majsrivas: Poems

01:12

majsrivas Oct 2015

01:12

So full of you, it's 01:12 and you're empty of me

©jenzybabyy

#thoughts #you #random

100% perfect boy

majsrivas May 2015

100% perfect boy

I woke up in the middle of the night
"He is the 100% perfect boy for me" I said and cried

©jenzybabyy

Hope

majsrivas Mar 2023

Hope

i hope your favorite people never turn into strangers

i hope all your what if's will bury themselves 6ft deep

i hope you won't meet God on the bathroom floor again

i hope you receive all the love that you give

i hope you don't lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who is okay with losing you

i hope you know you deserve more than that

i hope you get better, tho not today, i hope someday

i hope you find your precious soul in your time alone

i hope you don't give up even tho you have to

i hope that familiarity and longing fill the spaces between those fingers

i hope that you may be at peace knowing that this too shall pass

i hope that you trust yourself that you'll survive

i hope that you don't regret having a good heart because all good things come back and they multiply

i hope that when love visits again, may it be happy, safe, secure, and sure

i hope that tho it doesn't rhyme, i hope you understand.

hopes on March 1

how do you know heartbreak?

majsrivas Oct 2015

how do you know heartbreak?

so how do you know if you are heartbroken?

do you have the sinking feeling in your stomach,
or is it in the chest that feels like an anchor that scrapes?
do you badly want to touch his face,
and then cry because you cant?
do you wish to see him in your dreams,
and feels a little bit happy the moment you do?
do you know where to begin,
cos you are missing him?
do you cry on the bathroom floor,
in the midnight or before you sleep?
do you cry for all the maybe's,
maybe there's someone else?
do you pity your heart,
for how much hurt it can carry?
do you crave for his touch,
and the way it made you feel?
do you want to hear his laugh,
and the way his eyes smile?
do you still believe in love's magic,
the way you believed in him?
do you ache for the words he said,
the words you held so dear?
do you feel blank and blah,
and your world starts, falling?
do you avoid everything else,
that will take you back on him?
do you look back on the memories,
as they starts flashing?
do you tell yourself that it's going to be okay,
but sadly, you do not know when?
do you crave and crave and crave more,
until you fall into your sleep?
do you wish to God to bring him back,
even tho not knowing if it is right?
do you feel like you need to survive,
and wake up to feel it over again?
do you feel like you are dying,
but other times you are dead?
do you feel like these words weren't enough
to describe what you feel or
do you feel like you looked like intact,
but still never the same?

©jenzybabyy

#love #heartbreak #life #thoughts #you

July

majsrivas Jun 2015

July

He held my hands when he first saw me, after that silent night fights. He stared at me like i'm the prettiest girl, and everything feels right. He hugged me like tomorrow will never come and whispers words that sounds better than the first time. He says something serious and i should've said yes and then pressed my head on his chest. A promised that we will never say goodbye, and those were the things that i remember on the 1st of July.

©jenzybabyy

Last Wednesday wishes

majsrivas May 2015

Last Wednesday wishes

Wish i am strong enough by this time.
Wish i had the courage to face him later.
Wish that i could hug him tight by the time that i saw him.
Wish i could kiss him again.
Wish i could reach out and grab him and feel his arms around me again.
Wish i could share another day with him and share the laughter again.
Wish i can smell his armpit and feet.
Wish i could say i love him endlessly.
Wish i am not craving for him anymore.
Wish i am not crying at night wanting him to just appear in front of me.
Wish i am not crying on the bathroom floor begging God to bring him back.
Wish that i had him not only in my dreams so that i would not want sleep so much cos i know that dream is the simplest way for me to feel him again.
Wish the gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart game is not that strong.
Wish i didn't wished these last Wednesday wishes.

©jenzybabyy

never wrote them a poetry

majsrivas Oct 2015

never wrote them a poetry

I have held hand of others,
long before you came.

I've been hugged by not just one,
and we sang love songs too.

there are promises, memories,
stories and secrets

of all those things yours is my favorite,
cos I've never wrote them a poetry.

©jenzybabyy

#love #thoughts #you #random

New Year 2023

majsrivas Jan 2023

New Year 2023

Nitong nakaraan, naging nostalgic ako sa mga new year na nagdaan, mga new year nung bata kami, and sa new year na dadating pa.

Oo sobrang saya ngayon, hindi rin naman mapapantayan ang saya! Pero alam ko na iba na siya. Ibang-iba na siya―kasi noon, kumpleto pa kami at wala pang nawawala samin. Kumpleto pa ang mga lolo at lola namin. May mga fireworks display, sinturon ni hudas mula sa kanto hanggang kabilang kanto. Isinasampay pa ung sinturon ni hudas sa katawan namin tapos magppicture kami, may trumpilyo, luces tapos isusulat ang pangalan sa daan, maging yung ray-gun na paputok meron din. May mga pagkain pang nakalagay sa la mesa dahil naghahanda ang mga lola. May ham, tinapay, hot choco, at kung ano-ano pa na pati mga kapitbahay namin doon din kumakain salo-salo ang lahat! Meron din sayawan sa kalsada mga 90's na tugtugan "don't cry" sa gitna ng kalsada.

