the floor of her mind is sticky
and covered with sweetened tea
but even the sugar cant save her
just like it cant save me
Josie Patterson Oct 2012
count the tiles that line my moldy ceiling
ready to fall and crush my tiny soul
my body turned into a pile of cat food
ready to eat and serve in whiskers bowl
when whisker eats the heaping bowl of cat food
the sickness overwhelms its body quick
whisker has a weakened immune system
my body food has made its body sick

— The End —