She simply isn't the same anymore.
I felt completely
alone
while I was laying next to her.

I tried to give her a kiss, and she let me,
but I looked into her eyes before I did and the look on her face broke my heart.

She looked realIy
uncomfortable,
like I was asking for something absolutely absurd. As if we hadn't a million times before, cigarettes in hand with smiles on our faces.

I didn't say anything about it, but I was really injured on the inside.

I just
dealt with it
for a while,

but eventually I decided I really needed a hug,
something completely innocent so I could just feel the way she values even the most simple things we do together.

And so I hugged her tight and she wrapped an arm around mine and I cherished it.

Oh how I cherished it.

But then I opened my eyes and realized she wasn't hugging me back at all,
she was biting her nails
and texting.

I didn't say anything, but that's when it really sunk in.

I decided I wasn't going to just give up on it though,
I love her, right?

so I decided to grab her hand and squeeze it in mine just like I did the first time we hung out together.

It was the most
simple, loving gesture

I could think of, and I knew it would work because every time I grab her hand she squeezes mine really hard for a few seconds,

the way you grab somebody before they are about to be gone for a long time.

This is what I love most about her.

But no matter how many times I gently squeezed,

She
didn't
even
seem to notice.

Although I met you long ago it seems like we just met. I remember it like it was yesterday. It's a day I'll never forget. But now your here back in my life and it seems just like a dream. But the one thing I always remembered about you were your eyes. They still have that gleam. So now it seems like time stood still so we could meet again. And now this feels just like the beginning of a love that will not end. So I often wonder about this feeling of love that I feel for you. And I often crave for that beautiful feeling of your love that feels so true. But there are days when reality hits and I realize that your not mine. And that maybe the love you had for me has suddenly run out of time. Because some days its not enough time it seems. For us to laugh  and joke and share our dreams. And there's not enough time for us to be. Just a man and a woman. Just you. Just me. And there's not enough time for us to kiss. Or for me to tell you things like this. So if I could. I'd find a way to stop all the clocks on earth today. And then maybe even that won't do. Because I need an eternity for loving you. But if I could love you just for today I think may be then I would be ok. And then when you kiss me I'll know it's right. Because our rekindled love will last all night. R. Mendoza

I am specks of light
Memories that will soon be forgotten
Unfinished paintings on rough canvases
I am mismatched words
And saved texts
Almost sent,but never will be
You will find me
In those tears which were held back
Those pieces of shattered glass
Edges of rooftops of a  secluded skyscraper
In graffitis less rebellious than others
In cuts which don't yet touch the vein
I am unspoken words
And cigarette smoke
Whispers in the wind
That silent scream at Midnight's stroke

You scare me… but, it’s not a bad thing. You make me feel this feeling that’s indescribable. It’s unreal. There is positively no way to even describe this feeling. I crave you. I crave your presence. You bring me to a state of extreme euphoria. When I feel vacant, there’s only one thing that can alleviate that absence of feeling… and that’s you. You’re everything. I know it’s only been a few days, but oh, God, have I fallen in love with what seems unreal; fictional, really. I can’t seem to fathom how I could possibly cross paths with somebody so alluring; so euphonious, and felicit; someone who could convoke such a feeling of incandescence inside of me. I chose you out of everyone else, quintessentially because I long for your affiliation. I am enamored of the way you make me feel when I’m around you. I feel safe with you and want to be with you above all other people in this world. I love you.