Love may be wonderful,
But it's always let me down

You ruined my childhood
Set the road for adulthood
You showed no mercy
Expected me to feel no pain

You messed up my thoughts
Didn't care that this war was pushing us apart
You had no remorse
Thought I wouldn't suffer

Favoritism was your way of raising us
You had no idea the blade had taken me
Wanted me to not complain and agree
Wanted me to live without a heart

You drank most of my life away
Couldn't see my pain and blood stained shirts
Alcoholism was your answer; you led me to my crutch
Blood is the price paid to not feel pain

But now the years have made you weak and soft
Think that you can treat me the same but expect more
Don't you see that the gap is too wide now?
You've taken my innocence, heart, and soul

Stripped me of my humanity and yet you expect and angel
The least favorite and strongest of the three was always me
Now you hope for your son back
Your pain has molded me into a monster

Keep on denying me, lie all you want
All you're achieving is losing the only only person and ever knew and loved you
You're lies and secretes will come to the light. you've lost your son, you lost his love

Now you demand love and compassion
Don't care for the struggle I'm suffering
You fear what you've created, you fear me
And its my turn to be selfish, it's my turn to end my life
You brought this on, you're the one to blame

This pain is to strengthen us
Those too weak die and fall broken
Those who remain standing reap the spoils of war

Close the curtains
The stain within claws outwards
Death a hidden desire

Preach I'm fine
Hollar I'm ludicrous
Yet death is all I seek

Peace within my clasps
Stolen from moral
To die is a sin

Freedom a sinful wish
Agonize life
Agonize virtue

Peace is sought out for sleep
Yet is peace seen as war
To be forgotten as a relic

I rather chase that which I can obtain than a dream that I'll never claim

We're on the same ship
Sailing through vicious storms
Bearing through the cold dark

But we're landing on different shores
Seeing different worlds
Walking different paths

if you want to bask in the shine of this double edge sword, bear the bittersweet bliss of being around him while the whole time hoping for more, expecting less, and enjoying the moment as it happens

What she asks for is something that she denied herself
With her slurred words, she sealed the doors
With every insult she got ****** into the darkness

My mind is a labyrinth, one that she desperately tries to decipher
With every bruise she makes a wrong turn
With every drop of crimson wine she falls into the black

Who she wants to know is someone who she pushed away
She doesn't know him, doesn't know that her flames become extinguished in his ocean of resentment

My heart is locked away and sealed, the key, something that must be earned
A key she frantically searches for
She tries to knockdown the walls, to make the door crumble
But her fists just make them all the stronger

When will she understand who she searches for is dead?
The undead left behind is unknown to her and she'll never know him because she can't **** him like she did with her son,
He's just a shell, a piece of battle armor brought to life

My life is not hers to command,
The boy who she seeks to dictate died,
I'm all that's left
And I will be in control of my life
Finally, ending her tyranny

I've lost that innocent spark
Lost that light I once had
I've grown cold to the touch
Grown dead inside

Broken glass can't mend broken a broken heart

You sink to the depths of despair
Choke on the memories of failure
And wish you could halt the agony,
To halt your gift

The shackles, however, don't let it happen
They grasp so ever firmly the beating drum of life
Bruise the flesh that they cling to
Barely maintaining your existance; you can see the clear blue skies from your watery prison

You gasp, you scream
You wish the shackles would shatter, that you would at long last be embraced by the void of darkness at the bottom

But in the back of your mind, at the bottom of your shackled drum, you pray and hope that these chains would bring sweet release
That you could once more feel the fresh crisp air against your blue and purple skin one final tine

You release tears unseen,
And scream to be released from limbo
To either perish or be set free
But truth be told,
You're the one who placed the shackles you hate so much
You're the warden of this watery hell

A beautiful melody,
A sight to behold
Fog clouds the path
Rain drowns the song

Search desperately
Yearn for it with your heart
Youll never reach the aching tune
Never gaze upon the divine scene

I feel my hunger growing. My desire pulsing, thirst growing
Knowledge abound, growth all around

I just bear through and endure because after the dark storm that tempts me with false promises of sweet release, I realize that after the dark storm, the clouds part to reveal the sun or moon and shine light and hint on a beauty that says that it gets better.

I'll fight one day at a time,
Face one demon each day.
Until I get by,
I'll fight one day at a time.

What lies beneath the mask?
Secrets untold
What truth is buried deep in the ?shadows?
The pain that's hidden from all
Which heart cries all alone?
The one that dies slowly inside
Why do we hide?
To protect our damaged souls

It's how I feel all the time. As if I stand alone even when I have friends who care and will defend me, I feel as if I can't trust them. That even though they'll expose their soul, heart and darkest secrets, I can't because they simply won't understand, care, or see how I feel. I'm in a prison and my cell is my mind. My warden is the solitude that seals the pain hidden behind the silver scars I have. Each tear shed is just a sign of weakness I must hide from all because if I show that I'm human, feel, care, love, hurt, and cry, everyone will be disappointed and look down at me. That I can't shred their image of me. That I am strong enough to be their Savior, when in fact, I'm slowly crumbling in the dark. And the only proof of it would be hidden within my art, poetry, and silver mistakes.