Habang sinasalubong ang taon, we played this game na "thankful for 2022, and looking forward in 2023" with cousins and titos and titas while drinking wine and alcohol til we drop. Ang saya mapakinggan yung mga bagay na pinagpapasalamat nila at mga bagay na nilo-look forward nila lalo yung mga things they share about our family. It means so much na pare-parehas kami na support sa isa't-isa at ramdam yung pagmamahal sa bawat isa.

Sabi ng isa kong tita, darating daw yung time na baka maiba na dahil siyempre magkakapamilya, career, ibang paths to take, na baka yung iba di na mag new year sa Clemente. Pero sabi niya sila ay nandiyan pa din dahil yun ang gusto nila. Oo alam ko pwedeng mangyari dahil na-experience ko na sa mga kaibigan ko. Dati palagi kaming magkakasama tuwing new year at pasko. Mahal namin ang isa't-isa na kung pwede nga lang palagi kaming magkakasama. Pero siyempre iba-iba kami ng mundong ginagalawan at tinatahak, may lumipat ng bahay, may mga pamilya na din kaya bihira na lang din kami magkasama sama. Nakakamiss!

Hindi ko alam ang future, pero sana lahat kami nandito pa din magkakasama, isang buong pamilya na magkakasamang haharap sa panibagong taon habang nabubuhay kaming lahat!

Masaya ako na na-experience ko ang pasko at new year sa Tondo! Marami akong ipinagpapasalamat hindi lang sa 2022, kundi magmula 1992! Alam ng puso ko kung ano yung mga bagay na yun hindi ko maisa-isa, basta alam ko masaya lahat at grateful ako sa family na ibinigay sa akin ni Lord. Hindi man kami mayaman, madami man kaming pagkakaiba-iba, pero solid mahal namin ang isa't-isa. Looking forward to 2023 and more! **

#newyear #2023 #thankful #grateful #blessed

September 2

majsrivas Sep 2019

September 2

thrown-out speeches I almost said to you:

i wake in the nights thinking why all my dreams are about you?

lest we forget, the moon is high that October 28 when we saw each other and sit on the back seat of the bus and i didn't know if you knew but the heartbreak prince, on that particular day, broke my heart--

and to tell you the truth there are so many things that crossed my mind that one magical night like "why are you here?", "did God send you to comfort me?" or "did He send you to catch me the minute i am free to be with our dear lost boys again saying "run away with me"?"

flashbacks waking me up to all the cold shoulder I gave you as i re-read our old conversation, to the times you reach out and i don't reply cos i played stupid games, chandelier's not flickering there, and i won stupid prizes.

but all's well cos we end well and i'm happy for you.

and those are the things i wanted to say to you on September 2
but all i did was to say, "happy birthday to you."

gc

Superficial words

majsrivas Sep 2015

Superficial words

it's crazy how can someone says he'll stay there forever or he's just there for you & would never leave.
it's crazy how you can easily fell to that.
it's crazy how you can hold on to that like it's a lullaby that sings you to sleep and you will feel genuinely happy
it's crazy how those messages are carved in your skin and soul
and much more crazier how superficial words will make you believe in magic for years yet in the end it will **** you, god, it will **** you.

©jenzybabyy

#words #thoughts

take me back

majsrivas Feb 2023

take me back

take me back to the days before
back to the time when our love was sure

take me back to those happy days
when we make memories—a love that stays

take me back to your arms
where you pull me close to feel your warm

take me back to those beautiful nights
where you squeeze me hard and hold me tight

take me back before the sorrow
take me back today or maybe tomorrow?

take me back to where there's no ache
to where every inch of my being doesn't break

take me back to you
you, my love, you.
take me back to you.

#relapse #takemebackwithyou

The thing i can't tell myself

majsrivas Sep 2015

The thing i can't tell myself

Yes, i'm not yet ready. Not yet ready to see you with someone else. Not yet ready to know you have someone else. Not yet ready to know you already chose someone else. But for me to forget you i never thought of saying this, "yes, he already had someone else".

©jenzybabyy

#love #thoughts

tonight's thought

majsrivas Oct 2015

tonight's thought

Sometimes i asked myself why it didn't matched.
Why all of a sudden you said we didn't matched.

How pathetic i am to feel bluer than blue,
And asked God of ways for you to miss me too.

I think it all comes back in flashes you know,
All the memories, they comes back, except you.

©jenzybabyy

#love #thoughts

Untitled

majsrivas Nov 2015

Untitled

I remember asking you, "do you think we're getting married someday, love?" And you always said yes. But you didn't know i thought about how i never wanted to be without you and how happy you made me. And how i wanted to go on being that happy for the rest of my life.

-attachments

#attachments #love

Untitled

majsrivas Jul 2015

Untitled

endure the pain of missing till you no longer anymore

— The End —