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Josie Ethington Apr 2015
just like that I wasted away the winter without you
You are the guy with the unkempt room and a cluttered used car. You have many things in your head, from ideas to plans to the latest book you’ve read. You are a dreamer, and that means that if the girl you date isn’t like you, it’s unlikely to work out.

Don’t date a girl who doesn’t travel. She is the girl who wants to travel in theory, but has never made the time. She is the girl with the medicine cabinet filled with cosmetics, hair products, and perfume, but a passport filled with blank pages. She does her hair in memorized strokes every morning as she has been doing this for years now. She is a creature of habit. She is impressed by wealth, nice cars, and titles, but she knows nothing about the world.

Don’t date a girl who doesn’t travel because she will drive you crazy at how she tries to “tame” you. She will regard your life as chaotic and will not be able to understand your many nuances. She will try to make you feel like you need her. With good intentions, she will cling to you and manipulate your life into becoming like hers. You see, she will look at you and treat you as though you are a lost puppy, and regard herself as the kind-hearted woman that will put you in the right path. She will talk to you about security, and you will wonder at her ignorance.

She won’t go to any of the adventures you planned out, because she thinks they are bereft of value and a waste of time. While you have a plethora of foreign currencies in your wallet, she’ll only desire to go to those “foreign” resorts that accept US Dollar. She will not take chances. Her whole life has been inside her comfort zone. Her childhood revolved around a home-to-school-to-home routine. She might never have been allowed to play outside, or she might never have wanted to. She thinks she is better than you because of her stable, 9 to 5 job, which makes you want to gag because you will never want a life like that.

Don’t date a girl who doesn’t travel. Her world is nothing to envy. Her world where the only people he knows are her co-workers and high school classmates who she drinks with at the clubs on the weekends. In her world, net worth is the metric of success. There is no room for making a difference, changing the world, and working for ideals that are bigger than her. Don’t even try to have a conversation about the environment or social issues, she couldn’t care less. Her adventures are about the argument with the co-worker she hates and the other driver that almost hit her when he failed to give way to her SUV on her commute.

She will want to eat in overrated chain restaurants with you, and will frown at you when you ask to try out that food truck down the street. She will cringe at the thought of eating at food stalls at a busy Southeast Asian market or elote from a street cart in Mexico. She will try to lure you into her world, but you are not even tempted by such a dull and dreary alternative. She is oblivious to how unappealing the bait she offers is.

That girl who doesn’t travel has chosen the unexamined and robotic life. You can only watch in despair as she runs on the rat-wheel of her mental cage. She will never understand that, while her wealth is measured by the number of zero’s in her bank account, your wealth is measured on the places you’ve been to and the people you’ve met and whose lives you’ve touched.

She will never understand why you have so many random keepsakes from your travels, like a small soiled napkin from a Moroccan café or the train tickets that you use as bookmarks. She will never opt for the slower and more scenic route. She will not be content to see the world through a window or television. While you are watching the sunset, she is checking her phone.

When you do travel, she will want to rent a car, when in fact you would rather take public transport and meet people with amazing stories. She will get jealous and insecure when you talk to strangers, even those you meet at the bus. You see, she doesn’t talk to anyone she doesn’t know and frequently ignores those she does.

She will ask you not to travel anymore, to settle down. And you consider it. Then you realize that your passion and dreams will end the moment you give in. You have always wanted to travel around the world, to meet people from all walks of life, and to life live to the fullest. There is still so much to be done! There are so many things to see and experience! You imagine yourself two decades from now and you see yourself happy; passport filled with stamps and a refrigerator filled with magnets from different countries. A woman is there with you in that dream, reminiscing about the adventures y’all had.

Unless the girl you’re dating is like you; a free-spirited, adventurous traveler, you don’t deserve each other. Whether by fear or complacency, she is going nowhere. She can keep that dream of a suburban house and a manicured front yard, not let her weigh you down!
This is a variation of a response to the tongue in cheek  Don't Date a Girl Who Travels. I read several responses, both good and bad, online. The problem is that there were none addressed to the men out there who travel. Indeed, a non-traveling partner can be just as burdensome and trapping for us.

I borrowed from and tracked "TO THE GIRLS WHO TRAVEL: DON’T DATE A GUY WHO DOESN’T TRAVEL" from the Bronzed Backpacker blog at https://bronzedbackpacker.wordpress.com/2014/01/30/to-the-girls-who-travel-dont-date-a-guy-who-doesnt-travel/ Her version was one of my favourites.
Josie Ethington Mar 2015
I've started to realize I'm more and more like the cigarette stuck between your lips.
You light the flame when you need to feel good,when you need the euphoric high.
Then you throw it out when it
{or I}
has served its purpose.
But no matter how hard you try to quit
{either one of us}
You're addicted.
And you won't stop coming back.
  Mar 2015 Josie Ethington
Audrey Lipps
foggy mornings,
we're tangled in sheets
two puffs of smoke,
three kisses on cheeks

i haven't felt this happy in weeks

she smelled like my favorite book,
with bunny eared corners and
underlined regret
her woodpine smile,
will take me a while
to
forget

she likes to scare you,
with tickles and feelings
a horror that conquers
creaking in the crack of darkness or
darkness
or
darkness

her eyes shine like Union Terminal
and her tye-dye smiles
are opaque
and clear
but my dear,
and my god,
and my God,
she is beautiful

she's the simple succulent,
no need for water
or commitment
but pleasing and
familiar
she's a polaroid picture
of the Queen City
and ****, is she witty

she's the only girl
who mocks Lana
and gets away with it

she calls you "honey,"
in her perfumed sheets
with a snowy exterior
on the busy streets

because from carmel apples
to frosted sidewalks,
she asks questions
and questions and questions
and she has a
glace that leaves cuts
on your heart and
a sway that rips your
control
apart

but monsters are people too,
and we could fall from grace together
monsters are people too,
and right now i'll endure
this
weather

i don't care about titles anymore
i don't care about length anymore

i care about guitar vibratons
and laughing on foggy mornings
and a puff of smoke and a kiss
on the cheek
and do you know why?

because
i haven't felt this happy in weeks
  Jan 2015 Josie Ethington
Gwen
I was taught to believe that your body meant nothing.
So I gave every part of it to people I never cared about.
I let their hands wander
I let them do whatever.

In a way I liked feeling wanted,
Even if it was only for 20 minutes in the back of a car
Or rushed before parents came home.

I was content with being used
I was content with being temporary

But deep down,
All I wanted was to be loved.

I wanted someone to want more for more than my body,
To tell me they loved me,
Rather than they lusted for me.

I gave up on being loved,
Accepting that I was just a toy
That I was only worth my body

Till someone came along
They told me they loved me
They told me they cared about me
They meant every word they said

They kissed me softly
And touched me with the lights on
We held hands
And we fell in love
Sorry if this is horrific and too long
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