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If you should go before me,

I’ll re-read every line you ever wrote to me,

every thought we shared so late at night,

the daily noise of our existence,

condensed into keystrokes by weary fingers

I’ll see, in every moonlit glade,
and every time 
there are no shadows in the trees,
that special light that always made you shine,

like bright little stars suspended in a globe filled with oil,
shimmering with delight and forgiveness,

waiting patiently to climb the wick

and burn my fingers when I strike the match


And I’ll hear your music,
which you never knew I listened to,

not with my ears, but with my heart,

and it will soothe me to dreamless slumber

when tears soak my pillow in endless twilight


I’ll remember every hungered kiss and every time
you found me hiding under our oak and scolded me
for putting off the work I should have been doing

I won’t put it off any longer
There’ll be nothing left for me but work
All the world gone grey, the mists
 of my memories
like a blanket
 smothering my tomorrows

But I won’t leave when you have gone

I will pay the tab for the time you gave,
finish everything we planned that autumn morn,
before I lock the gate behind me,
and follow breadcrumbs scattered on the loam
 Mar 2015 Jon Shierling
ESR
My peripheral radar found them, and i read them. The words spelled out the very definition of hurt. This newly acquired knowledge hit my heart the way an arrow would and exposed chest- deep. I had lost you. I played my cards into a tower, falling at the gentlest touch, and it just got kicked, kicked so hard that its remnants that were launched into space and spun around the earth so quickly that they reversed time. And although those words are part of the past I keep letting regret get the best of me. Even though I tunneled through the wall i built between us and climbed back into your arms, I cant even close a single eye at night in fear that you will fall from my open arms as if water from my palms and move on to purify whoever you land on next. And i'm worried, because money cant buy a big enough vault to secure all your beauty. And I hope, that my heart is big enough to hold all your love, so you wont have to give any to anyone else.
Take this violent heart of mine.
Someone pulled the pin with a kiss
spit shrapnel and blood,
cut your lips without meaning to.
Cough enough smoke, and your eyes water
phosphorus breath.
Born under the rising of a red sun.
Blood spilled this night and every night
between sheets of rain and steel
cold, heavy, stark as my eyes in the morning
when waking to the sirens.
Foxhole of fear and foot-shooter,
What am I good for?
Men may cry peace, peace,
but there is no peace.
Not in this violent heart.
In my mind I can see the rain pouring everything it has into the ground,
I can see the sun shining with all its might onto the earth
and I can see the air breathing all its breath to help a single rose blossom and grow,
and I know that due to all these things,
bouquets of flowers are given to lovers to show their affection for one another
and each petal, no matter the color, represents all the feelings we may or may not feel
yet cannot express,
so we give each other flowers to show emotions that mean more than we can say,
just like all the things given to a seed growing in the ground every day
to prove that anything, no matter size, shape or color,
can become beautiful enough to express the one emotion that can never be explained by mere words,
yet easily expressed with a single rose.
I'm sorry my words are all the same
All trains and the insane and
Unrequited love
I heard the howl of a locomotive just now
And I swear it was howling for me

The faces and things you'll never forget
I can't help but feel I'm next
To be added to the crowd of ex lovers
You'll try so hard not to remember
While I'm fighting to keep your face and hands
Locked inside my mind
It's for nothing

The sun is shining so bright
I can hardly keep my eyes open
And it's so warm
I can hardly feel the cold in my bones

I found a new paradise
In Fredericksburg, Virginia.
No oceans, no throw of the dice
A constant place with the same people
I've come to love so deeply
they call me an artist,
but i'm just trying to be worthy of that title.
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