It was nothing
really
Nothing
I want to admit
Nothing
I'm willful
I don't want
To talk
about it
It's not my face
That gives me away
It's the pause
The fear
Of having
Nothing to say
On the precipice
Of my emotional
Abyss
Trapped in my Silence
Apathy as
Violence
You've Cracked open
the door
My nature
Abhors
A Vacuum
Is Filled
By defiance

I watch the surfers
Sleek black forms
Bobbing up and down
Odd cormorants
Flocking here
Waiting
A New England rarity
Good surf
On a bright summer day
How long
have they waited
A life of
Vigilance
And anticipation
I wonder
Why they pass
On wave after wave
Opportunities lost
Having waited so long
From my view
Up on high
Their mistakes are
Laid bare
Future and past
A Rolling set
They wait
Adrift
ocean of time
Until the right wave
Comes
And carries them
Into the present

I am up
Awake
Before the sun
It's arrival
Heralded by
Colors creeping
Out against
The retreating night sky
Do not mistake me
For a morning person
I do not relish this
Nor do I mourn
For sleep
lost
It could be  
found
But this
is necessary
Not without joy
Not without sacrifice
Without a word
It simply is
A ride
My Fortress
of Solitude
For a mind
Besieged
By thought
At war with
Itself
Do not
retreat
Into the past
A ruthless place
A heckling pace
That tells you
You cannot
Hang on
Give no portage
To fate
For you cannot grasp
What the future holds
Just
Keep moving
Focus
This ride
It is the only ride
That matters
I wrap myself
In its tight fabric
It's sounds
Clicking and clacking
Racing thoughts
Shifting
Centrifugal forces
Sifting
As I order
Myself
Ride
As long
as I pedal
I am
Present

Pause
One moment
Hyper focus
Self aware
redefine time
Blur the lines
Auto
biographic
Abandoning
or genetic inevitability
A story
Pre  written
In Indelible ink
Nothing
Is as
Invisible
As we think

The moment
I'm still
I start
to slip
Not tranquil
Free fall
fit
I ****
Wide awake
You
Insist
You're pulling
The strings

America
How did we get here
24 hour news cycle
Veal force fed fear
Reality television
Without any content
Morality supposition
Flaming discontent
Ignored civic duty
We really don't care
Reward the unruly
We like what we hear
Some because
we're better than that
Others because
they want to take back
What never belonged
To only the few
It's not media bias
That you can undo
You've tended a tree
Of hatred and fear
Don't be surprised
By the fruit that it bears
It's become inconvenient
Even you can see that
Calling fact fiction
And fiction fact
It's a grand old party
But parties don't last
Your house is on fire
And you lit the match

Momentarily
I will be still
Eventually
I will be still
Eternally
I will be still
Perpetually
Restless will