Fingers make contact with hands,
                                             we can’t stand like,
butter
flies
     on
       a
tree branch

amidst a strange wind.

Fluttering above
trees rooted in sidewalks,
out of sight.

And it feels like
the texture of our shirts
is truth,
    the cat fur,
       the bed sheets,
           our clenched teeth,
Molly whispers in our head
a meditative melody,
and we’re rollin,'
our infinite eyes
hung together
in widened silence,
enjoying a good lie.
Indigo children
with no words, just hands,
applauding the feeling,
dreading the end.
Time past,
grown up,
deflated,
we come down
to see that
sober is just
categorizing
adjectives.

Its so easy to tell
when she is broken.
Shell fake a smile
but her eyes go dull
a sad shade of green
with hints of blue
Like sunshine in the dead sea.
She smiles
her cracked porcelain smile
and her inner fire flickers
like dying embers
she tries to hide behind a smile,
but her eyes speak volumes
her mouth dares not.

Let me tell you about the first boy I fell for. I mean, really fell for.

He was different. Not in a sense that he was strange or anything like that, but in a way that he was different from most people. He had a similar thought process to me and we actually understood each other. Whenever he would start talking about something that interested him, his eyes would light up and he would put his hand on my thigh, squeezing it whenever his story got more intense. He never broke eye contact with me when it was my turn to speak. He actually listened to what I had to say and no one has ever done that for me before.

I fell for his smile the first time I saw it. I don't know why I was so drawn to it, but I was. It was contagious.

I fell for his eyes. They were dark brown, almost black and extremely easy to get lost in. Everytime he would smile, his eyes would almost completely shut because of how big he was smiling. It made my heart melt.

I fell for how his hand fit so well in mine. Everywhere we went, our fingers were interlocked so tight that nothing could break through us. In fact, whenever someone would get too close to me, his hand would tighten around mine and he'd pull me closer to him. He made me feel safe.

I fell for the way he would look at me. We would be lying next to each other and I could feel his eyes on me. I'd look at him, smile, and cover his eyes with my hand telling him not to stare at me. He would reply with, "Don't tell me what to do. I'll stare at you all I want!" All I would do was laugh and kiss him quick on the cheek.

I fell for the way he touched me. He was always touching me one way or another. He would usually run his fingertips down my side to my hip and up my back. If I got lucky enough, I would feel him brush my hair back and gently kiss my neck. I couldn't help but smile and have the urge to kiss him over and over again.

I fell for the way he slept. Even then he had to be touching me, otherwise he would wake up and drag me closer to him. He looked so peaceful. I couldn't help but kiss his cheek and run my fingers through his hair.

I fell for the way he kissed me. It was natural. His lips seemed to melt with mine and not once did he try shoving his tongue down my throat. His kisses were addictive and I could not get enough of them.

He seemed perfect. Sadly, I didn't find out how big of a ******* he was until it was too late.



                                B.S.

she sits
in her grandmothers chair
head in hand
staring placidly out the window
frost is starting to form at the outer edges
and she feels the chill creeping through the glass
so she tightens the afghan, another of her grandmothers
hand me downs, around her
and starts to gently rock back and forth
  staring
into the dreary winter vastness
letting her mind wonder
to simpler times
carefree, uninhibited, happy
   young
no, she thinks, this is not what i had planned
when did it slip from me
when did my dreams dissipate
how can i have let them go so easily
   unknowingly
with a sigh she knows she must accept
her fate
because somehow,
somewhere
she became lost
and she gave up on her dreams
so now, aging,
feeling a slight comfort
being amongst her grandmothers things
she sits
   unsettled
but accepting
accepting the hand she has dealt herself
so many years ago.

When kids pop more pills than balloons
at a fair, take more rips from bongs
than Beyblades, shake hands with *****
dollars and plastic bags, steal more money
than hearts, are in more mugshots than family
photos, **** more than war, sell more ****
than lemonade, read more billboards than books,
go through more girlfriends than socks in a week,
text more than they write, inject more ******
than flu vaccinations, drink more beer than fruit punch,
put their lips around more pipes than Popsicles,
and die more than live;
then we'll know we've failed them.

"Having depression and anxiety is so conflicting because, its wanting to do everything, but wanting to do nothing at all, its wanting to score high on a test, but not having the energy to study, its being afraid to lose your best friends, but not having the energy to hang out with them, its sitting in your bed at 3 in the morning worrying about the future you don't even want to have."

He told me that he'd always stand by me
Sealed his promise with a kiss
I found myself in his arms
An archaeologist discovering my ancient history I'd long since forgotten.
Buried myself deeper into him until I forgot who I was before
He could make the world go away faster than anyone else.
It only took one touch but
Fate has a funny way of breaking promises.
He was my savior crucified for my sins
He was suffering but he still made sure to rekindle the fire inside of me that had been out for so long.
He always told me he was my angel
The protector of those who choose not to fight for themselves
I never fought for myself.
One touch and it all disappeared
One kiss and I was forgetting my name
He was fighting in my corner every time.
How I wish I could go back to those days
You never know that that last kiss is going to be your last, how I would've held onto him longer
You never know that last touch will leave you wanting more.
You never know love until it’s gone.
Winter winds are as unforgiving as they are cruel.
The only way to know the beauty of snow is to feel it burn your flesh.
How unfair fate taunts happiness in front of those who have never truly felt it.
Consumed in the bliss of a single moment,
over far too fast.
I wonder if the world wept when their savior was taken from them
Open armed as if trying to take all of the pain away.
I like to think that winds whipped across the air
Families were ripped apart
I am sure the world broke out in chaos
At least that is what the world deserved.
Distractions are easy to find
I told myself that if I wanted to hard enough
I could tuck away the memories
of his touch
of his smile
of his heavenly laugh
Just...forget
But I fell too hard...to fast...unable to get up.
I met someone new
He told me he was a demon
Helped me slowly sink
Helping to **** the fire that once ran rampant in my soul
You cannot fall planted deep underground
I loved him but still wanted my savior -
They say misery is the best company, right?