She is a double dare
Laughing like the air in the room was running low
Eyes like the open road
With hints of a sharp s turn ahead
She said sometimes you have to be spontaneous
She said why don't you?
Waiting in the dark trying to break through the blur of the squint
As faces passed by like mile markers
A hurricane of zebra print sorority crap
I didn't mind dry in the safe eye
Gasping in silence
Eyes closed tight
Nails on flesh
Screeching against the edge
Bedrock shifting in vibrations
As the world carried on outside
Careless but anything other than apathetic
Fire fighting off the inevitable dark
Beating drums
Peace against a chaos of war
And when it was all over
And sleep crept in
I woke up feeling renewed
More than a human being

I’m falling into that trap again. Suddenly, the balance isn’t equal anymore because my heart decided to love more, again. Just when I thought that what we had is scheme-free, that the love is shared, that I’m your base just like you’re mine.. everything changed. Now any move from you can shatter me. You took over every acre of my weak field, you took over me, and I became so fragile, so needy for you. And the more I grow attached to you, the more you grow to be independent from me. Am I selfish, for wanting to receive love just for the simple fact that I’m giving it? Am I giving my heart to you because I want your heart? Or is it a selfless love? But if it is a selfless love, then why am I aching? why am I hurting? why am I expecting? Does loving you, alone, make me good enough? Does it make me deserve to have your arms as my home? Is this real, or am I making it up? Are you aware of what I’m feeling? Why am I writing? So maybe you’d hear my screams? I don’t want you to hear, I want you to listen. I want you to listen carefully until you realize that I’m yours, even if you aren't mine. Listen carefully, until you feel my love so maybe it’d awaken a flame for me in your cold heart.

you had me
floating
when you said I looked
like the prettiest girl in the room
you had me
pulling the string
when you nuzzled
your head
into the nape of my neck
you had me
head in the clouds
when your fingers drew
little hearts
on my arm

you had me
floating but
you let me slip
through your fingers

you let me float away