It was three in the morning,
I thought I heard something in the wind
A voice calling to me
"Come to me."
And so
With curiosity fresh in my mind,
A staggered out into the moonlit night
And there she sat, upon a stone
Next the creek.
The closer I got,
The more she faded.
And when I was right there in front of her,
She said
"She needs you."
And so she disappeared
That cold, quiet night
And I went back to my bed
And wondered to myself,
"Who is 'she'?"
And then it hit me.
Mari.
I woke once again,
The sun peeking over the horizon
And I set out in search of her,
My beloved.
My best friend.

*The only one who matters.

Maybe if you closed your eyes,
The pain would go away,
Even if it’s for a moment,
That might be okay,
Sometimes sleep is what we need,
When our hearts are hurting,
Your heart will be relieved one day,
These flames can’t keep on burning,
I’m sorry that you feel this way,
But know you’re not alone,
I’m there with you during this hour,
I will be your stone,
Nothing in life makes sense to me,
So I can relate,
I’ve been so shattered recently,
My soul has been betrayed,
But Jesus Himself was wrongfully traded,
For 30 useless tokens,
So if God dealt you a difficult hand,
Know that you’ve been chosen.

The pieces of glass
That have fallen on the floor
Were from the shattered glass pane
That was your trust
I was tapping, tapping, tapping on the glass
Testing you
Seeing how much pressure you could take
But then, I tapped much too hard
And just like a window
The glass pane exploded
Sending shards of false trust everywhere
Cutting you and me
The pieces of glass
Lying on the floor
Are much to small to pick up and put back together
So you say, "What's the point?"
And I reply, "There is no point.
But as we rebuild our friendship
The glass seems to pick itself up, reassembling into a thinner pane this time
While I cannot resist tapping the glass, inserting my lies,
This time I will not break it.

Sometimes
Actually, a lot of times
I get that feeling
That feeling that makes me want to fire the gun
Let the lead bury itself into my brain, ending my life
Letting the crimson fluid, the life-sustenance bleed from my body and run onto the white carpet, forever marking my death.
Yes, sometimes I would like to take my own life, feel the breath drain from my lungs.
Sometimes I feel this way due to recent events
Other times I feel it due to an anxiety welling up inside me
One that cannot be quenched by even the most potent of medications
Sometimes, suicide sounds nice.

I must have drank a lot of pain
Judging by the way it aches
Must have sold a lot of secrets.
Now everybody knows
What my soul really thinks
Of my mind's painful decisions.
My soul, reaching out in agony,
Waiting for a response from the broken clock of my consciousness
I used to tick a regular beat, a steady beat
But now it's all over the place
Some days it ticks faster than I can count, shooting me soaring into a high
Others it ticks slower, seconds turning into minutes; minutes to hours, sending me into the depths of a Hellish low.
This is known by medical professionals as bipolar disorder
But I know it simply as pain.

It's interesting to think
That we are damaging the Earth as we speak
But still, we continue to spew our poison into the atmosphere,
Polluting the air with something we know we cannot breathe
"Just a little more, and then we'll stop", we say,
But still, we burn.
It's almost like how people work
When they pollute the minds of each other
With useless nonsense; a black smoke, created by the words we say and entering each others heads when they hear them.
It's unhealthy. Just like the carbon dioxide,
The useless words we say have little to no meaning.
But very unlike the physical pollution,
We can stop it.
We can turn it around.
But human greed prevents this.
And thus is born an interesting thought.