I don't want to be here.
Or there.
Anywhere for that matter.
I just want to exist, free.

Like the wind taking fallen leaves
off into the sunset.
Or lonely ghosts coming to haunt memories of yesterday.

Aren't we all.
So lucky, if we can still find ourselves. Even after all the horrors time has brought us.

As I rise from the
grave, you
left me in.

Revenge is the
beat of my heartless
pulse.

Acting without compassion.
In a sick sense.
I think, I'm stronger than before.

Playing the role, perfectly.
I will be the medium
for all the hearts you broke.

& I'll plead insanity when the performance is over.

Sands slyly slipping  
through the hour glass and
Time's moving on.
A lot
faster than
I.
Try to remember the sound of your voice.
But it never works.
Memories serve no purpose
if you cannot tell
what's real and what's pretend.

I couldn't rush any quicker
Than to taste something
More bitter than your soul.
And swearing on improper nouns
I told myself to never look
Directly at your heart...

I did; you turned to stone.

have i made it through the winter?
it appears i have.
i don't think it was enough.

maybe, just maybe
if the birds come back and
build a nest for me
to look at everyday
that will be enough.

no.
i know what birds are.
they are distractions.
but i can be distracted for months.

birds are real and
birds are beautiful
but they are not my birds.

where are my birds?!
why can't i have my own birds?!

my tree.
my nest.
my birds.

i can build things.
i can make things.
i can even act like a crazy robin
  defending her children,
  flying and lunging at intruders.
i could.
i can even hop around
  with my mate and get worms
  and give them all to the babies.
i don't need anything more than worms.
or sticks. or mud.
or a couple ******* birds to hang around with.

it's fine.
i'm fine.
maybe if i can just watch the robins
that will be enough.