My worst fear is not death
I've been dead in my entire life
what I fear most
is to fall
deeply in love
to the man
I can't ever
call my own

i burnt myself alone
seemingly hopeless to the idea of us, forlorn
pain seeks to every inch of my system
bleeds to every part of my existence
I can taste the water it is now as bitter
as the love you've created which is totally over
is it ever enough to let the fire stop?
how could i ever break to grieve
when all i strive is to give
the love you'll never need
indeed

i still long for that* * day

~ for a friend dead of cancer at 48.

We are no more
than fragile meat puppets.
Decades ago, I saw men
blown to tiny, random
bits of flesh.
When that happened,
we had a saying, a chant:
Don"t mean nothing.
Didn't mean the comrade
meant nothing, just that
death means nothing,
only life matters.
We all have a bullet
looking for us.
Your's found you too soon.
Still, your life was good.
Don't mean nothing.
I'll miss you.
   ~mce

Hardly, my friend.
The Dharma shrieks
a diamond radiance
from my heart.
I do not fear
the turning
of the wheel.
I revel in it.
I made this world;
creator and arbiter.
I control my destiny
by controlling my self.
I choose how to live,
where to live,
with whom to live.
I know what I need
and take it.
I make my desires
into my truths.
My karma is strong.
It is not my karma
to surrender, ever.
My other lives
roiled with war,
death and destruction,
but never surrender.
What to fear in this one?
Only fools fear death.
Death leads to the Bardo
and the Bardo leads
to another try
at conquering life.
I sit where I am
and I choose who I am.
My heart feels
the circle turn
and I exude its
diamond radiance
once again:
action in inaction;
order in chaos.
I make my freedom here
in the still spoke
of the spinning wheel
we call life.
Let the Universe
look after itself.
I have other worlds
to conquer.
   ~mce

All Watched Over By Machines Of Loving Grace**

I like to think (and
the sooner the better!)
of a cybernetic meadow
where mammals and computers
live together in mutually
programming harmony
like pure water
touching clear sky.

I like to think
(right now, please!)
of a cybernetic forest
filled with pines and electronics
where deer stroll peacefully
past computers
as if they were flowers
with spinning blossoms.

I like to think
(it has to be!)
of a cybernetic ecology
where we are free of our labors
and joined back to nature,
returned to our mammal
brothers and sisters,
and all watched over
by machines of loving grace.

Pictures of dead people I know
are smiling and are so full of life
hanging on my wall
reminding me
to seize this day,
because it's not cliche,
and it won't come again.