An empty canyon
An abyss of dark fog
Cold isolation
Frozen in time
Never truly moving forward

That was the norm
Then a blazing comet came soaring through the icy night
Land caught a flame
The dark sky light up
And hope was born

Thunder roars through the dying cave
Hammering, thundering, all through the dark

Like desperate wings flapping for dear life
It's all that fills the desolate abyss

Fear falls from the ceiling
Crystal tears that hold captive unspoken horror

Wailing tormented cries accompany the beating
Aunguish strikes the walls

Beautiful mercury droplets escape the vast void
How could such beauty exist in a plane of nothing?
For such beauty to even escape from the emptiness

These beautiful droplets are not the saving gift of water
Though of far more divine magnificence
A deadly radiance, the liquid fire
Do not dare wipe nor touch the falling droplets

Be amazed and honored to have witnessed such a rare phenomenon
Few have gazed upon the melancholy and glamorous event
Watch from a distance as mercury droplets rain from the empty void
Watch as the silver tears escape the hollow cavity

You're what makes me special, you're what lights me up. Oh now I'm on fire, the flame you can't extinguish it, join me in a beautiful flame. Our heat of love what we make it so, your breath next to mine, I whisper in your ear this, and this only; I love you

I have a storm of negative emotions, swirling and twisting, each one goading the other to keep burning. When one finally dims down, another takes its place; resentment, hate, rage, and sadness. This storm is my strength, just as this storm is my biggest weakness. If only, for a bit, would the storm stop. If only, there was a sun above the clouds. If only, there was something inside me other than this storm.

Life is cruel my friend, and love is a Labyrinth. Just kick back and relax, love wasn't meant to be found, but it's meant to find you.

Inferno filled glasses
They seek and search
Shinning upon the broken and deceitful

They burn with a hunger but are never fed
These passion filled eyes
Searching with a painful optimism

To sedate the lustful avarice
They seak and search
For the one worthy

Life isn't always fair but we must make the most of what we can, enjoy what we have, love those who we have and not mourn the dead, the living are the ones with trials up ahead whereas the dead are finally at peace and won't hurt ever again.

Don't fall into the dark
You can't lose your soul and believe no one loves you
I love you and I'll mend those broken cracks

Don't hate those around you
You can't keep hurting those that try to get close
I'll save you and teach you something other than pain

Don't cry yourself to sleep
Your tears they drown you amongst your sorrows
I'll fish you out and save you
With me, waking up everyday would be a breath of fresh air

Don't do it
The blades selfish and only cares for the thirst your blood gives it
I'll kiss your scars away
You won't need to suffer by my side,
I'd protect you from your demons

A smudge cover
Can't see the hidden title
The hardback conceals the stained white within

Pages were torn
Corners were burned

The words bled through what was left
Bitter waves etched the damaged white

Can't comprehend the insanity within
The entire thing is a discordance
Black waves attacking the stained land

Barely bound together
The rigmarole survived abusive readers
To be tattered and mistreated
Ripped apart and cauterized

Was this pitiful tale the author intended?
To whom did he write for?
What drove waves of ink?
Why was such desolation captured?
Was he pleased with his piece?

My life is just an extended poem. I'm a philosopher, artist, poet and a being with secrets hidden. When I decide to open up, the richest words come out, the deepest lines are said.

Why should topaz be cast aside for a sapphire?
Is saphire more precious than a topaz?

Name alone
Saphire
Topaz
Which is more precious?

Should you hate the shine of topaz,
Quiet yet deep
Should saphire be chosen
For boldness and color

Topaz yet another gem
Yet unwanted
Tossed aside
For the dull saphire

You chose the bottle over your family
You made promises you couldn't keep
Drank into oblivion
To numb your pain you let us drown in your drunken sorrow

I chose the blade over you
Chose to cut all ties to not feel pain
I bled all the toxins out
To live without love I gave you all my freezing indifference

Tis sad to say,
Our love is wrong
What keeps us away
Is that I'm not strong

Spread your wings an fly away,
I hold nothing for you,
Don't you hear the words I say?
Leave now, before I hurt you too
Leave now, before you break away

Lost myself, fell from once mighty throne
Became a fragile glass boy
Yet I never gave up
Kept on fighting
Even if in the end I made mistakes

Always hidden, mysteries that held power
Lost it all as my castle crumbled
I became human
Yet I still fought this war
Belligerent as ever, I strove to win
Although I only ended losing almost all that I love

Always smirking, confidence on display
All faded away
As the truth arose
It was all fake, lies I made to stay strong,
Still cried when I accepted the truth
Still stood as tall as possible,
Awaiting the next challenge,
Even though I failed

