I understand
But it hurts
I never asked to be everything
I just wanted to be enough
You made me feel like I was
But now you’ve chosen her
And I get it
I would too
She’s beautiful
She doesn’t have to try
She doesn’t care
She’s exciting in all the ways
I’m not
I love her
So I get why you would
Want to love her too

He felt, to me, like Safety
And I want to WANT to feel safe

So I played the part
And he hurt me anyway

How do I trust myself
To choose safety

When the obvious option
Isn’t even safe
For me

How do you break up with someone
You were never even dating?

I never bothered saving your number in my phone
So that when you left, I wouldn’t feel any more alone

Soft touches that seemed
harmless
A kind gesture that might’ve help in the
darkness
A wide smile from a
familiar face
That said to me “it’s okay,
you’re safe”
But those soft hands
left bruises
And that kind smile turned
abusive
You hurt me, I was
a child
But I’m done with living in
denial

The red wine on the table sits opened and half poured
And next to that sits a barely touched attempt at a cheese board
The floors start creaking loudly beneath our twirling feet
Perfectly matching the sounds of our quickening heart beat
You’re smile morphs into laughter as we stumble about
I can’t find the adequate words to quite figure you out
But you hold my hands tightly as we glide across the floor
I can say with complete certainty this is what life is meant for