Once feared and hated,
Others began to sympathize when they learn of my silver scars,
The weakness was on displayed
And I began to seek help
Let those in who loved me
Put each broken glass back together
Still cracked, but strong enough to stay together

I'll push the blade deeper in
I'll swallow my pride and shed silver tears

To be near you
I'll keep you close; I'll lie to the world
To not lose you
I'll be someone else; hide my true self

I'll smile the pain away
I'll be the light that keeps you here

To not be forgotten
I'll protect you
To not be ignored
I'll bare my soul to you

I'll sow my lips shut
I'll ignore the fire and burn in solitude

To not be hurt
I'll deny my feelings for you; deny the special glances we share
To not be rejected
I'll push you away; push away the heart you've began to tear

Begging for help,
Crying in the inside
Wishing someone would see me drowning

No one stops
No one looks
No one cares

I battle day and night
This dark cloud comes and goes
I struggle to keep it in check
But I'm failing
I'm struggling

Wont someone save me?
Why can't anyone see?
Am I just too weak?

I'll keep on fighting,
Keep on the battle
I won't give up,
But won't someone lend me strength?

Open wounds that open the gates of hell
That is our story
Our forbidden chapters lie withing our bruises
Withing these silver lines

You see the smiling faces
But do you see that there's no light in our eyes?
Do you see the boiling darkness in them instead?
Or do you choose to ignore it

We lie to the world
And society brands us
Labeling us as the outcasts
Truth be told, we're more human
Because we know true pain

Words that paint a lovely scenery
It's our art
We seek to be in control
All we can control is how much blood to spill
All we know is the gleaming double edge sword

You preach at us
To Hell we'll burn
But we're already there
We write our stories in crimson words
The Blood Diaries, who will find them?
When?

You call us weak
Call us attention ******
But you think of frauds when you speak
The ones truly suffering are the ones smiling
The ones who try to heal others
The ones who smile brightest
The ones who laugh  hardest

Don't judge us
First read our Blood Diaries
See our pain
Know the secrets we hold
The burden we carry
Walk in our shoes
And then you'll see just how strong we are

Its what makes me human, it's what causes my heart to skip a beat. I can't describe this feeling, this feeling of bliss. It stops the thoughts, freezes the blood flow. Its what makes that twinkle exist, what makes my days have meaning. It's called love, it's said to be dangerous, but how can something that completes my soul be so deadly? It's what's worth risking, its whats worth fighting for.

A lost puppy, lost his home where he belongs
***** and unkempt, the pup hides in the shadows,
Looking for a matter that can show love

With an injured paw he searches for anything to quench his hunger
Finds none as night falls

Though the pup whimpers and cries, he goes back
Injured, hungry, and lost, he goes back to the monster he calls master

Even out in the rain with still no food nor warmth,
The pup remains loyal
For it's his love for his master that keep him alive

Sorry pal, but nothing is forever. Not even the strongest of chains, eventually they fade and break apart. That's life. But to truly live life, you must learn to treasure the present and the pleasant memories it gives birth to, to live through the dark times when solitude wishes to choke the light out of you.

I pour my heart on these pages, soak the pain in ink and let the strokes be seen. Each line that I sketch, is another line that was stitched on my heart. Every tear drop that falls, makes the paint come alive. Each color that joins, they mourn my love. The graphite that spreads, it cloaks these words. Each page holds, another secret to be told. Another love story to behold.

The storm may be fierce and the darkness might be terrifying, but eventually the clouds will part to show sunshine and a beautiful rainbow of hope.

Love now before you lose the ability to do so,
Tell him now before you lose him forever
Know he loves you back,
before you end up alone
Let your love be shone,
Before its just a faded memory

Stitch my heart,
Hide the scars
Put on a smile
Forget the nightmares
And aim for a new start

Upon the ultimate bed, you lay
Exquisite as ever, with an angelic smile

You tarnished your gift, gave in to the seven deadly sins
You stole, you lied
To sedate your unquenching lust
You let loose your unrelenting wrath

Guardian angles flock together
Lay eyes upon the one they failed

Let the trumpets sound loud and clear
And Heaven's light shine upon the final secret revealed

Your greed damaged our singing heartstrings
For now, they play the melancholy song of dissolution

Your gluttony for sweet release left us void
Took from us what you had once given
Left us starving to hear your joyous voice

Your wrath scorched our wings
Grounding us to earth
The fire of your agony still unknown
Yet the fire of anger begins to burn

Pride expelled you from Heaven
The lies you tightly wove masked the truth beneath

Upon the ultimate bed, you lay
Is that smile even real?
We mourn and sing the final farewell
Even that you stole from us
Upon the ultimate bed, you lay
Your exquisite corpse forever mocking

This key to my heart is long lost
No way of breaking the walls of stone
This soul forever hidden

No heat can melt this heart of steel
Deep inside only frost and power,
Not even the brightest of stars can thaw this being

This shattered broken boy rebuilt at last
The strongest of hammers can't break him again
Rebuilt to his formal power and glory
No man alive can hurt him again